


100 Ways to Say I Love You

by liberallesbian37



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-07-26 17:23:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 84
Words: 76,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7583083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liberallesbian37/pseuds/liberallesbian37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of oneshots--some connected, some canon, some romantic--surrounding the friendships and relationships of Emily, Aria, Spencer, and Hanna.<br/>Tags will be updated as I go.<br/>Based on a tumblr post "100 Ways to Say I Love You"<br/>http://p0ck3tf0x.tumblr.com/post/98502010026/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "Pull over.  Let me drive for awhile." --Paily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paily

                Paige had been in the middle of a very intense tree pose when a knock on the door made her lose her balance. She groaned, annoyed at having her yoga practice disturbed.

                “Coming!” she called, kicking her roommate’s dirty clothes out of her way. She opened the door, and her jaw dropped.

                “Emily,” she breathed, taking in the sight of the girl in front of her. She hadn’t seen her ex-girlfriend in nearly a year, and she never would have expected to see her here. Her eyes were rimmed red, and her hair was un-brushed.

                “My dad died,” she said dully.

                “Oh, Em. I’m so sorry,” Paige said, pulling Emily into a hug. Emily started to cry, her body shaking in Paige’s arms.

                “What do you need?” Paige asked. Emily swallowed.

                “Can you come to Rosewood with me?” she asked. Paige didn’t answer for a second, and Emily mistook her silence for rejection.

                “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I came here. Of course you can’t drop everything and come to Rosewood. I’m being silly. I should just go,” Emily mumbled. Paige grabbed her wrist before she could leave.

                “Em. Of course I’ll come with you.”

\--

                And that was how Paige found herself stuck in a car with her ex-girlfriend for a forty something hour drive. She had assumed that they would fly, but as always, Emily surprised her. The girl had said she needed time to think before she got home. Paige suspected that she was trying to put off the inevitable.

                “Are you hungry?” Paige asked softly. She wasn’t actually hungry herself, but they’d been driving for five hours and Emily had hardly said a word. Emily shook her head.

                “Do you want to take a bathroom break?” she asked. Emily hit the brakes suddenly and Paige jolted.

                “If you want to stop, just say something,” she snapped. Paige sighed. She knew Emily wasn’t actually angry at _her_ , but this was going to be a _very_ long drive if it continued like this.

                “No, I’m fine. I was just checking,” Paige said. The light turned green and Emily accelerated. Paige grabbed onto the door, bracing herself. On second thought, the drive was going to be much shorter than expected if Emily kept driving like a maniac. If they didn’t have an accident before they got there, that is.

                With a small sigh, Paige checked the messages on her phone. Her coach was furious that she was going to be missing practice, but she’d expected that. She’d emailed her professors, telling them that her uncle died, and they were all understanding. Luckily, she didn’t have any exams for the next week. Her roommate had sent a winky face and an extremely inappropriate message. Paige rolled her eyes. She wasn’t about to seduce her ex while accompanying her to her father’s funeral.

                “He had a heart attack,” Emily said suddenly, startling Paige for the second time that day. Paige glanced over at her, but Emily wasn’t looking. She didn’t even seem to quite be talking to Paige.

                “I was sitting in my biology lecture when my mom called. I’ve been dreading this call my entire life, you know? You get used to it, being an army daughter. Any unexpected call is an explosion, a bullet, MIA soldiers… I never thought he’d have a heart attack. Even after he was diagnosed with a heart condition, I didn’t expect it. How stupid is that?” she asked tearfully. Paige sighed and rubbed her ex’s thigh.

                “It’s not stupid,” she said softly. Emily didn’t say anything, but her breath quickened and she started crying harder.

                “Em, pull over,” she said. Emily wiped at her tears.

                “I’m fine. It’s fine,” she said. Paige shook her head.

                “Emily, pull over. Let me drive for a while,” she insisted. She sighed when Emily didn’t respond, and she thought the girl was going to ignore her. To her surprise, Emily pulled over. They quickly switched seats and Paige eased back onto the road.

                For nearly a while neither girl spoke. Paige had turned on the radio, making sure to keep the volume low. About fifteen minutes into their switch, Paige glanced over and noticed that Emily had fallen asleep. She smiled sadly. Emily looked so peaceful asleep, so unlike she had moments earlier. Paige looked back to the road, and for over an hour, the drive was uneventful. It was getting late, and the traffic they’d hit earlier in the day had all but disappeared. Paige glanced at the dashboard. They needed to stop to get gas, and soon. Feeling bad, she reached over and gently shook Emily’s shoulder.

                “Em, we need to stop for gas,” she said. Emily’s eyes fluttered open and she nodded.

                “Hey, Paige?” she said quietly. Paige glanced over.

                “Yeah?” she replied.

                “Thank you.”

 


	2. It Reminded Me of You--Emison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emison

                “Em, I’m home!” Alison called, locking the door behind her. Even after all this time, she was always careful to lock her door.            

                “In the kitchen!” Emily called back. Alison breathed in the scent of Emily’s cooking. It had greatly improved since high school, and it was now one of Ali’s favorite things to come home to.

                “How was your day?” Emily asked, giving her wife a peck on the cheek. Alison gave an exaggerated sigh.

                “Oh, the usual. Tenth graders who think their lit teacher is out to get them. Eight years olds who haven’t grasped how to kick a soccer ball,” she said with a laugh. Emily rolled her eyes.

                “Dinner will be done in fifteen minutes,” she said. Alison left the room to put away her school bag and coaching gear. She hesitated, looking at the present she’d bought for Emily. She’d picked it out earlier that day, but she wasn’t sure if it was the right time to give it to her. Emily tended to be uncomfortable with out of the ordinary gifts. Their anniversary was in a month… But she couldn’t wait that long. She picked up the box and went to join her wife in the kitchen.             

                “What’s in your hand?” Emily asked, noticing Alison toying with something.

                “I, uh, I got you something,” she said, her usually smoothness gone. Emily’s eyebrows knitted together as she mentally went through important dates that she might have forgotten. When she couldn’t come up with anything, she frowned.

                “What for?” she asked. Alison shrugged.

                “It reminded me of you,” she said simply, trying to pretend it didn’t matter. In truth, she thought it would break her heart if Emily didn’t like it. Emily raised an eyebrow, but accepted the box. She opened it, and gasped.

                “Oh, Ali, I love it,” she exclaimed, staring at the necklace. It was a simple gold chain with a gold disk dangling from the end. _I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be_ was engraved on the disk. Emily’s eyes filled with tears.

                “I can’t believe you remember this,” she said, taking the necklace out of the box.

                “Of course I remember! That was our first kiss,” she said. Emily smiled, the memory fresh in her mind.

                “Will you put it on me?” she asked. Ali nodded and unclasped the necklace before putting it around Emily’s neck and redoing the clasp.

                “We wasted so much time. _I_ wasted so much time,” Alison said regretfully. Emily turned around to kiss her.

                “Maybe… Maybe we needed to go through all of that to realize how much we loved each other,” she suggested. Alison gave her a sad smile, but didn’t say anything. Emily knew that her past relationships had ended much better than Ali’s. She was glad to have loved Maya and Paige. They weren’t regrets, they were a part of her past. But she knew it was hard for Ali to feel the same way about her history with Rollins.

                “At least we’re together now,” Alison said finally. Emily nodded and kissed her again.

                “I really love the necklace. Thank you,” she said. Alison smiled.

                “I’m glad.”

                _BEEP._

                “Dammit! Shit, shit, shit!” Emily exclaimed, rushing over to the oven. She sighed, looking at the burnt mess.

                “Well, we’re not having lasagna tonight,” she said with a sigh. Alison put her arm around Emily’s shoulder.

                “I’ll go order take-out.”


	3. No, No, It's My Treat--Spanna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanna

                “Get up,” Spencer demanded. Hanna groaned and pulled the blanket over her head, rolling over to face away from her friend.

                “How did you even get in here?” she asked in annoyance.

                “Emily gave me a key,” she replied. Hanna groaned again, making a mental note to yell at her friend the next time she saw her.

                “Why did Emily give you a key?” Hanna asked.

                “Because she had class today, and _somebody_ needed to come over and get your ass out of bed,” she said.

                “Now get up and get dressed. We’re going out,” Spencer said, pulling the blanket off of her friend. She sucked in a breath at the sight of Hanna’s pale skin, mottled by burns and bruises. Hanna glared at her.

                “I don’t feel like going out,” she said, though she did sit up and put on a robe, thankful that she’d taken a shower earlier that morning.

                “Hanna, you haven’t left this loft in three days,” Spencer said. Hanna arched an eyebrow.

                “Have you been watching me? And what’s your point?” she asked. Spencer sighed.

                “No, I haven’t been watching you; Emily told me. And my point is, you won’t talk to anyone about what happened in there, you won’t leave the loft, and apparently you’re no longer engaged,” Spencer said. Hanna pursed her lips.

                “How do you know that?” she asked.

                “Jordan called me. He said you broke up with him _over text,_ and he wanted to know if you were back together with Caleb,” she replied. Hanna’s eyes widened and her lips parted in surprise.

                “Spence, I’m—”

                “It doesn’t matter. Just get up and get dressed because it’s time to get out of this loft,” she interrupted. Hanna sighed, but decided not to argue. She got up and put on her clothes as slowly as possible, much to Spencer’s annoyance. Finally, she followed the brunette out of the loft.

                “Where are we going?” she asked, resisting the urge to grasp Spencer’s arm and walk as close to her as possible. She had a feeling the other girl wouldn’t appreciate that very much.

                “Where do you want to go?” Spencer asked. Hanna shrugged. If it was up to her, she’d still be in bed, but Spencer probably wouldn’t appreciate her saying that either.

                “Do you just want to go to the Brew?” Spencer asked. Hanna shrugged again, and Spencer took that as a yes. Fifteen minutes later, the two girls were sitting at a corner table with food in front of them.

                “Wouldn’t you rather be with Caleb right now?” Hanna asked sarcastically, picking at her pasta.

                “I broke up with him,” Spencer said flatly. Hanna’s eyes snapped up.

                “What?”

                “I know about the kiss,” she said, trying to keep the accusation out of her voice. Hanna sighed.

                “I’m sorry, Spence. But I already told Caleb that it didn’t mean anything. I’m not looking to get back together with him. And he has nothing to do with why I broke up with Jordan,” Hanna said honestly. Spencer shook her head.              

                “I’m not mad at you, Han. But I don’t want to be with someone who’s in love with someone else. But Hanna… Why did you break up with Jordan?” she asked. Hanna sighed again.

                “I was kidnapped, Spencer. And the things that happened in there… How am I supposed to explain what happened? What am I supposed to tell him?” she asked desperately, tears welling up in her eyes.

                “You could tell him the truth,” Spencer suggested weakly. Hanna rolled her eyes.

                “I can’t tell him, and you know it. Besides, he wouldn’t understand, even if I did tell him. Things like this don’t happen in his world,” she said.

                “I might be able to understand,” Spencer said softly. Hanna shook her head, and stabbed her fork into a piece of chicken.

                “I am scared every second of every day, Spencer. I can’t sleep without having nightmares of being back in that place. I can still feel the things he did to me. You don’t understand that. You can’t. I don’t want you to,” Hanna whispered. Spencer sighed and reached out to take her friend’s hand.

                “I understand what it’s like to be scared, and to have nightmares. I might not understand exactly what you went through, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be here for you,” Spencer insisted.

                “Why would you even want to be here for me? I ruined your relationship,” Hanna said, self-loathing in her voice.

                “It’s not your fault, Han. And you’re my best friend. We stick together, no matter what,” she reminded her.

                “Thanks, Spence,” Hanna said softly.

                “Do you want to come stay with me? You might sleep better if you’re not alone,” she suggested. Hanna gave her a hopeful look.

                “Won’t I be in the way?” she asked. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “Don’t worry you won’t be in the way. There’s always room for you,” she promised.

                “I-I’d really appreciate that,” Hanna said, giving her friend a hesitant smile. Spencer smiled widely and gave a happy nod.

                “Good. I’ll go pay this bill, and then we can stop by the loft to get some of your clothes. If you want, we can go back to the barn and watch a movie or something,” she said. Hanna pulled out her purse and started taking out some money.

                “Here, I think this is enough to cover mine,” she said, holding out a twenty dollar bill. Spencer shook her head, refusing the cash.

                “No, no, it’s my treat,” Spencer insisted. Hanna opened her mouth to argue, but Spencer walked away. Hanna sighed, and put away her money.

                “Are you ready?” Spencer asked a minute later. Hanna nodded.

                “Yeah. Thanks for lunch. You didn’t have to buy it,” she said. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “I know I didn’t _have_ to. I wanted to. You can buy next time,” she offered. Hanna felt a weight lift off her chest. Spencer wanted there to be a next time.

“Now come on. Let’s go home.”


	4. Come Here, Let Me Fix It--Spanna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanna

                Hanna stepped out of the bathroom, pulling the robe closer around her body. Despite running the water hot enough that it nearly burned her skin, she felt cold.

                “How does it feel to be clean?” Emily asked, trying to sound optimistic. Hanna shrugged.

                “I wouldn’t know,” she said flatly. Emily’s face fell.

                “Oh. Well, I’m going to go to work. Call me later, Spence,” she said. Spencer nodded, and Emily walked out the door, leaving the two women alone. Despite living together, it was the first time they’d been alone together when one of them wasn’t asleep, or pretending to be.

                “I could help with that,” Hanna offered, watching Spencer scrub the floor. The brunette glanced over.

                “I’ve got it,” she said dismissively. Hanna sighed.

                “Spence, please can we try to move past this?” she asked pleadingly. Spencer threw a dirty paper towel into the trash can.

                “How can we just move past this? How am I supposed to move past the fact that my girlfriend kissed her ex-boyfriend?” she asked angrily. Hanna looked down at her lap, shame coloring her face.

                “I didn’t mean to...” she whispered.

                “What, you just accidently smashed your lips together?” Spencer asked sarcastically.

                “I was scared, Spence! I was scared, and he was there, and he kissed me! But it didn’t mean anything, I swear!”

                Spencer rolled her eyes angrily.

                “You were scared and he was there. Maybe you should be with him if he’s the one you turn to for comfort,” she snapped.

                “I don’t want to be with him! I want to be with you!” Hanna exclaimed.

                “You have a funny way of showing it,” Spencer retorted. Angry tears filled Hanna’s eyes.

                “Every single second I was in that place, I was thinking about you. I wasn’t thinking about the pain, or how afraid I was, or anything else besides you. And how much I regretted that the last person I kissed before I died would be Caleb. If I could go back and change that night, I would do it in a heartbeat. I would push him away, slap him, yell at him, whatever. But I can’t go back. So I need to know if you’re going to go forward with me,” she said, swallowing heavily.

Spencer sat back on her heels. This was the most Hanna had talked about what had happened to her in that place.

“Why was he even the one there? I would have been right there next to you, but you wouldn’t let me,” Spencer said in a whisper. Hanna sighed.

“Because I didn’t know what was going to happen. I didn’t know if our plan would work, or if AD would manage to get in anyway and kill me on the spot. But I did know that if you were there, if you were in that room, you never would have left me alone. Am I wrong?” she asked softly. Spencer didn’t respond.

“Am I wrong?” Hanna repeated. Spencer groaned and threw her cleaning supplies to the side.

“Of course you’re not wrong! I never should have agreed to that plan! It was terrible from the beginning, and look where it left us! I should have been there!” she cried, hunching over as sobs overtook her body.

“That’s what you’re really mad about, isn’t it? You’re not mad that Caleb kissed me, you’re mad that you weren’t there,” Hanna murmured to herself.

“I should have been there. I should have protected you!”

Hanna walked over to her girlfriend and tried to put a hand on her shoulder, but Spencer flinched away. Hanna stepped back, hurt.

“It wasn’t your fault, Spence. What happened to me… It wasn’t your fault,” Hanna said softly, feeling guilty. She’d been so wrapped up in her own pain, she hadn’t realized how much Spencer had been hurting.

“I don’t blame you,” she whispered.

“You should,” Spencer said, biting back a sob.

“It wasn’t your fault. And you couldn’t have stopped me. Once I came up with the idea, I wasn’t going to stop. I wanted to end this so we could get back to our lives. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I need to finish cleaning the floor,” Spencer said, swiping her hand across her face. Hanna sighed.

“Your dress is ripped,” she said, pointing to a burst seam.

“Damn it. I love this dress,” Spencer said, feeling irrational tears popping into her eyes. Hanna rolled her eyes.

“Come here. Let me fix it,” she said. Spencer shook her head.

“It’s fine. I’ll deal with it later,” she said. Hanna sighed again.

“Spencer, take off the dress,” she ordered before disappearing into the bedroom. When she returned a second later with a t-shirt and her sewing kit, she was pleasantly surprised to find Spencer sitting on the couch, the dress held up to her chest.

“I’m not wearing a bra,” she muttered.

“I know. That’s why I brought this,” Hanna said, handing her the t-shirt. Spencer accepted it, and pulled it over her head.

“It’s just a little tear at the seams. Easy peasy,” Hanna commented, threading a needle. Spencer watched in fascination as her girlfriend made quick work of the rip. In less than five minutes, she had the dress looking good as new, save for the mud it was covered with.

“There. Fixed,” she said, handing the dress back to Spencer.

“Thanks,” Spencer said softly. The blonde gave her a small smile.

“You have no idea how many rips I’ve sewn for Claudia,” she said. The two fell into a silence that wasn’t quite as uncomfortable as before.

“I really am sorry, Spence,” Hanna said a few minutes later. Spencer nodded.

“I know. And I’m sorry too. For everything,” she said. Hanna bit her tongue, resisting the urge to tell Spencer she didn’t have anything to apologize for.

“I should finish cleaning the floor,” Spencer said finally, moving away from the couch. Hanna reached out to grab her wrist, and was relieved when Spencer didn’t pull away.

“Can I help?” she asked. Spencer gave a quick nod, and the two quickly finished cleaning the mud off of the floor. Once they finished, Hanna risked kissing Spencer.

“What happened wasn’t your fault. You saved me, Spence,” she said gently. Spencer wrapped her arms around her girlfriend.

“Come to bed with me,” was all the brunette said in response.


	5. I'll Walk You Home--Spanna

“Are you sure you can’t stay?” Spencer asked. Hanna groaned and nuzzled her face into Spencer’s shoulder.

“You know Jordan will get suspicious if I don’t come home,” she reminded her. Spencer rolled her eyes at the mention of Hanna’s boyfriend.

“When are you going to break up with him? He’s an ass,” Spencer grumbled. Hanna stiffened, sat up and started to stand, a scowl on her face.

“I’m sorry, Han, don’t get mad. Just stay a little bit longer,” Spencer pleaded. Hanna sighed and sat back on the bed. When Spencer laced their fingers together, she didn’t protest.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” she said, almost to herself more than to Spencer. 

“I’m only in town for two more nights. Are you sure you can’t stay?” she repeated, ignoring the other woman’s words. It was something Hanna said every time they did this, but it had never stopped them before. The blonde considered the proposition. 

“You know I want to, but I can’t…”

“Why not? Would Jordan honestly protest if you spent the night with your best friend who’s only in town for a couple of days?” she asked. Hanna sighed again, aware that she was going to have permanent frown lines in her forehead at the rate she was going.

“No, he wouldn’t,” she admitted.

“Then why do you have to go?” Spencer whined. 

“Because! Don’t you get how hard this is for me? You’re the only thing I can think about! I’m engaged, Spencer! And if I stay tonight, I don’t know how I’m going to leave in the morning,” she finished in a whisper.

“So don’t,” Spencer said softly. Hanna shook her head.

“I can’t, Spence. Besides, I don’t see you leaving Toby,” she pointed out. 

“Toby and I broke up two months ago,” Spencer admitted quietly. Hanna’s eyebrows shot up. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked. Spencer shrugged. It was a question she’d been asking herself for two months. By all accounts, she should have told Hanna. She deserved to know that the person she’d been hooking up with was single, and wanted to be more than a hook up. 

“Spence, I want to be with you. You know I do. But Jordan… He’s my fiancé. And he didn’t do anything wrong. I can’t just leave him without an explanation,” she argued.

“And being with me isn’t enough of an explanation?” Spencer asked, suddenly fearful of the answer. Hanna groaned.

“Are you willing to tell your parents that we’re in a relationship?” she asked. Spencer didn’t say anything.

“I guess that’s my answer. I have to go, before Jordan starts to worry,” Hanna said angrily. Spencer watched as the blonde threw on her clothes and grabbed her purse.

“I’ll see you later, Spence,” she said. Spencer jumped off the bed and grabbed her wrist, desperate not to end the night the way it was.

“Wait, Han, hold on. I’ll walk you home,” she said. Hanna rolled her eyes.

“I’m the one who lives here, remember? I can walk home alone.”

“Please, Han, I’m sorry. About everything. I don’t want to end the night like this. Let me get dressed, and I’ll walk you home. Please.”

“And be responsible for you getting lost on your way home? No way,” she said, though Spencer could tell she was wearing her down.

“I’ll take a cab back,” she suggested. Hanna arched an eyebrow.

“You’re going to take a cab four blocks?” she asked. Spencer groaned in frustration.

“Would you just let me walk you home, damn it?” she asked. 

“Fine. But you have to kiss me goodbye here,” Hanna relented. Spencer didn’t need any encouragement. None of their problems were solved, but at least for a couple of seconds, the rest of the world disappeared.


	6. Have a Good Day at Work--Sparia

                _Beep. Beep. Beeeep._ Spencer Hastings groaned and resisted the urge to hit snooze. Five am was way too early to wake up, but her boss was insisting that she be in by six. Most people thought Spencer would be a morning person, but that was more Melissa territory. She turned over, hoping for a quick snuggle with her girlfriend before getting up, but was puzzled by the empty space next to her.

                “Aria?” she called.

                “I’m in the kitchen!” Aria replied. Spencer pulled on a pair of shorts that had been discarded on the floor and went to join her girlfriend in the kitchen. She raised an eyebrow at the sight in front of her.

                “What are you doing?” she asked in amusement.

                “I’m making you breakfast. I know it’s a big day for you at work, and I knew you’d probably skip breakfast since it’s so early,” she explained. Spencer’s heart warmed as she was reminded again why she adored this woman.

                “You are amazing,” she said. Aria smiled.

                “Go take a shower. This will be ready when you get out,” she said. Not needing any more encouragement, Spencer hopped in the shower and rushed through her morning routine. By the time she returned to the kitchen, Aria was plating breakfast.

                “Eggs, bacon, and pancakes. Enjoy,” she said, pushing a plate in front of Spencer. The brunette smiled as she inhaled the scent of bacon.

                “You didn’t have to do this,” she said. Aria shrugged.

                “Just because I don’t eat meat doesn’t mean I won’t cook it for you now and then,” she said. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “I didn’t mean that, though I do appreciate it. I meant you didn’t have to do any of it. I know how much you hate to get up before eight. I could have just grabbed a banana on my way,” she said. Aria smiled and poured Spencer a cup of coffee.

                “I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to. Besides, you’re not going to win over this client by eating a banana for breakfast. It’s the most important meal of the day, you know,” she joked. Spencer rolled her eyes again.

                “Be careful or you’re going to end up with screwed up eyes for your big meeting,” Aria warned. Spencer resisted the urge to roll her eyes again.

                “You’re such a mom sometimes,” she said. Aria snorted.

                “So tell me again about this client and why it’s so important for you to go in at this ungodly hour,” she said.

                “ _Potential_ client,” Spencer reminded her. “He’s suing one of the biggest pharmaceutical companies in the United States. They’re responsible for putting an under-tested drug on the market, which led to over five hundred deaths.”

                “But why the six a.m. meeting?” Aria asked, cutting off Spencer before she could go into the nitty gritty boring details. Spencer raised an eyebrow, knowing exactly what her girlfriend was doing.

                “He’s not in the US right now. The pharmaceutical company threatened him, and he thinks they’re the ones who ran him off the road a couple months ago. He left the country after that. Anyway, since my boss is trying to woo the guy, we’re working on his schedule,” she explained. Aria frowned.

                “Is this safe? If this company is willing to try to kill someone to keep their secret…” she trailed off, thinking back to the days of dealing with A. Spencer shook her head.

                “Honestly, I think the guy’s paranoid. I’m sure they did threaten him, but I doubt they actually tried to kill him. It was probably just some accident, and he’s making things up in his head. The company has so much money, they don’t need to worry about one guy suing them.”

                Aria’s frown deepened.

                “I don’t understand. Why is your boss so eager to get this client?” she asked.

                “It would bring in a lot of money, and according to her, it wouldn’t be much work. She’s convinced that the company will settle almost immediately.”

                “Who is this client? If he’s suing for damages how does he have so much money to pay you with?” Aria asked.

                “Without all of the lawyer mumbo jumbo?” Spencer asked. Aria nodded.

                “I don’t actually know who the client is yet. It’s been top secret. But apparently, he’s loaded.”

                Aria still wasn’t sure if she understood completely, but she decided not to ask. Noticing Spencer’s plate was empty, she picked it up and put it in the sink.

                “I have to get ready to go. Thank you so much for making breakfast,” Spencer said, kissing Aria on the cheek. The short brunette raised an eyebrow.

                “I got up before five and all I get is a kiss on the cheek?” she asked, pretending to pout. Spencer laughed and kissed her lips.

                “I’ll thank you later properly,” she promised. Aria wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

                “You look ridiculous when you do that,” Spencer told her. Aria laughed.

                “What time do you think you’ll be home?” she asked. Spencer shrugged, checking her briefcase to make sure she had all of the necessary documents.

                “Hopefully by six. I’ll call if it’s going to be later than that. I thought I’d bring home takeout, if it’s all right with you,” she said.

                “Sure, Chinese?” she asked. Spencer nodded.

                “What are you doing today?”

                “Well, as soon as you leave, I’m going back to bed. I have a meeting with my editor at one, and then I planned to spend the rest of the afternoon writing,” she said. Spencer nodded, mostly to herself.

                “All right. Well, I have to go, so you can go back to bed now, sleepyhead. I’ll see you later,” she said, kissing her girlfriend goodbye. Aria rolled her eyes.

                “You’d be in bed too if you had the option,” she muttered. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

                “What was that?” she asked in mock anger. Aria gave her an innocent look, her eyes going wider than usual.

                “Have a good day at work! I’ll see you later!”

                With one final eye roll, Spencer left for work, wishing she could fast forward through the rest of her day until she could get home to give her girlfriend a proper thank you.


	7. I Dreamt About You Last Night--Spanna

                “I dreamt about you last night,” Hanna said softly, her rubbing circles on Spencer’s bare collarbone. The brunette frowned, looking down at the girl in her arms who had refused to look her in the eye.

                “Is that why you came here?” she asked carefully, anxious not to upset the blonde. Hanna shrugged, and one of the burns littering her body glistened in the moonlight. Ever since Hanna had shown up on her doorstep, she’d wondered why she’d chosen her. Hanna had immediately apologized for kissing Caleb—a kiss Spencer hadn’t even known about—before noticing the room full of people. Her face had turned red, and Spencer had ushered her out to the barn, not giving their friends a chance to ogle Hanna’s nearly naked body. She’d fussed over Hanna’s injuries, helped her into sweats, and made her tea, all without questioning why the blonde had chosen to come to her house. While Hanna talked to Aria, Emily, and Mona, Spencer had pulled Caleb into the other room and broken up with him. He hardly even seemed to care, and Spencer had been glad when Hanna asked if she could kick everyone else out. When Hanna asked in a small voice if she could stay with Spencer, she hadn’t hesitated to say yes. Still, she wondered why Hanna chose her.

                “Do you want to talk about your dream?” Spencer asked, wondering if Hanna had had some sort of weird sex dream about her.

                “You were in that room with me. You said if there was a way in, there was a way out. You saved me,” she said. Spencer didn’t know what to say to that.

                “Are you mad at me?” Hanna asked.

                “For dreaming about me?” Spencer asked, though she knew that wasn’t what the blonde meant.

                “No, for kissing Caleb,” she clarified. Spencer didn’t answer, and Hanna started to get up, suddenly feeling incredibly guilty for seeking comfort from the friend she’d just betrayed.

                “I’m not mad at you,” Spencer said, grabbing Hanna’s wrist. Hanna winced and pulled her wrist away, and Spencer remembered the rope burns she’d seen earlier.

                “Sorry,” she said. Hanna shook her head.

                “I’m fine.”

                “You were scared. You wanted comfort. Whatever. It’s fine,” she lied, jumping back to the Caleb topic.

                “No, it’s not. And I swear it didn’t mean anything. Maybe I thought I still loved him, but I don’t.”              

                Spencer didn’t point out that Hanna had spent the last several weeks trying to convince her that she didn’t still love Caleb.

                “When I was in there, and I was hurt and scared, and I really needed comfort, I didn’t dream about Caleb. I dreamt about you,” she said.

                “What are you saying?” Spencer asked, though she thought she knew the answer.

                “I’m saying that when A was torturing me, I was thinking about you,” she said.

                “You were feeling guilty about kissing Caleb,” Spencer reasoned, trying to convince herself Hanna hadn't wanted to kiss Caleb.

                “You seriously think I was thinking about feeling guilty when A had a cattle prod set to high?” she asked. Spencer flinched.

                “No. I guess you weren’t,” she admitted.

                “You’re the only person I wanted to see,” Hanna said. Spencer’s breath caught in her throat as Hanna looked up at her for the first time. The moonlight trickling through the window illuminated Hanna’s face, pale save for a couple of bruises. Even with the bruises, she was beautiful as ever.

                “You have a fiancé,” Spencer reminded her softly. Hanna wrinkled her nose.

                “He won’t want me when he sees how damaged I am,” she said.

                “You’re not damaged. You’re perfect,” Spencer said. Hanna snorted.

                “See, that’s why I dreamt of you and not Jordan. I can’t be his trophy wife anymore, Spence. He won’t want me like this,” she said. Spencer struggled with what she wanted to say and how it might affect her friendship.

                “I want you,” Spencer whispered breathlessly.

                “Yeah, I want you too,” Hanna whispered back, equally breathless.

                “I’m going to kiss you,” Spencer said, wanting to give Hanna a chance to back out. Hanna’s lips were on hers before she could make the first move. Too quickly, Spencer pulled away.

                “Han, I don’t want you to make any hasty decisions right now. You’re hurt, and you’re afraid of how Jordan is going to react. Give it a couple of days,” she said. Hanna raised an eyebrow.

                “Like you did with Caleb?” she asked. Spencer grimaced.

                “That was different. I don’t want to be with someone who’s in love with someone else,” she said.

                “And I don’t want to be with someone who’s in love with someone who doesn’t exist,” Hanna countered.

                “Jordan loves you,” Spencer said. Hanna shook her head.

                “No, he loves who he thinks I am. Do you remember that first night we were back, when Aria asked how I knew when it was time to tell someone about our past?” she asked. Spencer nodded.

                “I said when it’s ready, you know. And I guess that’s true. But I never told Jordan.”

                Spencer frowned.

                “You didn’t tell him about the dollhouse?” she asked. Hanna shook her head.

                “I didn’t tell him about the dollhouse, about being arrested, about anything,” she admitted. Spencer’s frown deepened.

                “Why did he think you came here?” she asked.

                “He thinks we came here to support Alison, which we did,” she said, blushing.

                “Oh, Han. You really didn’t tell him anything? You’re engaged!” Spencer exclaimed. Hanna sighed.

                “Yeah, I know. And I meant to tell him… I just never knew how. And after this… I don’t know how I can be with someone I can’t share these things with,” she said. Spencer cupped Hanna’s cheek.

                “Hanna, you only feel this way about me because you had a dream,” she said, voicing her fears. Hanna shook her head.

                “No, I had the dream because I already felt this way. I trust you, Spence. More than anyone else. And I want to be with you,” she said. Spencer sighed.

                “I want to be with you too. After you break up with Jordan.”

                Hanna groaned, but didn’t protest. She understood Spencer’s reasoning.

                “Sleep, Hanna. You need it,” Spencer said. Hanna curled up closer to Spencer and closed her eyes.

                That night she had a different sort of dream about Spencer.


	8. Take My Seat--Haria

                Aria Montgomery hated trains. Ever since being locked in a coffin on that Halloween train, she had hated them. Actually, hate wasn’t even the right word. They terrified her. Over the years, her phobia had extended to subways and metros, anything that reminded her of a train. And she’d successfully avoided her fears. Until now. Now she was waiting to catch the train with her girlfriend of three months. Despite everything they’d been through together, Aria had never told Hanna about her fear of trains. She knew Hanna wouldn’t think it was silly, but she couldn’t help herself. She didn’t want her pity. So when the blonde had told her they needed to take the train somewhere, she had pretended the idea didn’t make her want to piss her pants.

                “Are you okay?” Hanna asked, noticing her girlfriend’s unusually pale face. The brunette nodded and smiled too widely, trying to cover up her racing heart.

                “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” she asked. Hanna could think of a million different reasons one of them might be upset on any given day, but she refrained from mentioning any of them. The train finally arrived and the two girls got on. There was only one empty seat, but Aria didn’t mind standing.

                Everything was okay for a few minutes. Hanna was yapping away about something, and Aria focused on listening to her. Then suddenly the train stopped and the lights went out. Aria felt her chest tighten and she couldn’t breathe.

                “Take my seat,” Hanna whispered in Aria’s ear, immediately noticing her distress. The small woman went into autopilot, allowing her girlfriend to trade spots. Hanna knelt down in front of her, putting her hands on Aria’s knees.

                “It’s just a little power problem. It happens sometimes. Everything’s okay. In a minute we’ll be moving again,” Hanna soothed. Aria tried to focus on her girlfriend’s words, but was distracted by the sound of someone crying loudly. She was relieved that she wasn’t the only person scared by the power outage.

                True to Hanna’s words, the lights flickered back on a couple of minutes later. And to her surprise and horror, Aria realized that she had been the one crying. Everyone on the train was staring at her.

                “Mind your own damn business,” Hanna snapped, glaring at the people until they turned away, blushing in embarrassment at being called out.

                “Are you okay?” she asked softly, turning her attention back to Aria. The brunette was still shaking.

                “I’m sorry,” Aria muttered. Hanna shook her head, wiping away her girlfriend’s tears.

                “You don’t have to apologize. It’s okay. What happened?” she asked.

                “I… I really don’t like trains. Not since the Halloween train,” she admitted. Hanna’s eyebrows creased together in concern.

                “Why did you let me drag you here?” she asked. Aria shrugged.

                “I didn’t want you to laugh at me or think I’m a baby,” Aria whispered. Hanna raised an eyebrow.

                “Honey, you’re talking to the girl who still has a nightlight. I would never laugh at your or think you’re a baby,” Hanna reminded her. Aria blushed. She’d become so accustomed to the nightlight in Hanna’s room that she didn’t even notice it anymore.

                “I should have told you,” she said. Hanna nodded.

                “You should have. But it’s okay. We’re getting off in a minute,” she said. Aria threaded their fingers together.

                “Thank you for giving me your seat,” she whispered. Hanna gave her a dazzling smile.

                “Any time.”


	9. I Saved a Piece for You--Spanna

Spencer Hastings was exhausted. It was Aria's birthday, and the five girls were supposed to get together and celebrate. Instead, Spencer had spent the day at work. It was the only day they were going to get this witness in, and her co-worker had called in sick. The idea make Spencer roll her eyes. The woman was probably hung-over, but whatever. Either way, it fell on her to get the job done. 

Now she was finally on her way home, and it was already eleven thirty according to the clock on her dashboard. She groaned. Hanna was going to be furious with her for missing the entire party. It had been the blonde's idea for all of them to get together, and she'd worked tirelessly to plan the party. And Spencer would have been home sooner if the stupid train from Philly to Rosewood hadn't been late. 

Finally, she pulled into her driveway. Her parents had been more than happy to let her and Hanna stay there for a few days while Emily and Alison were in town. While it was easy for Aria, who lived in Rosewood, and Spencer and Hanna, who lived in Philly, to get together, it was a lot harder to visit the other two, who had moved to Florida a year ago. 

Spencer tiptoed into the barn, and wasn't surprised to find Hanna asleep on the couch. It appeared as though her wife had started to clean up and given up halfway through. Quietly, Spencer walked over to the couch and put a hand on Hanna's arm.

"Babe, do you want to move to the bed?" she asked. Hanna groaned, and pulled a pillow over her head. Spencer rolled her eyes and left to change her clothes. She was in the middle of taking off her makeup when Hanna stumbled into the bedroom.

"How was the party?" she asked. 

"Alison made a cake," she said, practically falling into bed. Once again, Spencer silently cursed her coworker for making her miss this party. One of the things they’d learned about Alison during that time after Charlotte died was that the girl made excellent cake. She claimed it was an old Italian family recipe, and she never shared it with anyone.

"I'm glad it was fun," she said, trying to keep the jealously out of her voice. Hanna smirked at her.

"It was. You should've been there," she said. Spencer sighed, trying to figure out if her wife was just teasing or if she really was mad.

"You know I had to go in today. I didn't want to, but--"

"I saved a piece for you," Hanna interrupted. 

"Of cake," she clarified, noticing Spencer's confused expression. A smile spread across Spencer's face as she joined her wife in bed.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around Hanna. The blonde giggled and pushed her wife off of her.

"You're welcome, you dork. I figured your day would be hellish, and you could use a surprise," she said. Spencer nodded and laid her head on Hanna's chest.

"It was hellish. I don't even want to talk about this case. It's terrible," she said gloomily. Hanna ran her fingers through Spencer's long hair, trying to help the brunette relax. Being a lead prosecutor often made Spencer stressed out, but something about the case she was working on made her even jumpier than usual. She'd refused to tell Hanna anything about it, so the blonde only knew what had been reported to the press. She knew the case involved kidnapped girls, but she usually turned off the tv when it was being reported on, to avoid flashbacks. Which, of course, was why Spencer wouldn’t tell her about it.

"Do you have to go in tomorrow?" she asked. Spencer shook her head.

"Good. We're having brunch with the girls before Ali and Em have to catch their plane," she said. Spencer smiled.

"Thank you," she said, knowing it was probably Hanna's idea. Her wife kissed the top of her head.

"You're welcome. Now go to sleep, or you'll be falling asleep in your mimosa tomorrow," Hanna joked. Spencer rolled her eyes, but knew she'd be asleep within minutes. 

That night, instead of the criminals and victims that usually flooded her dreams, she dreamt of cake.

 


	10. I'm Sorry for Your Loss--Haria

Hanna Marin had vowed to never step foot in Rosewood again. After everything with Charlotte in high school, and then again five years later, she had sworn she would never return to this stupid town. Her friends understood that the town held too many bad memories, memories of being kidnapped and tortured, of killing Rollins, of everything. Her mother didn't understand, but had stopped questioning her and accepted that she had to be the one to visit her daughter. But there was only one person who knew the full reason she left town so quickly. That person, and in fact that reason, was Aria.

The last time Hanna had been in Rosewood had been for Aria's wedding. No matter how much time passed, she couldn’t get the memory out of her head.

“How do I look?” Aria asked, nervously running her hands over the bodice of her dress. Hanna stared at her best friend, who by all accounts looked gorgeous. She opened her mouth to say so, but the compliment didn’t come out.

“Don’t marry him,” she whispered instead. Aria’s smile dropped.

“What?”

“Please, Aria. Don’t do this. Don’t marry him,” Hanna begged. Aria’s eyes turned to ice. 

“Excuse me?” 

Instead of answering, Hanna stepped forward and kissed Aria. The brunette’s eyes widened in surprise. Then, without a word, she walked out the door.

After Aria walked out of the back room and said "I do", Hanna had left town and never looked back. 

In the years since, she'd seen her friends often. They'd all realized that being away from each other was too painful to repeat. So she'd seen Aria, but only in the company of their friends. Never, ever alone. And certainly not in the exact same church where her friend had once broken her heart.

Hanna didn't get a chance to talk to Aria until the service was over. Or maybe she had, and she'd just avoided it. After all, she'd been sitting three seats away from the woman. Unable to come up with a reason to avoid her, Hanna steeled herself and took a deep breath, preparing to go over to her friend. To her surprise, Aria beat her to it. 

"Hey. Can I sit?" the brunette asked quietly. Her eyes were rimmed red. Hanna nodded and scooted over to make room.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Hanna replied sincerely. And she was, terribly, terribly sorry. She never would have wished for Ezra to die from a heart attack at thirty-five, leaving behind a six month pregnant wife. 

"I wasn't sure if you'd come," Aria said, her voice hoarse from crying. Hanna frowned. Did her friend truly think she was spiteful enough to skip something this important?

"I meant because I know how much you hate Rosewood," Aria clarified, noticing the look on Hanna's face. The blonde sighed.

"Of course I'm here, Ar. I’m always here for you," she said, even though she knew she hadn’t been there for Aria in years.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," Aria whispered. Hanna's eyebrows furrowed together.

"About what?" she asked. Aria sighed and wiped away tears.

"I can't go back to the apartment. I've been staying with my parents since it happened, but I have to get out. They keep treating me like I’m made out of glass, and I can’t stand it anymore. I just don't know where to go," she admitted. Hanna waited, sensing there was more to come.

"Spencer offered to let me come stay with her, but she has Toby and the twins to think about. She doesn't need me and a baby getting in the way." 

"So come stay with me in New York. I have the space," Hanna offered. Aria shook her head quickly.

"I couldn't ask you for that," she said. Hanna reached out and took her friend's hand.

"You’re not asking, I’m offering. You're right, Spencer and Toby have the twins, Emily and Paige live in a shoebox, and you can't stay with your parents forever. I'm alone in an apartment big enough for five. Just think about," she said. Aria hesitated.

"I promise I won't make things weird. I know I haven't been the greatest friend the last few years..." Hanna trailed off, mistaking the reason for Aria’s hesitation.

"Neither have I," Aria cut her off. 

"But that's in the past. You need a place to stay and I could use some company. Besides, this little one is going to be so spoiled by her Auntie Hanna, we might as well start now," she said, putting a hand on Aria's stomach. On cue, the baby kicked. Aria smiled for the first time since she came home to her husband's body. 

"She hasn’t kicked since Ezra died. How can I say no when this one is saying yes?" she asked. Hanna smiled back.

"It's settled then. You'll come live with me,” Hanna said. Aria nodded. 

“Han?” Aria started quietly. 

“Yeah?”

“The things you said… What you did… You should know it wasn’t unreciprocated,” Aria whispered, admitting the truth aloud for the first time. Hanna’s heart clenched. How many times had she longed to hear those words? It had been all she wanted.

“But I can’t think about that right now,” Aria finished. Hanna nodded.

“Ar, I’d never ask you to. You’re my best friend, above everything else. I promise,” Hanna said. Aria offered her a small smile.

“Thank you. Will you come… Do you think you could help me pack?” she asked. 

“Of course I will,” she said. Standing up, she offered Aria her hand. Without hesitation, Aria accepted.


	11. You Can Have Half--Spanna

It was a quiet September day, cool but not cold, and everything should have been perfect. Should have, but wasn't. Because Tom Marin had decided it was time for him to meet his daughter's girlfriend. Hanna had tried to protest, pointing out that he'd already met Spencer. She had reminded her mom that he hadn't visited her in jail or in the hospital once, so why should she have to go see him? Voices had been raised, tears had been shed, and it wasn't until Spencer had laid a reassuring hand on Hanna's that the blonde agreed. 

Which was how the two girls found themselves sitting at a table with Tom, Isabel, and Kate. When Hanna had seen the two women, she'd wanted to walk out then and there, but Spencer had quietly reminded her that it was just one dinner, and she’d be there the entire time. 

A half hour into dinner, Tom had already bragged about Kate going to Dartmouth three times, and made quips about Hanna's weight twice. Spencer could tell her girlfriend was near tears, and she wanted to kill both Tom and Ashley Marin. How dare Tom treat his daughter this way? How dare Ashley force Hanna to do this dinner? After Tom's cruel remark about Hanna being his 'little piggy', she had only ordered a salad and water, and refused to touch the bread. She had picked at the salad, her eyes darting around to everyone else's plates. Finally Spencer had had enough. She knew that Hanna was hungry, she hadn't eaten since breakfast, and she didn't need to worry about what her asshole dad thought.

"This sandwich is so good, but I had a huge lunch. Do you want to share? You can have half," she offered. Hanna's eyes widened.

"S-sure," she said. Spencer smiled widely and transferred half of her sandwich to Hanna's plate. To her delight, Hanna took a bite. Spencer reached for her girlfriend's hand under the table and wasn't surprised to find it shaking. 

“So, Spencer, where will you be going this fall?” Isabel asked politely.

“Oh, uh, Georgetown. In DC,” she said. Tom nodded.

“Good school,” he said.

“What about you, Hanna?” Isabel asked. Spencer had to give the woman credit. She was trying harder to make conversation than Tom.

“I, um, haven’t decided yet,” Hanna admitted. “I'm waiting a semester to start.”

Spencer turned to her girlfriend, questions in her eyes, but Hanna didn’t elaborate, and Spencer knew better than to ask in front of Tom. After that, the rest of the night passed quickly, if awkwardly. Still, the check couldn't come soon enough for anyone. Tom gave the two girls a nod and left with his family, not even hugging Hanna goodbye. Once they were out of sight, Hanna sat on a bench and burst into tears.

"Oh, baby," Spencer said softly, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend. 

"Why am I never enough?" she sobbed. Spencer rubbed her back gently, trying to calm her down.

"He's the one who isn't enough," she said. Hanna didn’t respond.

“When did you decide you might wait a semester to start college?” Spencer asked carefully, reluctant to upset the girl further. Hanna sighed.

“When I realized no one wants to give a scholarship to an ex-criminal,” she said. Spencer rolled her eyes.

“That was overturned,” she reminded her. Hard to be an accessory to murder when the person you were accused of killing was alive.

“Doesn’t matter. I need money. Besides, I don’t even know where I want to go,” she said. Spencer thought for a moment before speaking.

“Come to DC with me. We’ll get an apartment,” she said. Hanna raised an eyebrow.

“Seriously?” she asked. Spencer nodded, and for the first time all day, Hanna smiled. For a while, the girls sat in a comfortable silence.

"Thanks for sharing your sandwich, by the way. That was really sweet of you," Hanna said a few minutes later. Spencer kissed the top of Hanna's head.

"I hate that he makes you feel like you can’t order dinner or eat in front of him," she said. Hanna shrugged.

"I guess he only really knew me as Hefty Hanna," she said. Spencer closed her eyes, willing herself not to go kill Ali for ever inventing that nickname. 

"That's not true, and even if it was, it's no excuse," Spencer said, her voice tight. Hanna sighed.

"Are your parents home? Can we go over to your place?" she asked. Spencer nodded.

"Let's go home," she said, excited that in a few short months they might have a place of their own called ‘home’.

 


	12. Take My Jacket, It's Cold Outside--Sparia

Aria walked down the street, hands in her pockets, thinking about the terrible fight she'd just had with her girlfriend. In their five year relationship and ten year friendship, she was pretty sure this was the worst fight they'd ever had. It was one of those fights that had the potential to ruin a relationship. Aria didn't know what she had been thinking. Her company wanted to transfer her to Boston, and for some reason Aria thought it was a good idea to bring it up after what she knew was an incredibly stressful day for Spencer. It had only spiraled downhill from there...

_"Well you told them that you couldn't take it, didn't you?" Spencer asked, pouring a glass of wine. Aria narrowed her eyes._

_"I told them I needed to think about it," she said. Spencer frowned, twirling her fork around her lo mein. It was another night of Chinese takeout for the couple. Spencer had picked it up on her way home. All she wanted was to have a relaxing dinner with her girlfriend, who was now starting an argument._

_"What's there to think about? We can't move to Boston," Spencer said, trying to make her see reason. Aria took a deep breath, willing herself not to get angry._

_"This is my job, Spence. If I don't transfer to Boston, they're going to fire me," she explained._

_"So I'm supposed to just quit my job so we can move to Boston?" Spencer asked. Aria shook her head, frustrated that her girlfriend wouldn't even look at things from her side._

_"I didn't say that! I just thought we should discuss it before we make a decision!" Aria argued._

_"What's there to discuss?" Spencer asked, growing more and more annoyed with Aria._

_"Maybe we should discuss the fact that you think your job is more important than mine!" she yelled._

_"My job is more important than yours!" Spencer yelled back. At that, Aria slammed her fork onto the table and stood up._

_"Where are you going?" Spencer asked._

_"For a walk," she snapped. Spencer pursed her lips, then sighed._

_"Take my jacket. It's cold outside," she said. Aria rolled her eyes at the sudden concern, but picked up Spencer's jacket on the way out._

In truth, she had known the second her boss opened her mouth that she was going to end up out of a job. Spencer made double what she did, and it would be ridiculous for her to quit so they could move. And honestly, Aria didn’t want to move. She loved New York. She loved that they were only a few blocks away from Hanna’s apartment. She loved everything about the city. But she was furious that Spencer wouldn't even talk about their possibilities. And maybe Spencer's job as district attorney was more important than her small editing job. Still, she wished her girlfriend would just take a minute to think about how difficult this was for her. Regardless of how shitty and underappreciated her job was, it hadn’t been easy for her to get it, and she didn’t relish the thought of sitting around unemployed.

She didn't realize how long she'd been out until she returned home to find the kitchen cleaned and Spencer already in bed. 

Spencer put down the case file she had been reading.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. Aria's eyes snapped up to search her girlfriend's face for any sign of insincerity. There was none. Out of everything she had expected, this was not on the list.

"It's okay," she mumbled. Spencer shook her head.

"I don't think my job is more important than yours," she said. Aria raised an eyebrow.

"Spencer, we both know that your job is more important," she said. Spencer sighed.

"Maybe it terms of the world at large, but not when it comes to how we feel. And it doesn't matter. I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I'm sorry," she repeated. Aria sat down next to her and kissed her.

"I'm sorry too. I lied earlier. I didn't tell my boss I needed to think about it. I told her I couldn't go. Tomorrow's my last day," she admitted. Spencer's eyebrows scrunched together in worry.

"Aria... I'm sorry. You didn't have to make a decision on the spot. We should have discussed it," she said. Aria smiled sadly, the irony of Spencer’s words not lost on her.

"Spence, my life is here. _Our_ life is here. I can get a different job. That one paid shit anyway," she joked. Spencer nodded.

"It really did. And they didn’t appreciate you at all," she agreed. Aria laughed, which made Spencer laugh.

“I hated that job,” she said. Spencer snorted.

"So do you forgive me for being such a bitch earlier?" Spencer asked. Aria nodded.

"Of course, baby."

 


	13. Sorry I'm Late--Sparia

It was a beautiful evening in a beautiful restaurant. By now, they should have been halfway through a bottle of wine and debating dessert. Instead, Aria was sitting alone at the bar, nursing a gin and tonic. She didn’t even like gin, but it seemed appropriate for being stood up on your anniversary. She sighed and glanced at her phone. 7:45, no messages. Their reservation had been for six, and Spencer still hadn't shown up, called, or even sent a text. The bartender walked by, and gave her a pitying smile.

"Would you like a refill?" she asked.  Aria shook her head.

"No thanks," she said. She’d already had the one, and she wanted to keep a clear head in case Spencer ever showed up. She should probably just go home at this point. Spencer had probably forgotten that it was their anniversary and that they had plans. But going home felt like accepting defeat, and Aria wasn’t ready to give up.

Just then, Spencer came rushing into the restaurant. 

"Sorry I'm late," she said breathlessly. Aria's jaw dropped.

"Spencer, what the hell is that?" she asked, staring at a row of stitches on her wife's forehead. Spencer grimaced and sat down at the bar.

"That's why I'm late. There was a teensy tiny car accident," she said, trying to sound nonchalant. Aria's eyes bulged. 

"You were in a car accident and you didn't call me?" she yelled, garnering the attention of several restaurant goers.

"Shh, I'm fine. Just a few stitches and a slight concussion. They fixed me up on the scene. And I’m sorry I didn’t call. My phone died," she explained. Aria closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose. Part of her was relieved Spencer hadn’t forgotten their plans, but the other part of her wished Spencer had forgotten if this was the alternative.  

"Let's go home," she said, sliding her credit card toward the bartender, who took it and disappeared. Spencer frowned.

"But it's our anniversary! We're supposed to celebrate!" Spencer argued. With her and Aria’s busy schedules, they never had time to go out for a fancy dinner, and she’d been looking forward to this all the more for that. Again, she cursed the drunk idiot who had rear ended her going ten miles above the speed limit.

"We can celebrate at home. We can get take out on the way home, and we’ll watch whatever movie you want," Aria offered. Spencer sighed, but didn't protest.

"I really am sorry for being late. I know you were excited," Spencer said, getting into the passenger side of Aria's car.

"Spence, it's not your fault. And I was excited about hanging out with my wife. It doesn't matter where we are. How'd you get here?" she asked, realizing that Spencer’s car wasn’t there. 

"A taxi. My car had to be towed. It's a bit worse off than me," she admitted. Aria shook her head.

"I wish you had used someone else’s phone to call. I would have been there with you," she chastised. Spencer smiled and kissed Aria’s cheek.

"I know. But there wasn't even that much time. It all happened really quickly.”

"Still. I'm glad you're okay. What happened? Is the other driver okay?" she asked. Spencer groaned.

"Ugh, some drunk driver didn’t notice that the light was red and I was stopped in front of him. He just kept right on going. He didn’t have a scratch, of course,” she said. Aria rolled her eyes.

“Of course,” she agreed.

“Anyway, I hit my head on the steering wheel, but other than that I’m fine. However, the medic told me I should be woken up every two hours tonight. I didn’t tell him that I didn’t plan on sleeping much tonight anyway,” she said suggestively. Aria giggled.

“I think I can try to keep you awake,” she agreed.

“Do you have work tomorrow?” Spencer asked, slightly embarrassed that she couldn’t remember. Aria shrugged.

“I’m supposed to get the next section to my editor by tomorrow night, but I was planning to do that from home. Why?” she asked. Spencer shrugged.

“I’m not supposed to go to work tomorrow, and I was wondering if you wanted to play hooky with me,” she explained. Aria blushed, remembering their days of playing hooky in high school and college. It hadn’t happened often—getting Spencer Hastings to skip class was damn near impossible—but when it did, they always had the best times. Spencer would never admit it, but Aria knew that the forbidden had always turned her on.

“Of course I’ll play hooky with you!” she said excitedly. Spencer grinned back.

“Best anniversary gift ever.”

 


	14. Can I Have This Dance?--Paily

Emily was pretty sure this could go down in history as the worst prom ever. It wasn't even a real prom, it was a pity prom their moms threw in Spencer's barn. It was slightly better for the others. Spencer had Toby, Hanna had Caleb, even Aria had Ezra, as weird as that was. But Emily was alone, and feeling left out. She couldn’t believe she’d been turned down by _Sara Harvey_.  After everything she’d done to help the girl, she chose to go to her old school’s prom instead. Not that Emily could even blame her.  Who wanted to go to a pity prom?

Her mom had pointed out that the best part of prom was having fun with friends, which she would be doing, but when your friends were hanging out with their boyfriends it wasn't much fun. The other girls tried to include her, but it was awkward for three people to dance together. She and Aria had looked through pictures of the actual Rosewood High prom, but eventually that had gotten too depressing.

The doorbell rang and Emily jumped off the couch to get it. At least Alison didn't have a date. They could be miserable together.

"I'll get it!" Spencer burst out, practically throwing Emily back on the couch in her haste to beat her to the door. Emily made a face, annoyed that she couldn't even do this. To her growing confusion, Toby came over and pulled her up, starting to dance.

"Why are we dancing?" she asked suspiciously. Toby shrugged.

"Seemed like fun," he said. Emily raised an eyebrow. She knew for a fact that Toby hated dancing. Combined with the fact that Spencer had yet to return from answering the door and Ali hadn't come in yet either was making her wary of their intentions.

"Where'd they go?" she asked, looking Toby straight in the eye. He squirmed under the pressure, making Emily smile inside.

"Taking pictures?" he suggested weakly. Emily's eyebrow nearly reached her hairline at that. Before she could really lay into him, there was a tap on her shoulder.

"Can I have this dance?" a voice from behind Emily asked. Emily spun around. 

"Paige?" she asked, suddenly breathless. Her ex girlfriend was standing in front of her wearing a white tuxedo with black high heels. Her hair was shorter than before, and wavy. Still in shock, Emily put her arms around Paige and started swaying lightly to the music.

"What're you doing here?" she asked, relaxing into the familiar embrace. 

"Spencer called me, actually. She said you guys weren't allowed to go to prom and were throwing your own instead. She thought you'd like it if I was here," she explained.

“Why didn’t you call?” she asked. Paige sighed.

“Em, every time I’ve tried to come back here, you’ve told me not to. I thought if I called about this you’d just say the same thing. I decided to just come without asking,” she explained. Emily nodded slowly, processing the information. She understood Paige’s reasoning. It was true, since her escape from the Dollhouse, she’d talked to Paige a number of times. Every time they talked, Paige offered to come back to Rosewood. And every time, Emily had refused, saying that she was fine. She wasn’t sure why she had refused to let Paige come back to Rosewood. Maybe because she didn’t want her ex to see how traumatized from the Dollhouse, maybe she wanted to keep Paige away from the danger of Rosewood, maybe a combination of both. Emily sighed.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so distant lately,” she said. Paige raised an eyebrow.

“I was distant first,” she pointed out. Emily didn’t reply. It was true, of course. Sure Emily had been distant since her return, but Paige had practically cut her out of her life when she moved to California. Emily took a deep breath. No sense in reopening old wounds. It felt good to be dancing with Paige again, even if it didn’t mean anything changed.

"Do you?" Paige asked quietly, interrupting Emily’s thoughts. Emily frowned.

"Do I what?" she asked. Paige ducked her head nervously.

"Like that I'm here."

A smile crossed Emily's face.

"What have I said about looking away?” she asked huskily. Paige’s eyes flickered up and Emily’s smile widened.

“Yeah. I do. I’m really glad you’re here, Paige," she said honestly. Paige smiled back.

“Me too.”

 


	15. I Made Your Favorite--Spanna

Spencer walked into her apartment and was immediately hit by the scent of spices and cooking. She furrowed her eyebrows, unsure as to the reason her girlfriend might be cooking. It wasn’t a holiday, or an anniversary, or a birthday. She wasn’t sick in bed. And Hanna Marin did not cook without reason. Which led her to the conclusion that the woman was feeling guilty about something.

“Babe? I’m home,” she called. Hanna appeared, wearing an apron that Spencer didn’t even know she owned. Her hair was pulled back into a cute ponytail.

“Spencer! You’re home early!” Hanna exclaimed, giving her a welcome kiss. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

“I’m always home at five thirty,” she said. Hanna’s face scrunched up.

“It’s five thirty? Already?” she asked. Spencer nodded and tried to peek into the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” she asked. Hanna gave her an innocent shrug.

“Cooking,” she answered. “I made your favorite.”

“You don’t cook,” Spencer reminded her. Another innocent shrug.

“Can a girl do something nice for her girlfriend?” she asked. Spencer’s eyebrows raised even further, practically reaching her hairline.

“Yes, and you do nice things for me all the time. But they usually don’t involve cooking,” she pointed out. Hanna’s eager face faltered.

“Maybe I should pour you a glass of wine,” she muttered.

“What did you do?” Spencer asked. Hanna sighed.

“Let’s eat and then we’ll talk,” she suggested. Spencer gave her a dark look.

“Hanna. What. Did. You. Do?” she repeated. Hanna disappeared into the kitchen, only for Spencer to follow her. She watched as the blonde plated two large servings of lasagna, accompanied by garlic bread. She poured two glasses of wine, and placed them on the kitchen table.

“Try it,” Hanna urged, pushing a plate towards Spencer. The brunette rolled her eyes, but took a bite. She had to admit it was surprisingly good.

“Okay, no more pretending that the most you can make is toast,” she said. Hanna laughed, proud of herself.

“It’s your mom’s recipe,” she said. Spencer rolled her eyes again.

“Please, my mom made that lasagna once in her life. It’s my grandmother’s recipe,” Spencer corrected. Hanna shrugged.

“Well, it’s good either way,” she said. Spencer nodded in agreement and took another bite.

“So why exactly are you cooking tonight?” she asked. Hanna bit her bottom lip.

“Please don’t get mad at me,” she said. Spencer frowned. Usually a guilty Hanna meant an overpriced pair of shoes or a new dress. Spencer would stomp and yell, Hanna would defend her purchase, and they’d kiss and make up. Something about this was different.

“Han, just tell me what you did,” Spencer said tiredly. Hanna sighed.

“I quit my job,” she admitted. Spencer’s eyebrows shot up.

“You quit your job?” she repeated. Hanna nodded miserably.

“I know I should have talked to you about it, but Claudia was yelling and throwing things and she wanted me to work an extra twenty hours a week and I just lost it,” Hanna rambled. Spencer reached across the table to put her hand on top of Hanna’s.

“Baby, I’m not mad,” she said. Hanna’s mouth opened in a small “oh” of surprise.

“You’re not?” she asked. Spencer shook her head.

“Look, I didn’t want to say anything because I know how important your work was to you. But I’ve always thought Claudia treats you terribly and you deserve better. Things might be a little tight around here for a while, but that’s okay. We’ll figure it out. You deserve better,” she stressed. Hanna chanced a small smile.

“Thanks. Ugh, Claudia’s never going to give me a decent reference,” she complained. Spencer rolled her eyes.

“I hate to break it to you, babe, but Claudia never would have given you a decent reference, because that would mean you were leaving her. And you’re the best damn assistant she’s ever had,” she said. Hanna’s smile grew.

“You’re probably right,” she agreed.

“Of course I’m right,” Spencer said, prompting a laugh from Hanna.

“You’re really not upset that I didn’t talk to you first?” she asked. Spencer shook her head.

“I’m really not mad. Of course I want you to feel like you can talk to me, and I don’t want you to think I would have tried to talk you out of it. Ultimately it was your decision. I just want you to be happy,” she said. Hanna beamed.

“Of course, if you’re going to be home now, you should start to cook more often,” Spencer added. Hanna rolled her eyes.

“I’m going to look for another job, you know. I’m not just going to sit on my ass at home and live off of you,” she said. Spencer laughed.

“Well until then…” she trailed off, leaving the suggestion in the air.

“Until then, I will cook more. Besides, if we keep eating takeout, we’re going to get fat. Well, you won’t because you have the metabolism of a teenage boy, but _I_ will get fat,” she said. Spencer snorted.

“Do you even understand how metabolism works?” she asked. Hanna laughed.

“No, but I know teenage boys eat whatever they want and don’t get fat. Besides, you should be focusing on the fact that I just agreed to cook for you,” she teased. Spencer grinned and bumped Hanna’s foot with her own.

“Thank you, baby. I’ll try to cook more too. I know we’ve basically been eating take out and microwavable meals since I started working at this firm,” she said apologetically.

“Spence, I grew up on Chunky Monkey and Cheese-Its. My mother hid money in a lasagna box, that’s how sure she was that no one would actually make dinner,” she reminded her. Spencer laughed at the memory. Though she had no idea what was going on when it happened, the image of Hanna cradling a box of lasagna noodles was permanently ingrained in her mind.

“Point taken. How did you learn to cook anyway?” she asked, knowing well and good that Ashley hadn’t taught her. Hanna shrugged.

“Remember when you were studying in Spain?” she asked. Spencer nodded.

“Well, I was bored and lonely and missing you, so I started making all of the things in your family recipe book. I was going to surprise you when you got home, but somehow it never happened,” she explained. Spencer’s heart warmed.

“That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” Spencer said. Hanna giggled.

“Just wait til you see what I have planned for dessert.”        


	16. It's Okay, I Couldn't Sleep Anyway--Spanna

Spencer Hastings couldn't sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, her mind conjured up images of Hanna, hanging from the bell tower, dead. She'd offered to let the blonde stay with her, but she'd refused, and Spencer didn't press. She and Hanna had been tiptoeing around their mutual attraction for a month now, and it had all come to a head last night. Whether Hanna regretted it and was avoiding Spencer, or she just truly wanted to be alone, she didn't know. But now she was wishing she had insisted, not for Hanna's sake, but her own. Finally, she got out of bed and slipped on her coat and a pair of shoes. She needed to see Hanna.

\---

Hanna sat on Lucas's couch, still in Spencer's sweats, swirling around a glass of wine. She was staring at the tv, but it wasn't on. Her thoughts were a whirlwind, cycling between the kiss she'd shared with Spencer in the motel room, to being pinned down and shocked in a shack, to being picked up in the middle of the road by Mary Drake. It was all too much to handle. She looked at her bare finger. It was crazy that only yesterday morning she'd been breaking off her engagement. She wished she had taken Spencer up on her offer of a place to stay. She'd wanted to prove to herself that she could be alone, but the dark had proven to be a formidable enemy. A knock on the door caused her to startle and spill the wine. She cursed under her breath.

"Just a minute!" she called, suddenly grateful that Lucas only had white wine. Red would have been impossible to clean up. Throwing a towel on the spill, she went to answer the door. 

"Spencer," she breathed out, surprised to see her standing there in her pajamas. The brunette shifted awkwardly. 

"Can I come in?" she asked. Hanna nodded and stepped to the side, letting her friend in. Spencer noticed that Hanna was still wearing the sweats she'd given her back at her house. She watched as Hanna closed the door and checked the lock three times. 

"So, uh, what are you doing here?" Hanna asked, painfully aware of the awkwardness. She wasn't sure if it was being caused by their kiss or her kidnapping. Spencer bit her lip.

"Can we sit?" she asked. Hanna nodded again. Spencer moved to sit on the couch, then noticed the towel.

"Oh, right. Sorry. Spilled some wine. You want a glass?" she offered. Spencer nodded and followed Hanna into the kitchen. Hanna poured Spencer a glass and then refilled her own and joined her at the kitchen table.

"I'm sorry to come over so late. I hope I didn't wake you up," Spencer said. Hanna shook her head.

"It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway," she admitted. Spencer's eyes flickered up at her in concern, then refocused on the table. Hanna sighed.

"I'm okay," she insisted. Spencer nodded, still not looking at her. Hanna downed her wine, waiting for Spencer to say something. She didn't. 

"Spence, it's three in the morning. Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?" Hanna asked finally. Keeping her gaze on the table, Spencer began to speak.

"There's something we didn't tell you," she whispered. Hanna waited for her to elaborate, knowing that prodding her along wouldn't do any good.

"After... After we found out that you were missing, we came back to Rosewood. We got a text from AD, leading us to the bell tower. We walked in and... We found... They must have been planning this for some time because they had a doll... A human sized doll... It had..." Spencer trailed off, her voice thick with tears. She cleared her throat and continued. 

"It had a blonde wig, and it was wearing the clothes we'd seen you in an hour ago. But the worst part was, it had a mask of your face. A good mask, not like those masks Ali made. It was latex and it looked... So real. For a few minutes, before we could get it down... I thought..." she stopped, too overcome with tears to continue. Hanna carefully walked around the table to hug her friend. Spencer clung to her, crying.

"It's okay, I'm okay. I’m alive," Hanna whispered. Spencer's next words were so quiet, Hanna had to strain to hear them.

"All those years ago, when I thought I found Toby's body... I thought that was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I was wrong."

Hanna closed her eyes, hugging Spencer tighter. All of the pain and fear she'd felt in that shack paled in comparison to what Spencer must have felt. She couldn't even imagine... She would rather suffer one hundred shocks than see what she believed was Spencer's body. 

"I just really needed to see you," Spencer finally said, pulling away and wiping her eyes.

"I know you said you wanted to be alone--"

"Stay," Hanna interrupted. She saw a spark of hope in Spencer's eyes.

"Are you sure?" she asked. Hanna nodded.

"There's a reason I was sitting in the living room with a glass of wine. I was stupid to think I'd be able to sleep alone tonight," she admitted, leading Spencer to the bedroom. 

"Do... Do you want to talk about it? I mean, I dumped all of my stuff on you. It's only fair that I listen to you. If you want, of course," she stuttered, clearly flustered. Hanna smiled a genuine smile at seeing the normally composed Spencer struggle for words. She slipped under the blankets and gestured for Spencer to do the same. Deciding that the darkness would be bearable with Spencer next to her, she flicked off the lights. Then, she turned on her side to face the brunette, thankful that Spencer wouldn't be able to make out her face. She felt Spencer take the same position.

"I thought I was going to die in there. He soaked me with freezing cold water and then held me down to shock me with... With this thing. I don't even know what it was. He'd ask me who killed Charlotte, and when I said I didn't know, he'd shock me. My shoulders, my back, my hips, my stomach... Nowhere was safe. One time... He held it to my back for so long I could smell my own skin burning," Hanna whispered, squeezing her eyes tightly shut against the tears. Spencer cautiously inched closer and gently touched Hanna's hand. The blonde gripped Spencer's hand back. Once again, Spencer cursed their acceptance of Hanna's refusal to go to the hospital. 

"I was so afraid. All I wanted was to go back to that stupid motel room and kiss you again." 

Spencer scooted closer, close enough that she could feel Hanna's erratic breathing on her neck.

"I wish I'd never walked out of that room," Spencer whispered. 

"It's not your fault. You're right, for AD to have had a mask like that, they had been planning this for a while," Hanna said before she even realized what she was saying. Both girls let the idea sink in. It was terrifying, the thought that AD had been preparing to--what? 

"But why? What if I had confessed instead of you?" Spencer asked. Hanna shuddered. While she would rather endure the physical torture AD put her through than the emotional agony of thinking Spencer was dead, she couldn't stand the thought of Spencer undergoing that treatment. 

"I don't know. Maybe they made masks of all of us," Hanna suggested. Maybe they always planned on targeting me, she didn't add. Spencer seemed to hear her unspoken thought, and raised her free hand to gently stroke Hanna's cheek.

"I'm not leaving you alone again. I promise," she said. Hanna smiled weakly.

"Good. You'd have to pry me off of you anyway," she joked. Spencer chuckled.

"Can I kiss you?" She asked quietly. Hanna nodded, then realized Spencer couldn't see it.

"Yeah," she said. Spencer leaned in and gently pressed her lips to Hanna's. The blonde deepened the kiss, moving her hands to tangle in Spencer's hair. It was only when they needed oxygen that they pulled apart, both breathing heavily.

"You should try to sleep," Spencer said, feeling her own eyelids getting heavy. Hanna nodded and laid her head on Spencer's chest. Spencer immediately put an arm around the blonde, their fingers automatically lacing together when they met.

"I'm really glad you couldn't sleep earlier," Hanna whispered. Spencer smiled and kissed Hanna's forehead.

"Me too."

 


	17. Watch Your Step--Spanna

_Spencer! Don't do this. We can't just hand over Ali! -Emily_

_Spence, I hope you know what you're doing. Em's really pissed... -Aria_

_Well thank god one of you has some sense. Text me if you need anything. --Mona_

Spencer rolled her eyes and put down her phone. Leave it to Mona to be the only one who approved of her actions. She didn't care if Emily hated her tomorrow. She knew her friend probably would, but it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was saving Hanna and they were wasting precious time fighting about that sweater. Emily was never going to agree to just hand it over, even if it meant saving Hanna. _There were too many things that could potentially go wrong,_ a small voice in her head whispered. AD could take the jacket and not let Hanna go, they could be wrong about Alison being Charlotte’s killer… She shook her head. She couldn’t think about that right now. She was not going to sit by and let Hanna die. So she stole the jacket, and left, dropping it off at the Lost Woods Resort. She couldn't stop checking her phone, praying to a god she didn't believe in that AD would reply. The phone beeped again and she quickly picked it up. Relief flooded her veins. It was an address, only fifteen minutes away from where she was. She turned on the car and started speeding to the place that she prayed held Hanna.

\---

Hanna shivered and curled up into a tight ball, trying to pretend she was somewhere safe. She had dreamt Spencer was there. When she’d opened her eyes, she’d hoped for a second that she was really there, but that was ridiculous. She was in the middle of nowhere, no one could find her. And according to this person, they weren’t even looking.  So she'd tried her hardest to follow her dream girlfriend's advice, but it was impossible. The door she had found was locked, and even on a normal day she didn’t think she would be strong enough to break it open. Now, soaking wet and weak from the shocks, she could hardly walk, let alone kick down a door. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to stop the tears. 

_"Your friends don't care about you! They're leaving you here to rot!" Hanna's captor yelled. She'd finally admitted that she didn't know who killed Charlotte, and that she'd only pretended it was her to save her friends. The person sprayed her with a full blast of water again, the force sending her backwards. She cried out, wondering why they were doing this to her. Where they trying to give her hypothermia? Or did they just want to humiliate her? Was there some other purpose for this? If Spencer was here, she'd probably have an answer. Even if she ever saw her again, she wasn't sure she'd be able to bring herself to ask._

_"Stop covering for them! They don't care if you die in here! Only you can save yourself. Who killed Charlotte?"_

_"I don't know!" Hanna yelled, tears streaming down her face. She could hear the person walking toward her, but she couldn’t see them. She backed up until her back hit the wall, turning to desperately claw at the wooden wall. Splinters were digging into her finger tips and getting under her nails, but she ignored them, screaming for help. She heard a buzzing sound behind her, and then felt a burning zap on her back. She screamed as the pain overwhelmed her. The person continued to shock her as she fell to the floor, asking her who killed Charlotte over and over until the words jumbled together in Hanna’s mind._

The sound of the door opening made Hanna scramble up and back away fearfully.

"Please, please don't hurt me! I told you everything I know, I promise!" she sobbed. She couldn't take more of this treatment. It was going to kill her, she knew it.

"Hanna?" Spencer's soft voice called. Relief flooded Hanna. They’d lied.

"You came for me," she said breathlessly, feeling guilty for ever believing Spencer would leave her here.

"Of course I did. Where are you, babe? I can’t see," she complained, trying to follow Hanna's voice. Hanna hobbled painfully over to Spencer, whimpering with each step. Once there, she threw her arms around her girlfriend.

“Thank you for finding me,” Hanna whispered, burying her face in Spencer’s shoulder. She let the tears flow freely, relieved to be in her girlfriend’s safe arms.

"You're wet," Spencer commented worriedly, holding Hanna tightly. She could feel her girlfriend shaking against her, and worried about how cold she was.

"They sprayed me with water," Hanna admitted, the words spilling out of her against her will. "Before shocking me, they sprayed me with water. Why would they do that?"

Her voice broke and she felt Spencer tense up.

"I-it makes the shock travel through your body easier and amplifies the pain," she said. Tears flowed down Hanna's face.

“They didn’t just want answers, they wanted to really hurt me,” she whispered, the realization making her shiver.

"Come on, let's get out of here," Spencer said worriedly, shrugging off her jacket and putting it on Hanna. The blonde pulled it tight around her body, grateful to cover up her body before Spencer could see it. She was sure she had bruises and burns, and while she knew Spencer would eventually see them, she wanted to put it off as long as possible.

"Watch your step," Spencer warned, guiding Hanna outside. Despite her warning, the blonde stumbled over a small step at the exit of the cabin. After so many hours of blackness, even the soft moonlight was hard on her eyes. She blinked rapidly, trying to adjust. They slowly made their way to the car, where Spencer quickly buckled Hanna into the passenger seat. She grabbed a blanket out of the back of her car and tucked it around Hanna.

"Do you want to go to the hospital?" she asked, already knowing the answer. Hanna shook her head.

"Please, take me home," she begged. Spencer nodded.

On the way back to Rosewood, she called Aria to tell her that Hanna was safe. As expected, Emily was pissed, but relieved that Hanna was okay.

“Do you want to see them tonight?” Spencer whispered to Hanna. The blonde shook her head. All she wanted to do was crawl in bed with her girlfriend and forget the events of the past twenty-four hours. Spencer nodded in understanding and told her friends they had to wait until the next day.

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled into Spencer’s driveway. Once inside, Spencer helped Hanna into a warm pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. She gasped at the sight of Hanna’s injuries, but didn’t say anything.

                Finally, Hanna was able to get in bed. She curled up against Spencer, her head on her chest. Spencer held her tightly, not wanting to let her go.

                “They said you didn’t care that I was gone. They said you weren’t looking for me,” she whispered. Spencer swallowed heavily.

                “I’d never stop looking for you,” Spencer promised, nuzzling the top of Hanna’s head.

                “Thank you,” Hanna murmured. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “There’s no need to thank me. You’d have done the same for me. Now sleep, sweetie,” she instructed softly. Hanna sighed contentedly and closed her eyes. Within moments she fell into a dreamless sleep.


	18. Drink This. You'll Feel Better--Sparia

Aria knocked on the door of the barn, frowning when Spencer didn't answer. Both her car and Veronica’s were in the driveway, and there was no way she’d walked somewhere in this storm. Aria supposed Spencer could be in the main house, but it seemed more likely she’d be in here. After rummaging around her purse for a few seconds, she used her extra key to let herself in.

"Spence?" she called, poking her head in. The barn was lit by candles, reminding Aria of the proposal she’d rejected only days before.

"Spencer?" she called again, shaking the memory of that night away. She walked into the kitchen and found Spencer huddled in the corner.

"Aria?" Spencer whimpered, holding a knife in front of her. Aria rushed over to her friend, grabbing the knife away from her.

"Spence, what happened?" she asked worriedly. Spencer looked at her, her eyes wild with fear. 

"I thought there was someone in here," she mumbled, ashamed of being caught like this. Still frowning in concern, Aria led her to the couch.

“The door was locked when I got here,” Aria said, wrapping a blanket around Spencer. The brunette nodded, however instead of being reassured she just felt sillier.

“I’ll be back in a second,” Aria promised, kissing Spencer’s forehead. Spencer nodded again. When Aria returned, she handed Spencer a mug.

"Here, drink this, you'll feel better," she said, sitting down next to her. Spencer took a sip, then made a face.

"This is decaf," she complained. Aria rolled her eyes. Of course Spencer would taste the difference between decaf and regular.

"You don't need to be more hyped up than you already are. Besides, why do you even have decaf in here?" she asked.

“My dad stayed here a while back. I guess he left it,” Spencer explained, taking another sip and wrinkling her nose at the lack of caffeine. Still, she drank it without complaining. She wouldn’t admit it, but Aria had a point about her not needing any extra stimulation.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Spencer asked.  Aria’s eyes drifted over to the laptop sitting out on the table. Spencer hastily snapped it shut, but not before Aria recognized what it was.

"Are you still watching those dollhouse videos?" she asked, the image of Spencer covered in blood making her queasy, even though she knew it wasn’t Spencer’s blood.

"Only mine," Spencer said defensively, not wanting her friend to think she was invading her privacy. Aria sighed, not wanting Spencer to take what she was about to say the wrong way.

"That's why I'm here actually," she admitted. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you didn't want to see them," she said, starting to open up her laptop. Aria shook her head, and put her hand on top of Spencer’s.

"I don't. I wanted to check on you."

Spencer frowned, removing her hand from the laptop.

"Check on me? Why?" she asked, perplexed. She started to pick at her cuticles, an action Aria knew from experience to be a nervous tic. She reached out and gently laced their fingers together before Spencer could draw blood. 

"We've been so preoccupied with figuring out what Hanna's up to none of us have asked how you're doing," she explained. Spencer's frown deepened.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? Hanna’s the one we need to be worrying about," she said, a hard edge to her voice. Aria wasn’t sure if it was directed toward Hanna or her.

"Spence..." she said softly. Spencer closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I really thought I hurt somebody in there. Killed someone, even," she whispered. Aria nodded, rubbing Spencer's back. She remembered when Spencer had first shared this incident with her. It hadn’t been until after Charlotte had been caught. Spencer had begged Charlotte to tell her what she had done in the Dollhouse, and Charlotte had laughed in her face. She’d taken that as confirmation that she’d hurt someone, and Aria knew it was something she'd been dealing with everyday for over five years.

"But you didn't," Aria pointed out gently, trying to make Spencer accept what she herself had believed from the beginning, that Spencer would never hurt someone. 

"But I _could_ have," Spencer argued.

"But you didn't," Aria insisted. Spencer nodded.

"I didn't. I can’t stop watching this, expecting for something to change. Every time I hit play, I'm afraid that I'm going to be hurting someone," she whispered, putting her head on Aria's shoulder. Aria put an arm around her in a sideways hug.

"Noel is going to go to jail for what he did," Aria said seriously. Spencer nodded, her mind elsewhere.

"Do you... Do you think we should go though the Hanna videos to see if there's anything that shows him kidnapping her?" Aria asked. Spencer shook her head vehemently. She was furious that Hanna had disappeared when they needed her most, and she was worried that she might be in trouble, but she wasn’t going to use her absence as a way to excuse invading her privacy.

"No. Not without her permission. If she doesn't want to tell us about it, I doubt she wants us to see it," she said. Both girls were quiet, thinking about when they'd both seen what Noel did to Hanna—Spencer, that first night when they got Hanna back; Aria two mornings later. Aria shuddered, remembering the angry red burns littering Hanna. It had been bad enough to see the evidence; she didn’t want to see it happening. Still, she thought they should know exactly what was on the tape before they turned it in.

"Do you want to stay the night?" Spencer asked, pulling Aria out of her thoughts. "I mean, it's storming so badly and--"

"I was already planning on it. It’s way too weird to stay at Lucas’s loft when Hanna’s not there,” Aria cut her off. Spencer gave her a grateful smile. She didn’t know if Aria was making up an excuse or if she was being honest, and she didn’t care.

"I'm going to go try to call Hanna again, okay?" Aria asked. Spencer nodded, but grabbed Aria's wrist when she tried to stand.

"Stay here?" She asked. Aria nodded, rubbing Spencer’s hand reassuringly. 

"I'm right here."

 


	19. Can I Hold Your Hand? -Spanna

Spencer did not want to visit the abandoned Radley Sanitarium. In fact, she'd be happy if she never heard the name or laid eyes on the place again. But ever since they figured out that Andrew wasn't A, Hanna had been on a warpath to find out who was. Armed with the knowledge that Charles was a DiLaurentis and had been admitted to Radley, this seemed like the best place to look for more information. And it was a good idea, she just wasn't sure how she got roped into doing it. Well, that was a lie. She knew exactly how she ended up here. Aria was refusing to do anything that had anything to do with the dollhouse and Emily was busy with Sara. But there was no stopping Hanna once she put her mind to something, and despite her own unease there was no way in hell Spencer was going to let Hanna do this alone. So here she was, standing outside the foreboding entrance of the place where she'd once been committed.

"Did you remember to bring a flashlight?" Spencer asked, trying to keep her voice from shaking. Hanna rolled her eyes, and held up a flashlight.

"Of course I did. I'm not completely useless," she snapped. Spencer suppressed a sigh. They hadn't even walked through the door yet and they were both on edge. She wondered what was making Hanna so uneasy. She'd never been locked up in this hellhole. Then again, since their escape, Hanna spent most of the time staring blankly at things or snapping at people, so it wasn't exactly out of the ordinary.

"Where do you think the records are?" Hanna whispered as they slipped through the front door. Spencer had been prepared to pick the lock, but there was no need. It was open. 

"Um, they're in the old children's ward," Spencer said, swallowing thickly. She remembered seeing the rows and rows of file cabinets the night she'd seen Alison. 

"How do you know that?" Hanna asked curiously. Spencer bit her lip and briefly explained what had happened that night. Hanna raised an eyebrow.

"Was it really her?" she asked. Spencer shrugged.

"I don't know. I never asked," she admitted, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Now that she thought about it, she wasn't sure why she'd never asked Alison about that night. It had never even occurred to her to ask the blonde. And now she didn't know what scared her more, the idea that it had been real or that it had been a hallucination. 

"It probably was. She visited me once, you know. When I was in the hospital," Hanna said absent mindedly. Spencer nodded. She was only half listening, but she was grateful for the sound of something besides her own pounding heart.

"Are those the files?" Hanna asked suddenly, stopping outside a doorway. Spencer bit her nail nervously, tearing off a hangnail. She hadn't even realized that she'd led Hanna down to the children's ward, her body was moving from memory. She peeked into the room. The rows of file cabinets were still there, but they'd been knocked over, folders strewn all over the place. There was an old bathtub in the middle of the room, filled with water, papers floating inside. 

"Are you coming?" Hanna asked impatiently, seemingly oblivious to Spencer's unease. Spencer took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. She started to follow Hanna into the room, trying to ignore the panic she felt any time she was near Radley. Impulsively, she reached out and grabbed Hanna's hand. The blonde turned to look at her, eyebrow raised. Spencer blushed, but couldn't bring herself to let go.

"Can I hold your hand?" she asked sheepishly. Hanna rolled her eyes and squeezed Spencer's hand. 

"Come on. It's gotta be here somewhere," she said, leading Spencer toward the cabinets. Spencer sighed gratefully, relieved that Hanna wasn't commenting on what she thought was a weakness. She wondered if Hanna also thought it was a weakness, not being able to be here without breaking out in a cold sweat.

They began rifling through the papers, but couldn't find any DiLaurentis files. She noticed Hanna’s hands still and she looked to see what she’d found.

"Spence? Do you want this?" Hanna asked softly, holding out a file. Spencer saw the name "Hastings" scribbled on the front. She took the file from Hanna, her hand shaking, thankful that Hanna didn’t comment further. 

"I don't think Charles's file is here," Hanna said. Spencer sighed. All this for nothing. Something caught her eye.

"Wait. Look at this," she said, pointing at the tub. Not letting go of Spencer's hand, Hanna inched toward the tub. Floating on top was a file. The ink had bled all over the place, but Hanna could faintly make out the letters "DiLa" before the rest completely blurred.

"Someone else got here first," Spencer said. Hanna frowned.

"What makes you say that?" she asked. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

"Do you think that the one file we want to look at just happened to walk over to the bathtub filled with water?" she asked sarcastically. Hanna tilted her head, her nose scrunching up.

"Okay, fair point. All the more reason to get out of here," she said. Spencer didn't need any encouragement to leave the abandoned building. They got back into Hanna's car and drove away, not discussing the disappointing mission.

Hanna didn't let go of Spencer's hand until she dropped her off at home.

 


	20. You Can Borrow Mine--Spanna

Spencer sighed contentedly, enjoying the scent of coffee and newsprint. Her friends—and especially her girlfriend—made fun of her for still subscribing to an actual newspaper, but she didn't care. She was perfectly fine reading books on an electronic device, but she felt newspapers were meant to exist as actual papers. This type of morning was her favorite, the mornings where she could enjoy her coffee and paper. She was aware of the similarity to her father, who had started his mornings like this for as long as she could remember. A loud wail interrupted her peace. She rolled her eyes, waiting for her girlfriend to appear. On cue, Hanna flew into the room.

"Have you seen my keys?" Hanna asked frantically, digging through her purse. Spencer shook her head, watching her in amusement. She would be willing to be that the keys were millimeters away from Hanna’s hand. Hanna had an interview with some big fashion designer this morning, and she'd been fretting about it all week, leading to several humorous situations. The previous night she’d nearly had a panic attack over not being able to find her black heels—which had been on her feet.

"Let me look," Spencer said, holding out a hand. Hanna handed her the purse, but to Spencer's surprise the keys weren't there.

"Have you looked on the counter?" she asked. Hanna glared at her.

"Of course I have! I've looked on the counter, on the table, on the desk, on the nightstand, everywhere! They're gone!"

Spencer rolled her eyes.

"They're not gone, babe," she said. To her horror, Hanna burst into tears. Spencer was quick to wrap her in a hug.

"Hey, it's okay. Don't worry about your keys. You can borrow mine," Spencer offered, rubbing her back. Hanna shook her head, tears leaking onto Spencer’s shoulder. 

"What am I even doing, Spence?" she asked, her voice muffled. Spencer frowned. She knew Hanna was worried about this interview since it was her first since she’d stopped working for Claudia, but she hadn’t realized just how upset she was.

"What do you mean?" 

"Why am I bothering with this interview? I’m never going to get this job. There are a million people more qualified than me. Why would she ever want me? Maybe this is just a sign that I'm not good enough for this job," she said. Spencer pulled back so she could look Hanna in the eyes.

"Listen to me. You absolutely are good enough for this job. I don't know if you're going to get it, but if you don't, it is not because you aren't good enough. I know you're worried that Claudia blacklisted you, but if that was true you wouldn't even have this interview. So don't give up before you give it a shot," she said seriously. Hanna sniffled.

"Are you sure I can borrow your keys? You don’t need them?" she asked hopefully. Spencer rolled her eyes.

"Yes, you can borrow my keys. I was already planning to work from home today. Now go fix your makeup so you don’t go into your interview looking like a raccoon,” she advised. Hanna blushed and ran into the bathroom.

“Do you really think I have a chance?” she asked when she returned. Spencer kissed her on the forehead.

“I really do,” she confirmed. “Now go knock ‘em dead.”

Hanna gave her a dazzling smile before leaving. Alone again, Spencer went to go heat up her coffee and finish reading the paper. She picked up the lifestyle section and burst out laughing. She couldn’t even believe it.

There, underneath the newspaper, were Hanna’s keys.

 


	21. You Might Like This--Spanna

                Spencer had always hated being sick. Obviously, no one liked being sick, but she really, really hated it. She hated missing work, she hated being stuck in bed, and she hated having other people take care of her. Right now, though, she would give anything to just be sick. Instead, she was recovering from a bullet wound to the chest, and couldn’t even go to the bathroom without her girlfriend’s help.

                Hanna had been a godsend the last few days. Ever since Spencer had come home from the hospital, Hanna had done everything she could to make her comfortable. She had gathered up all of Spencer’s favorite movies and tv shows, she made sure she had Spencer’s favorite foods, and she kept the never ending visitors to a minimum. Spencer wasn’t sure what she would have done without her.

 Of course, it had been a different story in the hospital. It had taken nearly the entire week for Spencer to convince Hanna that what happened hadn’t been her fault. She understood where Hanna’s guilt came from, but she had forgiven her for kidnapping Noel long before she was shot. A gentle knock startled Spencer out of her thoughts.

“Are you awake?” Hanna asked softly, walking into the room.

“Yeah, what’s up?” she asked. Hanna smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“You might like this,” she said, handing Spencer a mug. Spencer’s eyes widened as she inhaled the scent of coffee.

“Really? I can have coffee?” she asked in amazement. The doctor had prohibited her from consuming any caffeine, which had only served to make her extremely cranky. At least was she was sick, she also lost her taste for coffee, so it wasn’t the proverbial forbidden fruit. Hanna nodded.

“I talked to the doctor and she said that you can have _one_ cup a day for now,” she explained. Spencer took a long sip, a smile spreading across her face. She didn’t fail to notice that Hanna’s idea of a cup probably equaled at least two and a half of what a doctor considered one. 

“So, uh, Mary called again,” Hanna said cautiously, not looking at her girlfriend. Spencer narrowed her eyes.

“Did you just bribe me with coffee?” she asked suspiciously. Hanna shrugged.

“Maybe a little bit,” she admitted. "Did it work?" 

Spencer sighed.

“Maybe a little bit. So what did she want this time?” she asked. She’d been adamant about not wanting to see the woman claiming to be her birth mother, and she hadn’t broached the subject with her parents yet. She wasn’t sure why she was postponing the discussion. Either they admitted that Mary was her birth mother, or they denied it. Finding out the truth would be as simple as a blood test.

“The same thing she wanted the last five times. She wanted to see you,” Hanna said. Spencer nodded. She’d expected as much.

“What did you tell her?” she asked.

“Oh, she’s on her way,” Hanna said casually. Spencer’s eyes bulged, and Hanna giggled.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I said you’re not up to visitors right now, and you’d call when you’re ready,” she said. Spencer rolled her eyes.

“She probably knows you’re lying to her. I’m sure she knows Alison has been visiting,” Spencer said. Hanna shrugged.

“Maybe. So what? It’s your decision when you see her,” she pointed out. Spencer nodded slowly.

“I guess I should talk to my parents sometime,” she said, dreading the idea of it. Her relationship, especially with her mother, had improved so much over the last five years, and she hated the idea of something ruining the progress they’d made.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Hanna said supportively. Spencer smiled and took another drink out of the mug.

“Have I mentioned I really love this coffee?”  


	22. It's Not Heavy, I'm Stronger Than I Look--Haria

                Hanna smirked as she watched Aria haul box after box up the long flight of stairs. She’d offered to hire movers, but Aria had insisted on moving them herself. There was something enjoyable about watching her girlfriend get all sweaty, though she could think of a few other ways to get sweaty that would be more fun.

                “Do you want some help?” Hanna asked, taking pity on her despite having sworn up and down that she didn’t move stuff. Aria glared at her over the stack of boxes.

                “It’s not heavy. I’m stronger than I look,” she snarked. Hanna rolled her eyes as the short brunette nearly dropped one of the boxes.

                “What’s in there anyway? That must be your hundredth load,” she said. It was Aria’s turn to roll her eyes.

                “It’s my fourth load, and it would go faster if you helped me,” she pointed out. Hanna raised an eyebrow, not bothering to remind her that she had literally just offered to help a few seconds ago.

                “I told you, I don’t move shit. I offered to hire movers, remember?” she asked. Aria sighed and put down the boxes.

                “And I told you that it’s ridiculous to hire someone to move a couple of boxes,” she countered heatedly.

                “Have I mentioned how happy I am that you’re moving in?” Hanna asked, changing the subject. She really didn’t want to start a fight on their first night living together. Aria smiled widely.

                “Only once or twice. Have I mentioned how glad I am to be moving in?” she asked. Hanna nodded.

                “Only once or twice,” she teased.

It was true, after several hard years of long distance, they were finally moving in together. It was something Hanna had been dreaming about since they started dating over Christmas break of their junior year of college. But with Hanna interning for a famous designer in New York and Aria unexpectedly getting hired at a publishing company in Boston, they had been forced to be apart most of the time. They had agreed that their positions were too rare and valuable for either to give up, though they’d both seriously considered it more than once. Hanna couldn’t even count the number of times she’d almost packed her things and hopped on a train, only to remind herself that she’d never get an opportunity like this again.

It had been hard, the distance, but they’d made it work. Regular Skype sessions and phone calls made the lack of physical closeness bearable. Still, when Aria had called her a month ago with the news that her company wanted to transfer her to New York, Hanna had wanted to jump with joy. In their two years of dating, neither of them had ever asked the other to move. She had wanted to ask Aria to come to New York, but was afraid of what might happen: either Aria would say no, or she would say yes and end up resenting Hanna for asking her to quit her job.

“Are you at all worried about us living together?” Aria asked, breaking Hanna out of her thoughts. The blonde frowned.

“Why would I be worried?” she asked. Aria raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, we’ve been dating for years, but we’ve only been on a couple of dates. How do we know if we’re ready to live together?” she asked. Hanna laughed.

“Ar, you’re my best friend. I already know all of your weird quirks that most couples would need time to figure out,” she said. Aria wrinkled her nose.

“I don’t have weird quirks!” she protested. Hanna laughed again.

“Aria, you keep a pig puppet on your dresser,” she said. Aria frowned.

“So?”

“So, it stares at me while I sleep. It’s weird. But it’s something that I accept I have to live with,” Hanna said simply.

“Okay, well you leave your shoes all over the place,” Aria sputtered. Hanna nodded.

“True. Which is why I’m not dating Spencer,” she said. Aria rolled her eyes.

“Here I thought you weren’t dating Spencer because you liked _me_ ,” she joked. Hanna giggled.

“Well, there’s that too. Do you have more stuff downstairs or is that everything?” she asked, realizing that they (or Aria, anyway) had stopped moving things inside. The brunette nodded.

“This is it, amazingly. There’s still a few things I had sent to my parents’ house, but this is everything I have with me,” she said.

“Excellent. Then I propose we go out to dinner to celebrate us moving in together,” Hanna suggested, already thinking of all of the restaurants she wanted to show Aria.

“I think I should take a shower first. I’m disgusting,” she complained, gesturing to the sweat stains on her shirt. Hanna wrinkled her nose before an idea occurred to her.

“I could join you,” Hanna said suggestively, her voice lower than usual. Aria’s eyes darkened.

“I think that’s a great idea,” she said, following Hanna to the bathroom.

“I am so glad you’re moving in.”


	23. I'll Wait--Spanna

                “You know, the drive back to Rosewood is almost an hour long. You really can’t avoid me,” Hanna pointed out, looking at Spencer. The brunette didn’t reply.

                “I know you’re mad at me. It’s okay, I get it. I’d be mad too if I were you. But you have to talk to me at some point,” she added. Spencer’s grip tensed up on the steering wheel. Hanna sighed. Her girlfriend was angrier than she’d realized. It was her fault, of course. She was the one who’d mixed up the beers and ended up passed out in a parking lot, her purse missing, Noel Kahn long gone.

                “I’ll wait,” she said, faking patience. Unfortunately, patience was never Hanna’s strong suit, and within five minutes she was talking again.

                “Look, Spence, will you please just say something? I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to come all the way out here to pick me up. I’m sorry I’m so stupid I drank out of the wrong beer. I’m sorry I can’t do anything right,” Hanna apologized. Spencer glanced over at her girlfriend before turning her eyes back to the road.

                “You’re not stupid, Hanna. And I’m not mad that I had to come out here, or that you drank the wrong beer,” she said quietly. Hanna’s eyebrows furrowed together.

                “What are you mad about?” she asked carefully. Spencer didn’t answer, and Hanna managed to stop pressing her.

                “So what were you up to today?” Hanna asked, changing the subject. Spencer glared at the road.

                “You would know if you hadn’t run off on your own,” she said bitingly. Hanna rolled her eyes.

                “We’ve established that you’re pissed at me. So do you want to move on and tell me what’s going on? Emily’s message said you found something,” she said. Spencer took a few minutes to answer.

                “We went to the old Kahn cabin. We found a flash drive,” she said. Hanna raised an eyebrow.

                “And?” she prompted.

                “Noel was in the Dollhouse,” Spencer said. Hanna’s eyes bulged.

                “ _What_?” she nearly yelled. Spencer glanced over at her.

                “The flash drive had files of all of us, in our rooms in the Dollhouse. We didn’t watch them all. But the one I saw… I didn’t hurt anyone. The blood, Noel put it on me. I didn’t hurt anyone,” she repeated, her voice shaking. Hanna reached out and put her hand on Spencer’s thigh.

                “Of course you didn’t. I’ve never believed that you hurt someone,” Hanna said honestly. She had believed it when she’d told Spencer that first time, and she believed it now. Spencer gave her a grateful smile, momentarily forgetting her anger.

                The rest of the drive was uneventful, with neither girl wanting to disrupt their newly found peace. It wasn’t until they got home that Hanna decided to reopen their previous conversation.

                “If you’re not mad at me for being stupid or having to drive out there, what _are_ you mad about?” she asked.

“How could you just disappear like that? After everything that happened? Do you have any idea how worried I was?” she asked in a tight voice. Hanna’s frown deepened.

“I told Em I was going to New York to meet with Lucas,” she said. Spencer rolled her eyes.

“You sent her a text. And you didn’t tell me anything! I had to hear from _Emily_ that _my girlfriend_ was going out of town! And then we couldn’t get in touch with you, and Lucas said you weren’t together. I thought you were dead, or AD had gotten you again! How hard would it have been to just answer one of our calls?” Spencer yelled, angry tears rising to the surface. Hanna closed her eyes, guilt washing over her body.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

                “When I worry about AD getting a hold of you or… or hurting you, or worse… You know, I have a very real picture of what that looks like in my mind,” Spencer said, trying and failing to control the fear in her voice as she remembered those terrible moments when they’d found the Hanna doll and she’d believed her girlfriend was dead.

                “I know. I’m sorry,” Hanna whispered, ashamed. In her desperation to catch Noel, she hadn’t even thought about the pain she might cause her girlfriend.

                “Why didn’t you tell me?” Spencer asked. Hanna shrugged.

                “You guys weren’t ready to believe that Noel was AD. I knew you wouldn’t let me do this on my own, and I didn’t know if you would have helped me,” she explained. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

                “Are you kidding me? Of course I would have helped you! I mean, I might have suggested we try something besides _kidnapping_ a man we suspect of murder, but I would have helped you!” she yelled, anger replacing her sadness once again.

                “I’m sorry, Spence. I don’t know what else I can say. I needed to do this. I needed this to be over. I can’t sleep, okay? I can’t look in a mirror or wear anything without sleeves or do anything without remembering what he did to me. Every time I take a shower, I’m back there, being sprayed with freezing cold water. I’m scared all the time. I need it to be over!” she yelled back, tears streaming down her face. Spencer sighed and pulled her girlfriend into a tight embrace.

                “I’m sorry. I know you want this to be over. I do too. Trust me, baby. There is nothing I want more than to make him pay for what he did to you. But not at the expense of you being hurt again,” she said seriously, guiding Hanna to the couch.

                “I didn’t get hurt,” Hanna mumbled. Spencer tilted her head.

                “Yeah, because you got lucky. You’re lucky Noel left you on the sidewalk and only took your purse. He could have taken _you_. He could have killed you, or raped you, or locked you alone in another cabin in the middle of nowhere.  And I’m too selfish to lose you again,” she said. Hanna grimaced at the reminder that Noel could have done much, much worse. But he _had_ done worse, hadn’t he?

                “I wasn’t supposed to drink the wrong drink,” she reminded her. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “Well I didn’t think you did it on purpose. But that’s why we work together. Because when we work alone, we make mistakes. After… after the plan to catch AD ended in him kidnapping you, I thought we’d agreed that we didn’t do things on our own anymore,” she said.

                “I know. I’m sorry,” Hanna repeated. Spencer sighed and took Hanna’s hands in her own.

                “You don’t have to keep apologizing. I just need to know that you aren’t going to disappear on me again. When Emily called Lucas and he said you guys didn’t have plans, I… I felt like my heart had stopped and I couldn’t breathe. Anyone could have sent a text from your phone… I thought for sure he had you again,” Spencer admitted, breaking down again. Hanna put her arm around Spencer and gently guided her into her lap.

                “I’m sorry, Spence. I messed up. I know I messed up really bad. I swear I won’t do it again. I should have trusted you,” she said, smoothing Spencer’s hair gently as the brunette cried.

                “Why did he leave me on the sidewalk?” Hanna asked when Spencer’s tears had come to a halt. Spencer frowned, sitting up to face her.

                “What do you mean?” she asked.

                “You said it yourself, he could have done anything. So why didn’t he?” she asked.  Spencer shrugged.

                “Maybe he thought you’d told us that you were meeting him? Maybe he left before you actually passed out and someone else just stole your purse?” she suggested. She didn’t voice the other maybes running through her head: _maybe he didn’t have anywhere to take you. Maybe he was planning to come back and get you. Maybe he thought whatever you’d put in the drink would kill you._

                “Maybe,” Hanna agreed, though she was still unsatisfied.

                “I really am sorry,” she said again. Spencer shook her head.

                “I know you are. You don’t have to keep apologizing. Let’s just forget about it and move on, okay?” she suggested. Hanna nodded.

                “Thanks, Spence,” she said. Spencer smiled and kissed her.

                “Come on, let’s go to bed. We’ll deal with the rest of this tomorrow.”


	24. Just Because-Spanna

She hadn't meant to see the videos. When the three women had decided they were going to hand over the flash drive the next day, with or without Hanna, she hadn't planned on snooping through the other files. But then Aria had pointed out that anything could be on there, including the four of them burying a body. And since Spencer had already seen her own dollhouse videos, maybe she should just make sure there wasn't anything they didn't want the police to see. Spencer was pretty sure Aria and Emily were just using that as an excuse because neither of them wanted to be the ones to do it. Still, as much as she didn't want to see more, she was willing to relive her trauma if it meant keeping Hanna safe and out of jail.

 In fact, she would do anything to keep Hanna safe. She wasn't sure exactly when she had started to develop feelings for her friend, but they were there and they were loud. It was becoming increasingly harder to be around her without saying how she felt. But Hanna had been through something terrible, and Spencer didn't want to risk upsetting her. So in part, it was her feelings for Hanna that had led to her discovering these videos. 

She'd scanned through Emily, Mona, and Aria's files before opening Hanna's. So far, so good. There wasn't anything that incriminated them, only old footage from the dollhouse. Interestingly, the videos only showed Noel, never Charlotte or Sara. Maybe Sara had been keeping this as leverage against Noel, and he’d stolen it after killing her. But why not destroy it? Shaking her head, Spencer opened the Hanna folder, expecting to see more of the same. Instead, she noticed a few recently added videos. Frowning, she clicked on them. Immediately she wished she hadn't. 

Hanna was curled up on the floor of some place, soaking wet and screaming. Someone seemed to be filming this from their phone, so she couldn't see their face. Hanna was begging for them to stop. The person's right hand entered the frame. To Spencer's horror, they were holding a device she recognized as a cattle prod. She had known that she should turn off the video, stop watching the torture her friend was being put through. But something stopped her. So far, there wasn't any proof that Noel Kahn was the person responsible for this. If he would just show his face... It would be the evidence she needed to bring Hanna home. Or maybe that was just an excuse she was giving herself. Maybe it was just like a car wreck, where you want to look away but can't. Either way, she couldn't tear her eyes from the screen as the cattle prod was flicked on and pressed to Hanna's bare skin. The blonde let out a blood curdling scream. Tears sprang to Spencer's eyes as she watched a burn blossom on Hanna's shoulder. She watched as this was repeated again, and again, and again, until she felt like she was going to be sick.

Regret flooded her veins at the thought that Hanna had been dealing with this alone. She'd thought revealing her feelings would cause more distress, so she'd kept them a secret. Unfortunately, that meant she also avoided Hanna. In that moment, Spencer hated herself. Hanna had been forced to go through this alone all because she couldn't deal with a few butterflies in her stomach. And then, when Hanna had needed them most, they'd failed her. The rational part of her knew it wasn't all her fault, Emily and Aria should have done more too, but as the cattle prod was switched to high and pressed into Hanna's chest until she passed out, Spencer blamed only herself.

\--

"We're going to find her. Today," Marco said, pulling Spencer out of her thoughts. If she'd thought she hated herself last night, she really hated herself now. She couldn't believe she'd lost the flash drive. Again, the rational part of her brain knew it wasn't her fault. Someone had broken into her house in the middle of the night and stolen it. But the nausea from what she'd seen coupled with her fear for Hanna's safety was driving away her rationality. 

"How? How are you going to find her? I don't know if anyone's told you this, but this department is notoriously bad at finding missing girls!" Spencer snapped angrily. She felt a hand on her arm.

"She's just upset," Aria apologized. Marco put his hands up.

"I get it. And she's right. I've read all of your files. I know this department has done wrong by all of you. I'm not going to let that happen again," he said. Spencer bit back a retort, instead choosing to dial Hanna's number again. She wasn't surprised when no one answered. She put her head in her hands, ignoring the outside world. Not for the first time, she wished she could just bury her head in the sand until Hanna was home safe.

"You look like you could use a cup of coffee," a familiar voice said. Spencer looked up. To her surprise, the kitchen was empty except for her and Paige. Emily's ex pushed a cup toward her. Spencer accepted gratefully.

"So have you told her yet?" Paige asked. Spencer nearly choked.

“Told who what?” she asked, feigning ignorance. Paige raised an eyebrow and Spencer sighed.

“How did you know?” she asked. Paige rolled her eyes.

"I recognize that look you have. You should tell her. She has the same look," Paige said, squeezing Spencer's shoulder before rejoining Emily.

\--

"Spencer!" Aria yelled a couple hours later. Spencer rushed to the living room and immediately came to a halt. Standing in front of her, seemingly unharmed, was Hanna. She continued to stare in shock as Hanna told her story, and then made a written statement. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Spencer knew Hanna was lying, but in that moment, she didn't care. 

"Spence?" Hanna said cautiously, noticing that the brunette hadn't said anything. Spencer crossed the distance between them and pressed her lips to Hanna's. Hanna let out a small gasp of surprise.

"What was that for?" she asked, not minding the unexpected kiss.

"Just because," Spencer said, trying to play it cool despite her growing embarrassment. While she had been planning to tell Hanna how she felt, she hadn't meant to kiss her in front of a room full of people. Luckily, based on Hanna's small smirk, the blonde didn't seem to mind. 

\--

It was a couple of hours before Hanna was able to ask about what had happened. She'd announced that she was staying with Spencer and had kicked their friends out. Now they were alone, and could finally talk.

"You wanna tell me what happened earlier?" Hanna asked. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

"I told you," she said nonchalantly. Hanna rolled her eyes.

"I don't think you kissed me 'just because'. You don’t do anything ‘just because’," she said. Spencer's eyes flickered down.

"I've... I've wanted to do that for a while. I just wasn't sure how you'd react," she admitted. Hanna's expression softened.

"What made you do it now?" she asked. Spencer bit her lip nervously.

"Em told you about the flash drive?"

Hanna nodded.

"We were going to give it to the police. So Aria suggested we make sure it didn't show us doing anything... Less than legal," she explained. Hanna nodded again.

"Han... There were videos on there... From when AD took you," she whispered. The blood drained from Hanna's face. 

"I was so afraid he had you again, and when I saw you I just... I couldn't... So I kissed you," she said. Hanna remained silent. She hadn't wanted her friends to ever know the extent of what Noel had put her through. Now Spencer not only knew, but she'd seen it.

"Please say something," Spencer begged. Hanna swallowed thickly. She didn't know how to feel about Spencer seeing her torture, but she did know how she felt about something else. 

She leaned forward and kissed Spencer, catching the brunette off guard.

"What was that for?" Spencer gasped, echoing Hanna's words from before. Hanna grabbed Spencer's hand and began leading her to the bedroom.

"Just because."

 


	25. Look Both Ways--Spanna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is admittedly crack-ish...

                Hanna stretched out contentedly, her feet kicking against Spencer’s legs. She’d had a long day at work and just wanted to relax for a few minutes with her girlfriend. It was a Friday night, which meant she had the brunette to herself for the next two days, which was rare. Even rarer was the fact that she didn’t work that weekend. Which meant they had two whole days to spend together, and they were starting the weekend with Chinese takeout and a movie. She’d considered taking Spencer out for a real date, but they’d decided to stay in instead.

Spencer glanced up from over her book to frown disapprovingly.

                “Don’t get too comfortable,” she warned. “It’s your turn to pick up dinner.”

                Hanna rolled her eyes and picked up her latest issue of _Vogue._

                “I know, I know. But the restaurant is across the street, and it won’t be ready for another fifteen minutes,” she said. Spencer frowned and looked at her watch.

                “I thought they said it would be ready at six?” she asked in confusion. Hanna nodded, flipping through her magazine. She couldn’t believe some of these dresses even made it out of the studio, let alone on the runway. She had seen Claudia refuse to allow pieces better than these into her collections.

                “Han, it’s five fifty-five,” Spencer said slowly, noticing her girlfriend didn’t appear to be moving. Hanna cursed and jumped off the couch.

                “Shit! The last time I was late picking it up, they gave it to someone else!” she exclaimed, pulling her shoes on. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “Yeah, because last time you got there a half hour after the food was ready. It’s just across the street, you’ll be fine,” she said. Hanna didn’t respond to that. After all, it hadn’t been her fault she had been that late last time. Claudia hadn’t let her leave until an hour after she was supposed to get off.

                “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” she said, grabbing her wallet.

                “Look both ways!” Spencer called after her. Hanna froze in the doorway, forgetting her rush. She slowly turned around to glare at Spencer, her hands on her hips.

                “It’s a crosswalk! If the little man is lit up, I’m supposed to be able to cross!” she argued, not for the first time. Spencer nodded.

“Yeah, in theory. But remember what happened the last time you crossed without checking?” she asked. Hanna blushed.

“Once! That happened one time!” she defended herself. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

                “First off, it happened three times. And all three times, you almost got hit by a car!” Spencer reminded her.

“ _Almost_.”

 “Second, once is all it takes to turn you into a pancake,” Spencer pointed out. Hanna rolled her eyes, but didn’t point out that she had been hit by a car before, and it hadn’t ‘turned her into a pancake’. Spencer disliked Mona enough without bringing up that dark spot in their history. Instead, she directed her ire to the idiots who had nearly run her over.

                “It’s not my fault New Yorkers are such terrible drivers they don’t know how to stop at red lights,” Hanna complained.

                “And you know that! Which is why you have to check before you start walking!” Spencer argued, joining Hanna in the entryway.

                “Yeah, yeah. You’re such a worrier,” she said, giving Spencer a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

                Despite all of her arguments that it wasn’t _her fault_ New Yorkers were the worst drivers in the world, and she should be able to cross at a crosswalk, she looked both ways before crossing the road. After all, if something happened, Spencer would _never_ let her live it down.


	26. I'm Sorry, I Didn't Mean To--Haria

It was beginning to look like the entire trip out to the Amish community was a bust. No one would talk to them, there was no sign of Rollins anywhere, and they’d spent $100 trying to get people to talk. And still, the two women had learned absolutely nothing. Until a little girl beckoned Hanna into a barn. The blonde followed, unsure of what she might find.

"You're pretty," the girl said. Hanna smiled.

"You're pretty too," she replied. The girl smiled at her, and Hanna was pretty sure she was going to get information from her when Aria burst in. Hanna glared at her girlfriend, though it wasn't her fault.

“What’s your name, sweetie?” Hanna asked, trying to build a rapport with the girl.

“Eliza. But I’m not supposed to tell strangers,” she said seriously. Aria raised an eyebrow.

“Well… We’re not strangers. We’re… friends,” she said. Eliza nodded and pulled something out from under a pile of hay.

"These are my dolls. Do you like dolls?" Eliza asked. Aria and Hanna shared a look. They hated dolls with a passion, but that didn’t mean they wanted to steal a source of this girl’s happiness. 

"Um, I had lots of dolls when I was younger," Hanna said honestly.

"Most of my dolls are boring. But not these. They’re pretty. This one's my favorite. Her name is Alison," she said, holding up a doll with blonde hair. Hanna's heart quickened but she forced herself to stay calm. Alison was a common enough name, and the girl probably liked this doll because they had the same hair color.

"Why's she your favorite?" Hanna asked, trying to keep her voice from shaking. It didn’t work, but Eliza didn’t seem to notice her fear.

"She looks like Charlotte. Don't tell my dad! He’ll take them away and Charlotte will be mad. Charlotte gave me her dolls and asked me to take care of them," she explained. Hanna heard Aria asking the girl a question, but she couldn't hear it over the blood rushing to her head. Before she knew what was happening, Aria was tugging on her hand, pulling her out of the barn.

"How much better could Charlotte have gotten if she was still naming dolls after us?" Aria asked. 

"Not much, I'm guessing," Hanna said, disgust dripping from her voice. Suddenly she froze, her eyes falling on something.

_"No please no don't."_

_"Please! Please don't, please!"_

"Han? Baby, what's wrong?" Aria asked in concern, putting a hand on her girlfriend’s arm. She was relieved when Hanna didn’t shake her off, as she had been doing the last couple of days.

"That's what he used on me," Hanna whispered, staring at the object. Aria frowned and followed her line of sight. Her breath caught in her throat.

"A cattle prod? Oh my god, Hanna," she said, thinking about the burns she'd seen on her girlfriend's body. The blonde had refused to talk about how she’d gotten them. Hanna shook her head.

"It's fine," she said. 

"It's not fine. Elliot will pay for what he did to you, Hanna. I promise," she said seriously. Hanna shook her head again, trying to shake the memories too. 

"Ali's the one we should be worrying about," she said. Aria sighed.

"Come on. Let's just get out of here," she suggested, reaching for Hanna's hand. To her continued relief, Hanna didn't pull away.

The girls were halfway home when Aria decided to broach the topic of what had happened at the farm.

“Have you been having a lot of flashbacks?” she asked softly. Hanna didn’t look at her, and Aria wondered if she was making a mistake by bringing this up. But every time she’d tried to talk about it, Hanna walked away. Right now they were in the car and she couldn’t run. It might be Aria’s only chance to question her.

"Baby, are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Aria asked when it was clear Hanna was ignoring her previous question. Hanna turned to glare at her.

"I already told you I don't," she replied in a tight voice. Aria sighed.

"I know, but maybe if you don't want to talk to me, you could talk to Spencer or Emily," she suggested, trying not to feel hurt that her girlfriend might prefer to talk to someone else. Hanna's grip tightened on the steering wheel, but she didn’t say anything.

"Or maybe you should make an appointment with Dr. Sullivan. I could come with you, if you want. I know she's helped you in the past." 

"Aria! Don’t you get it? I want to forget the hell I went through, not relive it! And you're just making it worse!" Hanna yelled, tears threatening to spill over. Aria's face fell. For a moment she was stunned into silence.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," she apologized quietly when she regained her voice. Hanna sighed, feeling guilty at upsetting her girlfriend. 

"I know. I know you're just trying to help," she said softly. She knew that if the situations were reversed, she would be pushing Aria, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't talk about it. Not yet, maybe not ever.

“But I’m not. I’m just making it worse,” Aria repeated, unintentionally throwing the words back at her girlfriend. Hanna sighed, regretting her choice of words. They were true, but she hadn’t wanted to hurt Aria’s feelings. She reached over and moved Aria's hand so it was resting on her thigh. 

"You being here helps, okay?" she said softly. Aria nodded and rubbed Hanna's thigh.

"I'm not going anywhere."

 


	27. Try Some--Haria

                Hanna stuck the key into the lock on the door to her and Aria’s shared apartment, exhausted after a long day of being ordered around by Claudia. She was pretty sure the woman was insane. And after her experience with Charlotte, insane was not a word Hanna threw around lightly. She groaned, annoyed when the door stuck and wouldn’t open. She gave it a small kick and smiled proudly when it opened.

                “Aria, I’m home! Do you want to order a pizza or something? I’m exhausted,” she complained, kicking her shoes off. She paused, realizing that Aria wasn’t in the living room, where she’d expected to find her. She frowned.

                “Aria?” she called.

                “In the kitchen!” Aria yelled. Hanna’s frown deepened as she walked into the kitchen. It was ridiculous to even call the small space a kitchen. She knew for a fact that Spencer’s bathroom was bigger than this. Neither woman was a fantastic cook, so the only parts of the kitchen used often were the coffee pot, the microwave, and occasionally the oven. To her surprise, Aria was donning an apron and was stirring something on the stove.

                “What are you doing?” she asked.

                “Making dinner,” Aria said slowly, as if speaking to a child, thinking it was pretty obvious what she was doing.

                “You don’t cook,” Hanna said accusingly. Aria raised an eyebrow.

                “No, _you_ don’t cook. I’m a fantastic cook,” she said proudly. Hanna furrowed her eyebrows, trying to remember the last time her girlfriend had made something besides grilled cheese. She failed.

                “What are you making?” she asked, deciding not to dwell on things that might lead to a disagreement. She knew she tended to get argumentative after a long day, and she didn’t want to start a fight over something as stupid as whether or not Aria cooked.

                “Oh, uh, vegan beef bourguignon,” she said, busily stirring a pot. Hanna grimaced and wondered why her girlfriend couldn’t just stick to something simple, like pasta. Now she remembered the last time Aria had cooked, and why she had forced it out of her memory.

                “Okay, I don’t know what bourguignon is, but I’m pretty sure beef isn’t vegan,” she pointed out. Aria rolled her eyes.

                “Obviously. I’m substituting a mushroom tofu mixture for the beef. I know Claudia gets stressed out before a show, which leads to her stressing you out, so I wanted to take care of dinner before you got home. It was supposed to be done already, but it’s taking a little bit longer than I expected,” she explained. Hanna shuddered, resisting the urge to say how awful that sounded. She wasn’t even a vegetarian, let alone a vegan, and _this_ was what Aria decided to make?

                “Oh, that’s okay. I’m going to go change clothes,” she said. Aria nodded absentmindedly, and Hanna dashed out of the kitchen. Once in the safety of their bedroom, she flopped onto the bed, dreading dinner. It was sweet of Aria to make dinner, and Hanna really did appreciate it. There was a fashion show coming up that weekend, and it was true that Claudia make her life hell in the days before a show. But seriously, why couldn’t Aria just order a pizza or something? Pizza was practically its own food group, as far as Hanna was concerned.

                “It’s ready!” Aria called. Hanna groaned and made her way out to the living room. One of the annoyances of their small apartment was the lack of a good place for a kitchen table, which meant most nights they ended up eating on the floor in front of the small coffee table.

                “Wow, it looks… great,” Hanna forced herself to say as Aria put two plates down on the table. Aria rolled her eyes.

                “I know you don’t mean that. You think it looks awful,” she said, disappearing into the kitchen again. Hanna’s eyes widened.

                “What? No… It’s just…. It’s different,” she stuttered. Another eye roll from the brunette as she returned with two glasses of wine. She handed Hanna a fork.

                “Try some. Just a bite. If you don’t like it, you can have something else,” she said. Now Hanna rolled her eyes.

                “I’m not a little kid,” she grumbled. Aria blushed, realizing that she sounded just like her mother had when she and Mike were kids.

Despite her reluctance, Hanna didn’t want to hurt her girlfriend’s feelings. So, preparing herself, she took a tiny bite of the brown mush. As she had expected, it was terrible. An idea was forming in her mind, though, and she took another hesitant bite, and another. She looked up and found Aria smirking at her.

“What?” she asked, shoveling another bite into her mouth. Aria shook her head, amused.

“Nothing. I take it you like it?” she asked. Hanna shrugged.

“It’s okay,” she lied, amazed that Aria couldn’t read the truth all over her face. Aria grinned.

“I’m glad you like it,” she said smugly.

“You haven’t tried it yet,” Hanna pointed out. Aria frowned.

“I guess I haven’t,” she realized. She took a bite and immediately made a face, resisting the urge to spit it out.

“Oh my god, Hanna, this is disgusting!” she exclaimed. Hanna burst out laughing, pleased that her prank had worked.

“Aria, you are a woman of many talents, but cooking is not one of them,” she said. Aria groaned, realizing that Hanna had been pretending the entire time. She had to admit, she was impressed by the blonde’s acting skills. It wasn’t often her girlfriend could fool her. Taking pity on the brunette, Hanna put an arm around her.

“It’s okay, babe, you know I can’t cook either. I still love you,” she promised. Aria sighed, disappointed by the time she’d put into what had turned out to be a spectacular fail.

“Wanna order a pizza?” she asked. Hanna nodded happily. Aria sighed again, and stood up to go order their dinner. As she stepped into the other room, she heard Hanna call:

                “And no mushrooms!”


	28. Drive Safely--Haria

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prequel to "It's Not Heavy, I'm Stronger Than I Look".

                _Beep. Beep. Beep._

                Hanna tucked her face into her girlfriend’s chest and wrapped and arm around her waist, groaning at the annoyingly loud alarm clock.

                “Han, I have to get up,” Aria yawned, trying to remove Hanna’s arm. It was about as effective as trying to pull off a boa constrictor, or at least the way she imagined it would be.

                “Stay,” Hanna ordered sleepily. Aria sighed. She’d known the word was coming, and she’d been preparing for it.

                “I can’t. I have class,” she reminded her. Instead of moving, Hanna nuzzled closer.

                “Just five more minutes,” she begged.  Aria sighed again and ran her fingers through Hanna’s hair.

                “Han, my class is at ten. If I don’t leave now, I won’t make it,” she said. Hanna lifted her head to look at the alarm clock.

                “It’s five in the morning. You have plenty of time,” Hanna whined.

“Just five more minutes. I still have a four hour drive,” Aria reminded her, relenting. Pleased to have gotten her way, Hanna buried her face back into Aria’s chest.

Aria hated this; she hated long distance. She longed to spend every night like this, and not have to worry about getting up and making the four hour drive back to Boston. She was reminded once again why she’d meant to leave the previous night: while Hanna would never consciously make her miss class, she got clingy when she was still asleep. And at five in the morning, Hanna was definitely still mostly asleep.

Only six more months, she reminded herself. In six months she would be graduating and joining Hanna in New York. The blonde had gotten a coveted internship, so they’d both agreed it made more sense for Aria to move in with her. And Aria couldn’t be more excited. She had to force herself to pay attention to her classes, because all she wanted to think about was the future she’d be starting in six short months.

“Han, I really need to go,” she said regretfully. Hanna sighed but didn’t argue, and kissed her girlfriend.

“I’ll walk you out,” she offered. Aria shook her head, slipping out of bed. She tenderly readjusted the blanket around the blonde.

“Don’t be silly. You go back to sleep,” she said. Hanna didn’t argue.

“Drive safely. And call me when you get back,” Hanna ordered, a yawn interrupting her. Aria smiled and pressed a final kiss to Hanna’s forehead.

“I will. And I’ll see you next weekend,” she said.

Hanna had already fallen back asleep. Aria sighed to herself and collected her overnight bag.

After picking up a coffee from the shop next to Hanna’s apartment, Aria began the drive back to Boston. While she drove, she imagined what her life would look like in six months. She could already picture her and Hanna living together. They would be able to go to bed together and wake up in each other’s arms, without a five o’clock alarm rushing her out the door. They’d drink their morning coffee together and eat dinner together. She’d listen to Hanna complain about her boss. She’d find a job at a coffee shop or something until she could find something more permanent. It almost sounded too good to be true, but in a mere six months it would be her life.

She glanced at the dashboard, checking the time. She wasn’t worried about being late, but she secretly hoped Hanna would stay asleep until she got home. Ever since Aria had gotten into a _minor_ car accident last year, Hanna worried, and worried, and worried, every time Aria got into a car. She hadn’t even been hurt, but anytime she tried to point that out, Hanna would hysterically remind her that she’d gotten lucky. Aria had considered switching to taking the bus, just to placate her girlfriend, but driving herself shaved off forty minutes. Plus, she didn’t have to tailor her plans to the bus schedule. Still, she hated knowing that Hanna worried.

Her phone rang and she rolled her eyes. Had Hanna woken up confused, thinking Aria had gone home last night? She normally didn’t call if she knew Aria was driving. She picked up the phone and frowned, not recognizing the number.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Is this Aria Montgomery?” a woman’s voice asked. Aria’s frown deepened.

“Yes, who is this?”

“This is Annaleigh Winters at Tribune Publishing Company. We’d like to offer you a job.”

Aria’s jaw dropped. She’d completely forgotten about applying to the company. She started to tell the woman that she wasn’t interested, but hesitated.

“Can I give you my answer in a couple of days?” she asked instead. The woman agreed, and they hung up. Aria sighed. She knew she couldn’t turn down this job. Offers like this didn’t grow on trees. She’d only asked for some time because she felt she owed it to Hanna to tell her before she accepted.

But… They were both so excited. How was she going to tell Hanna she was staying in Boston?


	29. Well What Do You Want to Do? --Spanna

"Thanks for meeting me," Spencer said, uncharacteristically nervous. Hanna forced a tight smile. Their friendship had always been so natural; she hated the amount of tension between them.

"Of course," she said. She knew exactly why Spencer had called, but didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. The two had successfully avoided being alone together since the night of Hanna's kidnapping, when they'd shared a passionate kiss.  

“So, uh, is your mom excited about winning the election?” Hanna asked. She mentally kicked herself for asking such a stupid question. Of course Veronica was excited. To her credit, Spencer didn’t act like it was stupid.

“Honestly I don’t know who’s more excited, her or my dad. He actually went with her on her victory tour of the state,” she said. If they hadn’t had more pressing business, she might have shared her speculation that her parents were back together.

“Must be nice having the house to yourself,” Hanna commented. Spencer nodded her head, then sighed.

"Han, can we please talk about what happened the other night?" Spencer asked. Hanna shrugged, stirring her coffee to avoid looking at the brunette.

“What is there to talk about?” she asked, adding another packet of sugar to her coffee and trying to be nonchalant. She didn’t want Spencer to know just how much the kiss had meant to her, at least not without knowing how Spencer felt.

“Did Jordan break up with you?” Spencer asked bluntly. Hanna nearly spit out her coffee.

“What? Why would you think that?” she asked. Spencer pointed to Hanna’s hand.

“That’s not your original engagement ring,” she said. Hanna frowned, examining her ring. She’d thought it was a pretty good knockoff, and had never imagined that any of her friends would be familiar enough with her ring to know it wasn’t the same one.

“Jordan didn’t break up with me. I broke up with him,” Hanna admitted. Spencer’s eyebrows knitted together.

“So why are you wearing a fake engagement ring?” she asked slowly. Hanna shrugged.

“I didn’t want everyone to know,” she said. Spencer nodded, trying to process the information.

“So it had nothing to do with what happened between us the other night?” she asked, unsure as to what answer she wanted.

"This breakup was in the works since I came back to Rosewood. And I'm sorry about the other night. I was scared and I freaked out. We can just forget about it," Hanna said, feeling her heart break with each word. She wasn’t lying when she’d said their breakup was a long time coming. Ever since stepping foot in the same room as Spencer, she’d known she wouldn’t be able to deny her feelings and stay with Jordan. And she didn't want to forget about it, but she didn't know what else to say. Spencer could never feel the same way about her.

"What if I don't want to forget about it?" Spencer asked in a small voice. When she’d noticed that the ring was different, Spencer had felt a glimmer of hope. Now it was being dashed away, as hope always was. Hanna's eyes flickered up, then returned to her coffee.

"Why wouldn’t you want to forget about it?” Hanna asked. 

"Why would I?” Spencer countered. “I didn't kiss you on a whim, Hanna. I kissed you because... I realized you're the one I want to be with.” 

"Jordan wants me to come back to New York and talk. He thinks if he can get me out of Rosewood things will go back to the way they were. Caleb wants me to give it another shot, as if the last three years hadn’t happened. You want to be with me. Lucas wants me to sign a contract agreeing to do something I have no idea how to do. Emily wants me to get Alison out of Welby, when she’s the one who took her there. Aria wants me to go sleuthing with her, but I can’t even leave the house without being terrified. Everyone wants me to do something, and I just feel stuck," she admitted.

"Well, what do you want to do?" Spencer asked, hating that she was included on the list of things overwhelming Hanna. The blonde sighed.

"I want to be with you, I really do, but I'm afraid I'm going to fuck everything up,” she said softly.

"Sweetie, you're not going to fuck anything up. Why would you think that?" Spencer asked with a frown.

"Because that's what I do! I try to be a good assistant to Claudia and I end up being fired. I try to help Alison and her sister ends up dead. I try to catch AD and I end up being kidnapped. Every time I try to do something, it all goes to shit!" Hanna exclaimed, drawing the attention of several other customers. Spencer’s glare sent them all cowering back to their own conversations. Satisfied that no one was listening, Spencer turned back to Hanna.

"That's not true," she protested. 

"Look, I think you think I'm somebody I'm not. Everyone thinks I'm somebody I'm not. Somebody smarter, braver, sharper. But I'm not," Hanna said dejectedly. Spencer reached across the table to grasp her hand.

"Hanna, I know exactly who you are."

"How? I don't even know who I am."

"You're my best friend, my Hanna Banana. And you're the best person I know. So screw Claudia and Ali and AD. If this is what you want, go for it. And I’m not just saying that because it’s what I want, because what I really want is for you to be happy.”

"If one more thing goes wrong in my life, I think I'll fall apart," Hanna whispered. Spencer squeezed her hand. 

"This won’t go wrong. I'm not going anywhere. Whether we give this a try or not, whether it works out or not, I'm always going to be here for you. That's not something that'll ever change," Spencer promised. Hanna gave her a small smile.

"Maybe... Maybe we should try going on a real date," she suggested. 

"Are you asking me out?" Spencer asked playfully. Hanna did an exaggerated eye roll.

"No, I'm hinting that you should ask me out," she teased. Spencer grinned.

"Hanna Marin, will you go out for dinner with me tonight?" Spencer asked. Hanna pretended to consider the offer.

"Yes!"

 


	30. One More Chapter--Spanna

                _“And thus, every fall Persephone was forced to return to Hades, and mourning her loss, Demeter stopped giving life to the plants around them. But when spring arrived and Persephone came with it, Demeter would once again give life to nature,”_ Hanna read aloud, putting down the book of Greek myths. Spencer yawned and stretched out.

                “One more chapter,” she begged. Hanna rolled her eyes.

                “It’s getting late. We’ve already read three!” she exclaimed. Spencer nodded and rubbed her large stomach.

                “Yeah, but you want the baby to know your voice, don’t you? It’s not for me, it’s for her,” she argued. Another eye roll from Hanna.

                Ever since finding out Spencer was pregnant seven months ago, Hanna had been insistent about reading to their unborn daughter every night to make sure she was born knowing Hanna’s voice. The couple had fought over what to read; Hanna thought they should read _Harry Potter_ , Spencer had wanted to read Shakespeare. Finally they’d come to an agreement: every night, one of them got to choose a book. Spencer had quickly decided, however, that _Romeo and Juliet_ was too violent for their unborn child and had switched to other works of classical literature. Last night, she had randomly chosen an old book of Greek mythology that had belonged to her mother. To her surprise, Hanna had turned around and picked that book again tonight.

                Unable to deny her wife’s request, Hanna began to tell the story of Prometheus and how he gave the humans fire.

                “You can’t end on that one! It’s way too violent. It’ll give the baby nightmares,” Spencer whined when Hanna had finished. The blonde kissed her wife’s stomach.

                “Okay, first off, I’m pretty sure babies don’t dream. And secondly, it’s ultimately about how his kindness saved humankind, which really makes it an excellent story,” she protested, remembering what Spencer had argued in ninth grade English class. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

“You remember that?” she asked in awe. Hanna nodded.

“Of course I do,” she said, not saying that Spencer was basically the _only_ thing she paid attention to in freshman year.

“Still. That doesn’t mean she can understand that! And scientists believe that babies do start dreaming in utero, so I win,” Spencer said. Hanna was about to make a retort when Spencer grabbed her hand and pressed it to her stomach.

                “Look, she’s kicking. As sweet as it is that you remember my interpretation for high school, Mara’s upset. She wants to hear one more, a romantic one,” Spencer said. Hanna grinned, feeling the baby kick.

                Spencer had been hesitant when Hanna approached her about having a baby. Part of her had always known the topic would come up eventually. Ever since they were little girls Hanna had talked about her future babies. Still, when her wife had announced three years into their marriage that she wanted to try for a baby, it had taken her by surprise. It didn’t take a psychologist to know that Spencer’s reluctance to be a mother stemmed from her own uneasy childhood. She was afraid of being cold and distant, or favoring one child over another. She was terrified that addiction and anxiety ran through her blood. Luckily, that could be avoided by Hanna being their biological mother. She just hadn’t expected her wife to have trouble getting pregnant. But she’d known the second Hanna opened her mouth to ask if she would carry the baby that she’d say yes.  

                Now, feeling the baby kick, Spencer couldn’t believe she’d ever questioned wanting this. She already loved her daughter so much, and Hanna was going to be an amazing mother.

Unable to deny Spencer’s request, Hanna flipped through the book, looking for something romantic. Settling on the perfect story, she began reading the tale of Eros and his love Psyche. Halfway through, Spencer’s eyes began to drift shut.

“Should I stop?” Hanna asked in a whisper. Spencer shook her head.

“No, finish the story. I’m listening,” she said. Hanna kissed her wife’s forehead and continued reading. Within moments, the sound of the brunette’s soft snores filled the room. Hanna turned off the light and gave Spencer one last kiss before she too went to sleep, dreaming of her wife and their unborn child.


	31. Don't Worry About Me--Spanna

                “Thanks for staying over. My mom’s out of town and I just really didn’t want to be alone,” Hanna said, pulling on a pair of sweat pants. Spencer gave her a small smile.

                “No problem,” she responded. When the blonde had tentatively asked her to spend the night, she’d been quick to agree. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how betrayed her friend must have felt, and she would do anything she could to make her feel a little bit better.

                “I know you probably wanted to spend the night with Toby, but—”

                “Han, I mean it. There’s nowhere I’d rather be,” Spencer interrupted.

“Besides, I think he deserves to be in the doghouse for a while,” she joked, knowing Hanna didn’t believe her. The blonde managed a smile, but it quickly disappeared as she peered at her friend’s face.

                “Does that hurt?” she asked, gesturing to the bruise that was forming on Spencer’s cheek where Mona had slapped her. Spencer shook her head.

                “It’s fine. Don’t worry about me. How do _you_ feel?” she asked. Hanna shrugged and sat down at the end of her bed.

                “Confused. Hurt. Betrayed. She was my best friend. I mean, you guys are my best friends, but she was… She was there when I didn’t have anyone else,” Hanna said. Spencer nodded, understanding. It was true. They’d all lost touch after Alison went missing, and they hadn’t been there for each other. While she’d initially been surprised by Hanna’s friendship with Mona, she’d come to understand it, and she knew Mona meant a lot to Hanna.

                “And then I feel guilty because as bad as I’m feeling right now, Emily must be feeling a million times worse,” Hanna said, tears forming in her eyes. Spencer put her arm around her friend.

                “You can’t compare it, sweetie,” she said.

                “Her girlfriend is dead, Spence. That’s a lot worse,” Hanna argued. Spencer sighed, knowing there was no winning this discussion.

                “You can be upset over Mona without feeling guilty about what Emily’s going through,” she said carefully. A small cry escaped Hanna’s lips.

                “She ran over me with a car,” she cried, crumpling into Spencer’s arms. The brunette hugged her close, rubbing her back comfortingly.

She couldn’t believe that a few hours ago, she had complimented Mona on what a good friend she was. She was a huge bitch and a major pain in the ass, and had acted like a total airhead most of the time, but Spencer had never doubted that she loved Hanna. Even when they’d gotten into arguments, she’d always believed that she genuinely cared about the blonde. Now all of that was being called into question, and Spencer knew that Hanna must be in unbearable pain right now.

“Why did she pretend to get notes from A?” Hanna asked through her tears. Spencer sighed again, for what felt like the millionth time that night.

“To keep us from thinking it was her. To feel included. To disassociate with her actions. I don’t know. Does it matter?” Spencer asked, running through the list of possibilities that had occurred to her. She gently wiped away Hanna’s tears with her thumb.

“No. I guess not. I just feel so bad for Mrs. V. Mona was the only thing she had. This is going to break her heart,” Hanna said, referring to Mona’s mother. Spencer didn’t know how to respond. She’d only met the woman in passing, but she knew that her husband had died when Mona was young, and Mona didn’t have any siblings.

“Do you think… Do you think she killed Alison?” Hanna asked in a whisper, afraid to say the words out loud. Spencer swallowed thickly.

“Maybe. But maybe not. I mean, it seems likely that the same person who killed Alison killed Maya, and we know that wasn’t Mona,” Spencer reasoned. Hanna frowned.

“Why do you think it’s the same person?” she asked. Spencer shrugged.

“Two girls, roughly the same age, killed in the same yard? Rosewood doesn’t exactly have a high murder rate, so two similar crimes have a high probability of being connected,” she explained. Hanna raised an eyebrow.

“Are you making this up to make me feel better about Mona? Because it sounds like you’re making it up,” she accused.

“I’m not saying it’s impossible that it’s two different people, I’m just saying it’s probably the same person. At least, I’d like to believe there’s only one murderer in Rosewood,” Spencer defended. Hanna nodded slowly, taking it in. Spencer did have a point. It was bad enough knowing there was _one_ killer in Rosewood, but the idea of two…

“Do you think Emily’s okay?” she asked. Spencer smiled sadly.

“That’s one of the things I love most about you,” she said. Hanna furrowed her eyebrows.

“What?”

“How much you care about other people. Here you are, completely heartbroken, and you’re still worrying about everyone else. Me, Mona’s mom, Emily… You have the biggest heart of anyone I know,” she said seriously. Hanna blushed.

“I’m sorry we lost touch last summer. I missed you,” she said, laying her head on Spencer’s shoulder.

“It wasn’t your fault. We all could have done more,” Spencer said. The irony of Mona bringing them all back together wasn’t lost on her. She claimed to have been jealous of them stealing Hanna from her, but they probably wouldn’t have become close again if not for her actions as A.

“Promise it won’t happen again?” Hanna asked. Spencer smiled and kissed the top of Hanna’s head.

“I promise.”


	32. It Looks Good on You--Spanna

Hanna sighed happily as she looked at herself in the mirror, running her hands over the bodice of her dress. It was pearl white, with a strapless lace bodice and a full skirt that nearly touched the floor. She could hardly believe that in less than a week she'd be walking down the aisle in this dress. It seemed almost impossible to imagine that it was all coming together. For the last couple of months, she'd had one foot in the wedding planning door and the other trying to find Charlotte's killer. After being kidnapped and nearly killed by AD, she’d been afraid the wedding wouldn’t happen. She'd been devastated by the loss of her engagement ring, which she knew was ridiculous, given the circumstances, but it had been a symbol of Spencer's love for her, and AD had taken it from her. But now, with a new ring on her finger and only days away from the wedding, it seemed silly that she had fretted over the piece of jewelry.

"It looks good on you," a low voice said from behind her. She spun around, her jaw dropping in horror. Spencer was standing in the doorway, arms crossed, a smirk on her face.

"What are you doing in here!?" Hanna sputtered, grabbing a blanket to try to cover up the dress. Spencer shrugged, entering the room and sitting on Hanna’s bed.

"I wanted to see my fiancé," she said nonchalantly, as if she hadn’t just sent Hanna into a superstitious tailspin. Hanna glared at her.

"I'm in my wedding dress!" she exclaimed. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

"So?"

"So? So? So you aren't supposed to see the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding! You just jinxed our wedding and probably our entire marriage!" she wailed. Spencer rolled her eyes. Of course Hanna would believe in the old wives’ tale. Still, despite the urge to tell Hanna it was just a superstition, she decided to play along.

"You’re right, the _groom_ isn't supposed to see the bride in her wedding dress. But I'm not a groom, and as far as I know, there is no such rule about brides seeing their brides in their wedding dress," she pointed out, proud of her ability to come up with something that was logical but would still placate her fiancé. Hanna considered this. 

"I guess you're right," she relented. Spencer grinned.

"Of course I'm right. I’m always right,” she said smugly. Hanna rolled her eyes and put down the blanket. She turned around, eying her backside in the mirror.

"Do you really like this dress? Do you think it makes my ass look fat?" Hanna asked, deciding to get Spencer's opinion since she had already seen her. Another eye roll. 

"Now you want my opinion? Five minutes ago you were trying to kick me out," she joked. Hanna tilted her head expectantly, waiting for an answer. 

"Your ass looks great. The dress looks gorgeous on you. It's perfect," Spencer said. Hanna beamed.

“Unzip me?” she asked, standing in front of her fiancé. Spencer gently pulled the zipper down, being careful not to rip the delicate fabric. She shuddered at the idea. There would be hell to pay if anyone caused any problems for this wedding, and ripping Hanna’s dress would certainly qualify as a problem. Hanna carefully stepped out of the dress and placed it in the plastic protector before returning it to the closet. She turned around and caught Spencer looking her up and down.

“Like what you see?” she asked with a smirk. Spencer blushed, embarrassed at being caught checking out the blonde. Not that it was the first time.

“Are those new?” she asked, not recognizing Hanna’s lingerie set. Hanna rolled her eyes.

“I’m practically naked and you’re looking at my underwear?” she asked, slipping her jeans and sweater back on. Spencer’s cheeks reddened more.

"You look beautiful in your dress too, by the way," Hanna said. Spencer frowned. Despite not believing in the silly superstition about seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding, she’d agreed that they should shop separately for their dresses. She’d caught enough of the bridal shows Hanna watched to know it wasn’t good when couples went dress shopping together. And she didn’t remember ever showing Hanna her dress, which she was keeping it at Aria’s until the wedding.

"What? How do you know that?" she asked. Hanna shrugged, having the good grace to looks slightly guilty.

"I might have asked Aria to send me a picture when you were trying dresses on," she admitted. Spencer's jaw dropped.

"And she did?" she asked in disbelief. Hanna nodded.

"Of course she did. I know we agreed to pick out our own dresses, but I wanted to make sure we didn’t completely clash. Aria understands the importance of that,” she said. Spencer shook her head, astonished by her fiancés antics.

"You're amazing, you know that?" she asked. Hanna's smile widened.

"I know," she said smugly.

“And you know you could have just asked to see the dress and I would have shown you?” Spencer asked. Hanna rolled her eyes.

“Sure, but where’s the fun in that?” she asked. Spencer shook her head again and kissed Hanna. The blonde gasped in surprise.

“What was that for?”

“Do I need a reason to kiss my future wife?” she asked, eyebrow raised. Hanna shook her head.

“Of course not,” she said.

“All right then, shut up and kiss me.”

 


	33. Close Your Eyes and Hold Out Your Hands--Paily

                Christmas had always been Emily’s favorite holiday. It was the only day of the year she was always sure her father would be home. Every year, she and her mother would pick out a tree, decorate the house, bake an extraordinary number of cookies, and fill the house with Christmas cheer. There had been a few years after her dad died that she’d had trouble finding the holiday cheer, but this year she was determined to find it again.

                She and Paige had gotten married a little over a year ago, and a couple of months ago they’d decided they were ready to start a family. The second they’d made the decision to start trying, Emily had decided to re-discover her holiday cheer. Christmas had always been a magical time growing up, and she wanted it to be that way for her child as well. Obviously it wouldn’t be the same—she and Paige both worked regular jobs and would be home all of the time—but she wanted to continue the traditions her parents had started. So for the last several weeks, she’d spent all her time decorating, baking, and preparing for Christmas Day.

It would only be her, Paige, and Pam on Christmas Day, but they were hosting a big dinner on Christmas Eve. All of their friends would be there. Hanna and Caleb, Spencer and Toby, Aria and her new boyfriend, Liam. She’d invited Alison too, but the blonde had politely declined, saying she wanted to spend Christmas with Charlotte and Jason. It was almost tragically ironic that they had all ended up back in Rosewood, but it also seemed like maybe it had been fate. She and the girls had come back for Charlotte’s trial, Paige had come back to take care of her ailing mother, and none of them had ever left again.           

                “What is that wonderful smell?” Paige asked, startling Emily.  

                “I thought you didn’t get off work until three?” Emily asked, surprised to see her wife home early. She took her job seriously, and even though it was winter break, she expected her swimmers in the pool. Paige raised an eyebrow.

                “When’s the last time you checked a clock?” she asked. Emily glanced at the oven and realized it was the timer, not the clock.

                “What time is it?” she asked.

                “Four. So, what’s that smell?” she repeated.

                “Sugar cookies. I can’t believe it’s four already! I wanted to have these done by now, but the time seems to have slipped away from me. Do you want to help me decorate?” she asked, showing Paige the magazine pages she’d ripped out. The pages featured iced sugar cookies decorated into little snowmen, snowflakes, trees, and ornaments. Paige bit her lip. She really didn’t have an artistic bone in her body, but she didn’t want to disappoint Emily.

                “You don’t have to! I just wanted to offer. I didn’t want you to feel left out,” she said, laughing at the poorly hidden horror on her wife’s face. Paige let out a sigh of relief. She had been shocked, but happy when Emily had announced she wanted to have a big Christmas. The memory of the Christmas they’d all shared their senior year of high school had always stayed with her. But something in Emily had changed after her dad died, and she’d stopped wanting to celebrate Christmas. Last year, she’d refused to exchange any gifts at all.

                “Do you want some hot chocolate?” Emily asked. Paige nodded, and accepted the mug that Emily was already passing her. She took a cautious sip, not wanting to burn her tongue. She had learned the hard way that Emily made her hot beverages _hot_.

                “Mmm, what’s in this?” she asked, trying to identify the added spice. Emily grinned.

                “Cinnamon. Do you like it?”

                Paige nodded.

                “It’s delicious,” she said. Emily’s grin widened. She loved Christmas.

\--

                Everything had gone perfectly the previous night. Dinner had been excellent, gifts had been exchanged, and the friends had sipped eggnog long into the night. Emily had stuck to virgin eggnog, claiming that she needed to keep a clear head for the next day. Her mother had always been a wonderful hostess, and she wanted to do her first actual Christmas justice, she’d explained.

                Of course, that wasn’t the real reason she’d abstained from alcohol. But she had been waiting until this morning to share the news with Paige. And she had the perfect way of telling her.

                “Merry Christmas, babe,” Emily said, kissing her wife’s cheek.

                “Merry Christmas,” Paige said back.

                The two women were in their living room, sitting on the floor with steaming mugs of hot chocolate, in front of their heavily decorated Christmas tree. Paige had been surprised when Emily had handed her the cocoa instead of coffee, but hadn’t questioned it.

                “I want to go first,” Emily announced, pulling a gift out from under the tree. Paige raised an eyebrow at her enthusiasm, but didn’t protest.

                “Close your eyes and hold out your hands,” Emily ordered. Paige rolled her eyes, but once again didn’t protest. Instead, she did as she was told. A light package was placed in her hands.

                “You can open your eyes now,” Emily said with a laugh. Paige opened her eyes and began to carefully tear off the wrapping paper. She gasped.

                “Oh my god,” she whispered, holding up her gift. It was a yellow onesie with the words ‘World’s Best Mommy”.

                “Are you pregnant?” she asked. Emily nodded, grinning.

                “Oh my god! Oh my god, we’re having a baby!” Paige exclaimed happily. She and Emily had started trying a couple of months ago, but she hadn’t wanted to get her hopes up. The doctor said it could take a while for Emily to get pregnant, and Paige saw no use in getting excited before there was a reason.

                “My present is going to seem like nothing compared to this,” she joked. Emily laughed and shook her head.

                “You’ve already given me the best present in the world. You,” she said. Paige felt tears pooling in her eyes, but she had to disagree. Emily’s love was the best gift anyone could have.

               


	34. That's Okay, I Bought Two--Sparia

Aria was in the midst of a fitful sleep when her phone woke her up. She thought it was a dream at first, but incessant the ringing convinced her she was awake. She answered, heart racing with worry when she saw the name.

"Spence? What's wrong?" she asked, sitting up, all traces of tiredness gone.

"I know I said I wanted to be alone, but I really need you right now," Spencer cried. Aria was already putting on her shoes before Spencer had finished her sentence.

"I'll be there in ten minutes,” she promised

After scribbling a note to her dad and scrambling to put together what she called a "detox bag", Aria hopped in her car and raced to the Hastings' house. She hesitated at the front door, unsure if Peter or Veronica was home. To avoid awaking them, in case they happened to be there, she used the spare key Spencer had given her and quietly let herself in. She followed the familiar path to Spencer's room and knocked gently on the door.

"Spence?" she whispered, tiptoeing into the room. A dim bedside lamp illuminated Spencer’s face. Aria’s heart broke at the sight in front of her. Spencer was curled up in bed, shaking and sweating, her eyes rimmed with tears. She hated seeing her beautiful, strong, smart best friend suffering so badly.

"Hey sweetie," Aria said softly, sitting down next to her. 

"Thanks for coming," Spencer said, her voice rough. Aria nodded and gently caressed Spencer’s cheek. She was clammy, but Aria didn’t move her hand.

"How are you feeling?" she asked. Spencer shrugged weakly as she struggled to sit up straight.

"Achy. Nauseous. Tired. Cold,” she rattled off. Truthfully, she hated herself at the moment. She hated herself for ever popping a single pill into her mouth. She hated herself for not being strong enough to stop. She hated herself for everything that had happened in recent weeks. But she couldn’t tell Aria any of that.

Aria reached into her bag and produced a bottle of ginger ale.

"Drink some of this, it might help with the nausea," she said, opening the bottle and handing it to Spencer. Spencer took a few sips, but her shaking hands lost their grip and the bottle crashed to the floor.

"Dammit!" she cursed, tears springing to her eyes. She was infuriated with her own weakness. Aria squeezed her hand.

"That's okay, I bought two," she said reassuringly. Spencer looked at her blankly and Aria sighed. 

"Let's get you changed into something that isn't soaked through with sweat, and then I'll get this cleaned up, okay?" she asked, though she left no room for argument. Spencer nodded silently. Making sure to avoid stepping in the spilled soda, Aria went over to Spencer's dresser and pulled out a pair of clean pajamas. 

"I thought a t-shirt and shorts might be better," she explained, helping Spencer remove her soiled clothes. She didn’t really know how withdrawal worked, beyond the occasional episode of Dr. Phil, but she figured the most important thing was to make Spencer comfortable.

"Just lay down and I'll be back in a minute," she promised. Spencer nodded weakly and lay back down.

Aria got a towel from Spencer's bathroom and threw it onto the puddle of soda. The hardwood floors that covered every surface of the Hastings house had always seemed so cold and impersonal before, but now she was grateful for them. After cleaning up the mess, she pulled a small bottle out of her bag and shook a few drops of something onto her finger. Spencer sniffed.

"What is that?" she asked, too out of it to recognize the scent.

"Lavender oil," Aria responded, lightly dabbing it into Spencer's temples. "My mom swears by it. She says it's the cure all for headaches and nausea."

“I used to use lavender oil on long car trips,” Spencer said. That was why the scent had been so familiar. Spencer had always gotten car sick if she was in the car for more than forty-five minutes or so. Veronica had taken to keeping a small vial of lavender oil in her purse, and she’d dab it on Spencer’s temples when they got in the car.

Content that there was nothing more she could do to help, Aria joined Spencer in the bed. Spencer quickly curled up against her friend, laying her head on her shoulder.

"Thanks for coming," Spencer repeated. Aria rubbed Spencer's back, making random designs with a feather light touch.

"Of course. I'll always be here when you need me. Besides, I can't help but feel like this is my fault," she admitted. Spencer frowned.

"Why?" she asked. Aria sighed, guilt bubbling in her stomach.

"You started taking the pills because you wanted to figure out who A was. Then once you put the pieces together, you wanted to prove beyond a doubt it was Ezra because you knew I wouldn't believe you otherwise," she said. Just saying the words aloud made her feel like an idiot all over again. Ezra might not have been A, but he was still a monster. And Spencer had been the only one smart enough to see it.

"You didn't believe me," Spencer whispered. Aria sighed.

"I know. And I'm sorry. I never should have doubted you," she apologized. She felt Spencer shrug.

"It's okay. And it's not your fault. I knew I had an addiction and I started taking the pills anyways," she said. Aria didn't respond. She didn't know what to say.

"My parents want to send me to rehab," Spencer said quietly. Aria frowned.

"What?" 

"This is my one chance to get clean. If I relapse, it's off to rehab for me," she said bitterly. Again, Aria didn't know how to respond. She had no idea if this was something Spencer could kick on her own or if it was something she needed help with. 

"I'm here for you, Spence. We all are," she said finally. Spencer didn't respond.

"Spence?" she whispered. No response. She looked down and noticed that Spencer’s eyes had fluttered shut. She pressed a soft kiss to Spencer's forehead.

"Good night, Spence."

 


	35. After You--Paily

                Paige McCullers had never been more nervous in her life. For a girl who usually didn’t give much thought to what she wore, she’d changed her outfit an embarrassingly high number of times. She didn’t even know why she was so nervous. It wasn’t like it was her first date with Emily. She and the other girl had even been _intimate_ , but it had been an unexpected surprise, nothing planned. This was different. This was Emily’s first date since Maya had died, and Paige wanted everything to be perfect.

                She’d arranged to pick up Emily at six o’clock on the dot. They’d go out to eat at Emily’s favorite Italian restaurant, and then they were going to go see a movie. She’d told Emily she wanted to surprise her, so the other girl didn’t know what they were seeing. After perusing the show times, Paige decided to take Emily to see _Ouija,_ despite her own personal dislike of horror movies. They were Emily’s favorite, and besides, scary movies were practically an invitation to cuddle, which was something Paige could get behind.

                At exactly six, Paige was on Emily’s doorstep, knocking at the door. She almost forgot how to breathe when Emily opened the door. She was dressed in a relatively simple blue dress that would have looked so-so on the rack, but looked incredible on Emily. It was tight around her chest, and showed off _a lot_ of skin.

                “Like what you see?” Emily asked with a smirk. Paige realized she’d been staring and she cleared her throat.

                “You look great,” she said. Emily smiled.

                “Well let’s get going. You promised me an evening I wouldn’t forget, remember?” she asked. Paige nodded, her mouth suddenly dry.

                “After you,” she said, gesturing for Emily to go in front of her. Instead, Emily grabbed her hand. To Paige’s surprise, she didn’t let go the entire way to the restaurant.

                “What are you going to get?” Emily asked, perusing the menu. Paige shrugged. She hadn’t really thought about it, but now it felt like the most important decision she’d ever make in her life. It was silly, she knew.

                “I think I’m going to get the Chicken Alfredo,” Emily mused. Paige nodded absent mindedly, realizing her mistake too late. _Why, why, why_ had she chosen an Italian restaurant? Practically everything had garlic in it, and Paige wasn’t quite so oblivious to the rules of dating to not see the problem. Finally she decided on spaghetti and meatballs and hoped that there wasn’t _too much_ garlic in it. And she certainly wasn’t eating any of the garlic bread sticks.

                “That was delicious,” Emily said later as they were leaving the restaurant. Paige nodded in agreement. She supposed it had been good, but she’d hardly tasted it, she was so nervous.

                “Gum?” Emily offered, holding out a stick.

                “Sure,” Paige accepted, wishing now that she’d gone ahead with the bread sticks.

                “So are you ever going to tell me what movie we’re seeing?” Emily asked curiously. Paige cleared her throat.

                “Um, _Ouija_ ,” she said. Emily’s face lit up.

                “Seriously? No way!” she exclaimed happily. She didn’t know what she’d expected, but it wasn’t this. She knew Paige hated horror movies, and she honestly thought Paige had a worse taste in movies than Spencer.

                “I thought you might like it,” Paige said, proud of herself for doing something right. Emily beamed.

                “I’ve been dying to see it, but nobody would go with me!” she explained. Paige smiled slyly. She had actually asked Hanna if Emily had seen the movie yet, and the blonde had practically begged her to go with Emily, claiming that if she had to see one more horror movie with her friend, she was going to die. Paige thought she was being a bit dramatic, but an hour into the movie she understood what Hanna meant.

                While Emily claimed to love horror movies, she turned into a massive chicken when watching them. She spent the entire moving clinging to Paige’s arm. Which wasn’t something Paige would usually complain about, except for the fact that Emily’s nails were digging into her skin so much that she was sure they’d leave marks. It wasn’t exactly the type of cuddling she’d been hoping for, that was for sure.

                After the movie ended, Emily was practically shaking with fear and excitement.

                “Oh my god, that was terrifying!” she exclaimed as they left the theater.

                “I thought you were going to pee your pants at one point,” Paige said, wanting to kick herself the second the words left her mouth. Luckily, Emily just laughed.

                “When that thing popped out? Oh my gosh, it’s a good thing I peed before the movie or I probably would have!” she exclaimed. Paige marveled that they could talk about bodily fluids without the romantic feelings being ruined.

                They drove back to Emily’s house in near silence, neither of them ready for the evening to be over.

                “You know… My mom’s out of town. If you wanted to come in for a while. We could have coffee or something,” Emily offered shyly. Paige felt her palms getting sweaty. _Calm down. You’ve been alone with Emily before. For god’s sake, you’ve had sex with her!_

                “I’d love to,” Paige said. Emily offered her a small smile and led her into the house. For the first time that night, Paige wasn’t in charge and Emily was looking forward to it. Once they were inside, Emily turned and attacked Paige with her mouth. Paige was startled but reciprocated immediately.

                “I’ve been wanting to do this since you picked me up,” Emily said breathlessly, kissing up and down Paige’s neck. Paige shuddered.

                “You’ve wanted to do this? How do you think I felt, seeing you in that dress?” Paige asked. Emily laughed and the sound set a shiver down Paige’s spine.

                “I guess Hanna picked well,” she said. Paige rolled her eyes. It was just like Hanna to be playing both sides, helping them both make the night amazing.

                “Clearly we should have skipped dinner and the movie,” Paige joked.

                “There’s still time for dessert,” Emily said huskily, moving toward the stairs. Paige followed eagerly.

                She’d done pretty well tonight, if she did say so herself.


	36. We'll Figure It Out--Spanna

It had been a week since the girls had escaped from the Dollhouse. In that time, the four had each found their own ways of coping with the lingering fear and PTSD they were experiencing: Aria buried herself in her photography, Spencer sought comfort from Sabrina’s special brownies, Emily focused all her energy on Sara, and Hanna was sleuthing. But it wasn't working, not really. Hanna had tried to get them to talk to Dr. Sullivan, but then A had threatened Sara and Emily had put a stop to their plans. Personally, Hanna didn't understand Emily's obsession with the other girl. They didn't even know her and they certainly didn't owe her anything. Besides, if she’s just gone back to her own house where she belonged, she wouldn’t be in any danger.  But Emily was insistent. So instead of trying to fix things between all four of them, Hanna had asked just Spencer to come over. Now the two girls were awkwardly sitting across from each other on Hanna's mattress.

"Sorry about this. I wasn't really thinking about not having anywhere to sit," she apologized. It wasn’t until Spencer had arrived that she’d realized they’d have to sit on the floor. Spencer shrugged.

"It's fine. I don't mind," she said, meaning it. 

"So what are you doing in here? Do you have plans for the room?" Spencer asked, looking around at the torn apart room. Hanna shook her head, looking sheepish. 

"Not really. I just needed something different," she explained. While she hadn’t been embarrassed by her lack of foresight when her mom said something, for some reason Spencer made her feel like she should have had a better plan.

Spencer nodded in understanding. The two lapsed into a silence, both remembering their rooms in that place and the torture they'd been through there.

"Are we okay?" Hanna asked suddenly. Spencer frowned.

"Of course we are," she said without hesitation, though her voice lacked its usual confidence. Hanna smiled sadly.

“How are we okay when we can hardly look at each other?” she asked quietly. Spencer frowned and gently reached out to take Hanna’s hand. She was relieved when the blonde didn’t pull away.

“Okay, maybe we aren’t okay right now. But we will be,” she promised.

“How?” Hanna questioned.

“We’ll figure it out,” Spencer said confidently. Hanna wasn’t sure how Spencer could be so sure, but she felt better all the same.

“I have an idea,” Spencer announced. “Why don’t we go to the store and look for wallpaper or paint?”

Hanna smiled, appreciating Spencer’s attempt at making things okay. And despite her mom and Caleb’s many attempts to go to the store with her, which she had refused each time, she found herself excited by the prospect of going with Spencer.

“You don’t really want to help me decorate my bedroom,” she said. Spencer shrugged.

“Why not?” she asked. Hanna knitted her eyebrows together, trying to think of something. It wasn’t that she couldn’t think of a reason Spencer wouldn’t want to help her as much as it was that she couldn’t think of a reason Spencer _would._

“Okay, but you can’t try to talk me into choosing something boring,” she said. Spencer wrinkled her nose.

“I wouldn’t try to pick something boring!” she exclaimed. Hanna raised an eyebrow.

“Classic doesn’t necessarily mean boring,” she argued weakly. Hanna only continued to look at her with a raised eyebrow.

“I won’t try to influence you unless you ask for my help. Pinkie swear,” Spencer said, holding out her hand. Hanna linked their pinkies, a smile on her face.

                “Let me tell my mom we’re going. I’ll be right back,” she said. As she went downstairs, a smile remained on her face. Teasing Spencer, which she realized was what she’d been doing, was the first time she’d felt normal since returning home. Maybe they would be all right after all.


	37. Can I Kiss You--Spanna

                Spencer, Aria, Hanna, and Spencer stood outside the police station, discussing their newest discovery.

“The point was to turn us against each other. Hasn’t that always been what A wants?” Spencer pointed out. The other three girls were silent, considering this. It was true. Since the days of Mona being A, pitting the girls against each other had always been a favorite activity.

                “It didn’t work, did it?” Aria asked quietly. Spencer shook her head.

                “Of course not,” she said. Hanna remained silent.

                “I should be getting home or my mom will get worried,” Emily said. Aria nodded in agreement.

                “Do you guys want a ride?” Spencer asked. Both girls accepted, still nervous about walking around town by themselves.

                After dropping off Emily and Aria, Spencer and Hanna returned to the Hastings’ house.

                “Thanks for letting me spend the night,” Hanna said as the two girls got ready for bed. Her mom had tried to cancel her business trip, but her boss had threatened to fire her if she didn’t go. It had taken some convincing, but Hanna had gotten her mom to go. Not wanting to be home alone, she had asked Spencer if she could come over.

                “Of course. You’re always welcome here. You know that,” Spencer said. The girls both settled into Spencer’s bed, and Spencer picked up a book for her literature class. She’d read _Macbeth_ years ago, but wanted to refresh herself before their final paper was due.

"Hey Spence?" Hanna said a few minutes later, her voice quiet. Spencer looked up from her book.

"Yeah?" she asked, frowning when she saw the pain written on Hanna's face.

"What's wrong?" she asked worriedly, tossing the book to the side. 

"I lied back there... when Aria asked if any of us had actually been shocked. I was going to tell you guys, but then she said she hadn't, and Emily said she hadn't, and you said you hadn't. So I pretended I hadn't either. But that's a lie," she admitted. Spencer cautiously reached for Hanna's hand, unsure if she would accept the touch.

"Han... I don't know what to say. I’m so sorry. I don't know why A would do that," she said. Hanna shrugged.

"Maybe you all only picked me," she suggested, voicing the fear that had been on her mind since the other girls had decided the whole thing had been a twisted trick. Spencer shook her head vehemently.

"No. No way. Don’t think that for a second. I don't know how Aria or Emily picked, but I promise I didn't pick you. You're the only one I never picked, actually," she admitted. Hanna's eyebrows furrowed together.

"Me? Why?" she asked. Spencer blushed. It was a question she’d asked herself every time she guiltily pressed Aria or Emily’s button.

"I guess I thought you'd been through enough. I didn't want you to go through more pain," she explained, though she knew there was something more to it, she just couldn’t put her finger on it. Hanna gave her a grateful smile.

"Thanks. Even if it didn't work," she said. Spencer smiled back, happy to see Hanna smile. It wasn’t something that happened much since they’d gotten out of that place. She started to pick up her book again when something stopped her.

"Hey Hanna?" she asked.

"Hmm?"

"Can I kiss you?" Spencer asked nervously. The question had been on the tip of her tongue since they had been reunited in the place but she hadn't known how to ask.

"Yeah," Hanna said without hesitation. The question took her by surprise, and her own answer even more so. Spencer leaned over and pressed their lips together. It was like a light bulb went off in her head. This was why she'd been able to force herself to press Aria and Emily's buttons, but had never been able to bring herself to press Hanna's. 

"That was..." Hanna whispered breathlessly when they pulled apart.

"Amazing,” Spencer agreed. Worry flickered across Hanna’s face.

“Did you just cheat on Toby with me?” she asked in concern. She and Caleb had broken up, but as far as she knew Spencer was still a taken woman. Spencer sighed.

“No. We broke up. I don’t want to talk about it,” she said. Hanna nodded in understanding. She hadn’t wanted to talk about why she and Caleb had broken up.

“He just couldn’t understand. He tried, I know he did, but he wanted me to talk about what happened in there, and I couldn’t. He couldn’t handle that,” Spencer blurted out. Hanna nodded again.

“Caleb treated me like I was made of glass. He was afraid to touch me. And even worse, he hovered. I felt like I couldn’t breathe my own air. I was always sharing his. You know what I mean?” she asked. Spencer nodded.

“Yeah. I get it,” she said. Hanna gave her a shy look.

“Do you think I could kiss you again?” she asked. Spencer smiled and leaned in to press their lips together.

Hanna understood. They understood each other, without talking about it. And maybe that was what Spencer needed.

 


	38. I Like Your Laugh--Spanna

                “Hey Spence, what do you call a bear with no teeth?” Hanna asked. The two girls were sprawled out on Spencer’s bed, studying for the SATs. Scratch that, Spencer was studying, and Hanna was trying to distract her.

                “Unless the answer is lachrymore, I don’t see what this has to do with anything,” Spencer replied, not looking up from the prep book she’d bought. She had known it was a mistake to study with Hanna, but she’d called her anyway. Emily and Aria had both been busy, and she needed someone to quiz her.

                “I don’t know what that means, but the answer is a gummy bear. Get it? Gummy bear?” she laughed. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “Hanna, what are you going to do if you come across a question asking you to pick the word that means tearful or sad, and all you can think about is gummy bears?” she asked. Hanna shrugged.

                “I’ll guess, obviously. I mean, it’s not like this stupid test is important,” she said. Spencer pursed her lips, but resisted the urge to lecture Hanna.

                “Besides, didn’t we already tell you that you don’t need to know more big words?” Hanna joked. Spencer threw a pillow at her.

                “Ask me the next question,” she ordered. Hanna sighed and opened her own practice test. It was one her mother had presented to her a couple months ago and Hanna had never planned on actually cracking it open until Spencer insisted she help her study. She acted like she was perusing the page, and then very seriously began to ask the question.

                “Okay, what is the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?” she asked.  Spencer groaned.

                “That’s not what you’re supposed to ask me!” she exclaimed in annoyance.

                “Snow balls!” Hanna answered, giggling to herself. Spencer rolled her eyes again.

                “Why are you telling me these ridiculous jokes? The SATs are tomorrow, Hanna, and we’re supposed to be studying!” Spencer reminded her friend, frustration creeping into her voice. Hanna shrugged again.

                “I’m trying to make you laugh,” Hanna said. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

                “Why exactly are you trying to make me laugh?” she asked. Hanna blushed, a shy look crossing her face.

                “I like your laugh,” she said, as if it were obvious. Spencer straightened up a bit, flattered by her friend’s admission.

                “Oh. Well. Help me study right now, and tomorrow night we can have a movie night and watch _Bridesmaids_. Then you’ll hear me laugh for two hours straight,” she offered. Hanna stuck out her hand.

                “Deal,” she agreed. Spencer nodded, and they shook hands.

                “Okay, so let’s go to the next word. What’s the definition of blunderbuss?” Spencer asked. Hanna gave her a blank look, and Spencer sighed.

                “There are two possible answers. A blunderbuss is an ancient type of weapon, or it can also refer to a clumsy person,” Spencer read aloud. Hanna rolled her eyes.

                “Why’s it such a dumb sounding word? Who would ever use it?” Hanna asked. Spencer shrugged. She had to admit, Hanna had a point. But it was on her vocabulary list, so she was determined to know it.

                “The SATs would use it, that’s who. Your turn,” she said. Hanna sighed and started reading from the book.

                “What is the definition of tweetment?” Hanna asked seriously. Spencer frowned, thinking. She’d looked at hundreds of vocabulary lists, and this wasn’t familiar at all.

                “I don’t know…” she admitted.

                “You mean I’ve stumped Spencer Hastings?” Hanna asked with a straight face. Spencer nodded.

                “The definition of tweetment is the thing you give to a sick bird,” Hanna said, bursting out in laughter. Spencer groaned.

                “Hanna!”

                “Sorry, sorry. I’ll be serious now,” she promised. Spencer glared at her.

                “One more joke and I won’t watch _Bridesmaids_ with you tomorrow,” she threatened. Hanna held up her hands in mock innocence.

                “Okay, okay. I promise,” she agreed.

                To Spencer’s relief, Hanna actually helped her study and didn’t crack anymore jokes. And, as she promised, the next night they watched _Bridesmaids_ , and Spencer laughed the whole night.

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                            


	39. Don't Cry--Spanna

                “A lie for a lie, an eye for an eye. The bell tolls for Hanna. AD,” Spencer read aloud, her heart clenching in fear for her fiancée.

                “What does that even mean?” Aria asked, frowning at the text. The church bell chimed, and seven pairs of eyes focused on it.

                “The bell tower,” Spencer gasped, breaking out in a run toward the building. The others were hot on her heels.

                “Hanna?” she yelled, looking around frantically. She finally spotted the blonde and screamed.

                “Spencer, what is it?” Emily asked worriedly. Spencer could only point in horror as sobs overtook her body. Thick ropes were wrapped around Hanna’s waist, suspending her from the bell tower.

                “Oh my god,” Mona gasped.

                “Get her down!” Spencer screamed. Toby and Caleb both jumped into action, rushing to free Hanna’s body. After a few attempts, they managed to lower her to the ground.

                “Be gentle!” Spencer yelled, pushing them out of the way before dropping to her knees in front of Hanna. She cradled her fiancée’s face, tears dripping down her face. She allowed her head fall onto Hanna’s chest, and felt a spark of hope.

                “She’s breathing!” she exclaimed. It was faint, but her chest was rising and falling.

                “Baby, please wake up, please wake up,” she cried, undoing the ropes that were digging into Hanna’s skin. She gently massaged Hanna’s wrists, trying to restore the blood flow to her hands, which were turning a light shade of purple.

                “Please wake up, open your eyes,” Spencer begged. This couldn’t be happening. They were supposed to be getting married in a couple of weeks. She heard voices behind her, but ignored them, focusing only on the woman in front of her. She felt a hand on her shoulder, but shrugged it off.

                “Open your eyes, Hanna. Please, baby. I can’t do this without you,” she murmured, caressing Hanna’s cheek. There was blood pooled at the corner of her mouth and a bruise was forming on her cheek, making Spencer feel sick.

                “Spencer, maybe we should—” Caleb started to say, reaching out to touch Hanna. Spencer glared at him.

                “Get away from her! This is all your fault! You were supposed to make sure no one could get into that room!” she yelled, not caring if she was being irrational. He took a step back, ashamed. A small cough brought Spencer’s attention back to Hanna.

                “Spence?” Hanna whispered, disoriented and in pain. Spencer scooped her into her arms, sobbing into Hanna’s shoulder.

                “Don’t cry,” Hanna said softly, which only made Spencer cry harder.

                “I thought I’d lost you,” Spencer cried. Hanna managed a small smile and rubbed Spencer’s back. She frowned at the sight of her hand.

                “My ring. It’s gone,” she said. Spencer grasped Hanna’s hand, squeezing it lightly.

                “I’m a bit more concerned with you than your ring. Did AD hurt you?” she asked, realizing what a stupid question it was even as she asked it. Of course AD had hurt her. There was a bruise on her face and chafing on her wrists that proved it. Hanna swallowed heavily and her eyes darted around the room. Spencer immediately took the hint.

                “Come on, let’s go home,” she said, standing up. She offered Hanna her hand, and the blonde stood unsteadily.

                “We’re going home. Alone,” Spencer announced to the room. There were protests from everyone besides Toby and Ezra, but a swift glare shut them up.

                “Do you want a ride?” Toby asked. Spencer glanced at Hanna, checking to make sure it was okay. The blonde nodded.

                “That’d be great,” she said.

                “We’ll come over tomorrow,” Emily promised. Spencer and Hanna both nodded and followed Toby to his squad car.

                “You two will be all right alone?” Toby asked. Spencer nearly rolled her eyes at his protectiveness, though she did appreciate it.

                “Yeah. Luckily everyone’s already cleared out. God that would be a mess,” she mused. Toby chuckled, imagining them trying to explain this to _Senator_ Hastings.

                “How’d your mom do?” Hanna asked, speaking for the first time.

                “She won,” Spencer said proudly. Hanna smiled, happy that all of Spencer’s hard work had paid off.

                “All right. We’re here,” Toby announced, pulling up to the barn. Spencer thanked him again and led Hanna inside.

                “Do you want a cup of tea?” she offered. Hanna shrugged.

                “I want to change clothes,” she said. Spencer nodded and followed Hanna into the bedroom. She pulled out an old t-shirt and some sweatpants and offered them to her. Hanna hesitated.

                “Do you want me to leave?” Spencer asked, hurt passing over her face. Hanna shook her head.

                “No… I just… Don’t freak out, okay?” she said. Spencer nodded. Hanna took off her shirt to reveal an array of bruises. Spencer inhaled sharply.

                “What the hell happened?” she asked.

                “I’m not sure exactly. When… When they took me, they hit me on the head and pulled me into a hole in the floor. It was a tight passageway. I got banged around a little. And there was something in the trunk that hit me every time we turned a corner or came to a stop,” she said matter-of-factly. Spencer took a deep breath, trying to keep her promise not to freak out.

                “They put you in the trunk?” she asked. Hanna nodded.

                “Wait, you said they hit your head?” Spencer asked. Another nod. Spencer bit her lip, hating what she was about to say.

                “Han, I know you probably just want to go to sleep, but…”

                “But you’re worried that I could have a concussion, yeah I figured,” Hanna said, rolling her eyes. Spencer smiled.

                “You know me too well,” she said. Hanna smiled back.

                “Will you stay up with me?” she asked. Spencer raised an eyebrow, and led her back into the living room. She sat down on the couch, and Hanna curled into her side.

                “Actually I thought I’d go get some beauty sleep while you stayed up,” she joked. Hanna smacked Spencer’s hand lightly.

                “You were right,” Hanna said quietly. Spencer frowned.

                “About what?”

                “About this being a stupid plan. I should have listened to you,” she admitted. Spencer nodded and kissed the top of Hanna’s head.

                “I should have tried harder to stop you,” Spencer said. Hanna rolled her eyes.

                “Please, like you could have stopped me. We both know I’m not good at listening,” she said self deprecatingly. Spencer frowned again.

                “You’re safe now. That’s all that matters,” she said finally. Hanna snuggled closer to Spencer.

                “Will you talk about something? Anything?” she asked. Spencer thought for a minute, then recalled a story her mother used to tell her when she was little. Bedtime stories were one of the few activities Veronica and Peter had actively engaged in. Of course, once she and Melissa could read, it was them reading stories to their parents, so Spencer suspected it had more to do with education than bonding. Still, she would never forget this story.

                She began telling the silly tale of homesick cats, first making Hanna promise not to fall asleep. The blonde listened contently, her fingers fiddling with the ring on Spencer’s hand. When Spencer finished, she looked down at the girl in her arms and sighed. She wasn’t surprised that Hanna had fallen asleep. As long as she checked on her in a while, she supposed sleep would be okay. Setting a timer on her phone for an hour and a half, Spencer closed her own eyes, holding Hanna tight in her arms. Before she fell asleep, Spencer vowed that they would find AD once and for all, because she had a wedding to have.


	40. I Made This For You--Sparia

                Aria bit her lip in concentration, trying to put the finishing touches on the scarf she was knitting. She’d been working on it for two months, and it was almost done. A good thing too, since it was Christmas Eve and she was planning to give it to Spencer the next day. She had something else for her girlfriend too, but after all the work she’d put into it, it would have been disappointing if she hadn’t finished the scarf in time.

                She’d been somewhat of an expert knitter back in high school, but she’d mostly stopped somewhere around the time A appeared in her life. She’d become distracted by other things, and hadn’t had time to knit. But as an adult, she’d picked the hobby up again, and she’d been determined to make something pretty for her girlfriend. Since the other woman was constantly cold, a scarf was an easy choice.

                “Aria, are you coming to bed?” Spencer asked, poking her head in the office they shared. Aria tried to hide what she was doing, but Spencer saw.

                “Spencer! Don’t you know how to knock?” Aria snapped. Spencer raised an eyebrow, startled by her girlfriend’s harsh tone.

                “I do, but I usually don’t knock on open door,” she replied coolly. Aria sighed.

                “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were home. I thought you were still out with Hanna,” she said. Spencer sat down next to Aria.

                “What are you working on?” she asked softly, looking at the pretty teal scarf Aria was knitting. Aria sighed again.

                “I made this for you. It was supposed to be for tomorrow,” she explained. Spencer made a show of covering her eyes with her hand.

                “I didn’t see anything!” she said seriously. Aria rolled her eyes and removed Spencer’s hand from her face.

                “It’s okay. Do you like it?” she asked, holding it up for Spencer to get a better look. Spencer nodded.

                “It’s beautiful. I love it. Can I wear it tomorrow?” she asked. Aria nodded.

                “Of course you can,” she said. The couple was going to Aria’s parents’ house for Christmas this year. They had had a nice dinner with Spencer’s parents and Melissa the previous weekend, and they’d meet up with Hanna and Caleb and Emily and Paige for dinner tomorrow night. Ella had invited them to come over on Christmas Eve, but they couple had politely declined, deciding they wanted it to just be the two of them.

                “Do you like the color?” Aria asked worriedly. Spencer nodded.

                “Yeah, it’s beautiful,” she repeated, admiring the scarf.

                “I can’t believe you made this. When did you have time? I haven’t even seen you working on it!” she said. Aria shrugged.

                “I knit while you’re at work and sometimes after you’ve gone to sleep,” she explained. Spencer frowned.

                “I thought you were working on your novel when you stayed up at night,” she accused. Another shrug from Aria.

                “I do, sometimes. But sometimes I just use that as an excuse to come in here and knit. I didn’t want you to see it before it was done,” she said. Spencer winced guiltily.

                “Sorry I ruined the surprise,” she said. Aria laughed and kissed her.

                “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I was the one who left the door wide open,” she pointed out.

                “Do you want to go make cookies with me? I thought I’d take them to your parents’ house tomorrow,” she suggested. Aria nodded.

                “Yeah, I’ll be out in a second,” she said. Spencer nodded and left her alone again. As Aria finished up with the scarf, she felt a surge of pride. She’d made something out of nothing, and Spencer liked it. She was surprised by the sense of accomplishment she felt. She put away her needles and yarn and went to join Spencer in the kitchen. A merry Christmas, indeed.


	41. Go Back to Sleep--Spanna

"Hanna? Baby, what's wrong?" Spencer asked groggily, pulled out of sleep by the sound of her girlfriend crying. The blonde froze up, embarrassed at being caught.

"It's nothing. Go back to sleep," she said, her voice thick with tears. Spencer frowned and turned over.

"Han, if you're crying it's not nothing. Talk to me," she said softly, rubbing Hanna's back. 

"It's stupid. You're going to think I'm stupid," Hanna said in a small voice. Spencer kissed her shoulder, trying to reassure her.

"I'm not going to think you're stupid. Anything that has you this upset isn't stupid," she protested. Hanna sighed and turned over to face her girlfriend.

"I had a nightmare. About the dollhouse," she admitted. Spencer stiffened and Hanna immediately regretted ever opening her mouth.

"This is why I didn't want to tell you. I know how much thinking about that place upsets you! I shouldn't have said anything. Just forget it," she mumbled. Spencer shook her head, shaking away memories of being covered in mysterious blood. 

"I'm fine. Tell me about your nightmare," Spencer said, trying to keep her voice steady. 

"That file we found said that Jessica authorized electroshock therapy for Mary," Hanna said, shivering as she thought about the previous night. 

"Yeah?" Spencer responded, confused by the change of subject. Hanna sighed again.

"Jessica let those doctors torture her sister. Do you think she let them do it to Charlotte too?" she asked. She felt rather than saw Spencer shrug.

"I don't know. Maybe. But she loved Charlotte, so maybe not. Why? Where's all of this coming from?" she asked. She had a sinking suspicion she knew where Hanna’s thoughts were going, and she didn’t like it.

"What if Charlotte shocked us in the dollhouse as revenge for what Jessica did to her or Mary?" she asked in a whisper. Spencer squeezed her eyes shut, bombarded by memories of being strapped to a chair, connected to wires. She could still feel the agony of electricity running through her body. Without thinking, she pulled Hanna to her chest. The blonde gasped at the sudden embrace, but quickly put her arm around Spencer's waist.

"Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. And I'm not going to lie. That thought occurred to me when I saw that in the file," Spencer admitted. 

"I don’t understand, though. It wasn't our fault. We had nothing to do with it. Why would Charlotte want to torture us in the same way her mother was tortured?" Hanna asked. Spencer felt hot tears fall from Hanna's face onto her chest, and squeezed her girlfriend tighter.

"I don't know, baby. Charlotte was sick. She did a lot of things we can't explain," she said. Hanna nodded.

"That doesn't make it any easier to live with," she whispered. Spencer sighed and pressed a kiss to the top of Hanna's head.

"I know, baby. Is that what your nightmare was about? What happened in the dollhouse?" she asked. Hanna didn't answer for a long moment, and Spencer wondered if she'd pushed too far. Over the last five years of their relationship, both girls had learned that they could only push so much after a nightmare until the other shut down. 

"It wasn't about me," Hanna said finally. Spencer frowned. She hadn’t been expecting that to come out of her girlfriend’s mouth.

"What?"

"My nightmare. It wasn't about me. There's something... There's something I've never told you," she said quietly. Spencer waited, trying to be patient with whatever information her girlfriend was clearly having trouble trying to share.

"One day I woke up and there was a giant tv in my room. For days, it played videos of you being shocked over and over and over again. I could see the burns multiplying on your skin, so I knew it wasn’t on a loop. You were screaming and crying... I would have given anything to have switched places with you," she admitted, tears streaming down her face. Spencer choked back a sob and held Hanna closer.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry you had to see that," she whispered, her own tears falling. Hanna chuckled.

"You're apologizing to me? Seriously?" she asked. Spencer ran her fingers through Hanna's hair, the act comforting her as much as the blonde. She debated whether or not she should tell Hanna that Charlotte had done the same thing to her.

"Spit it out, Spence," Hanna said, sensing that there was something her girlfriend wanted to say. Her words might seem harsh to someone who didn't know the couple, but Spencer knew she wasn't angry.

"She did the same thing to me. With the tv. Some days it was you, other days it was Aria or Emily. But it's over. We survived that place. We made it out. We're safe now," Spencer said, the words almost a mantra.

"Are we?" Hanna asked, recalling the twenty four hours she'd been locked in some cabin. Spencer sighed and kissed Hanna's forehead.

“Is something besides this dream bothering you?” she asked softly. The two had been in a relationship long enough that they could read each other in a heartbeat. Hanna hesitated.

“We think that Noel Kahn is Mary’s other baby,” she said. Spencer nodded, once again lost.

“I know you’ve seen the marks, Spence. You know I was shocked in there. Not the same way as in the dollhouse, but… That can’t be a coincidence. I mean, who’s first thought is to shock people unless there’s something inspiring them?” she asked. Spencer kissed the top of Hanna’s head, but didn’t interrupt her. This was the first time Hanna had willingly spoken about what happened while she had been gone.

“How many times am I going to be tortured for a decision Jessica fucking Dilaurentis made?” she asked, her voice breaking. Tears once again began to soak Spencer’s shirt, but she didn’t care.

“Never again, baby. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you ever again,” Spencer swore.

“You can’t promise that. But thank you,” Hanna said. Spencer’s heart broke. She knew she couldn’t promise Hanna her safety. But she was going to do her damndest to make sure nothing happened to the girl again.

“We’re safe, baby. You’re safe,” she murmured, trying to lull Hanna back to sleep. Hanna nuzzled Spencer’s chest.

“We are?” Hanna asked drowsily, exhausted from her crying fit. Spencer rubbed her back gently.

"We are tonight." 

 


	42. Is This Okay? --Spanna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to "Just Because"

Spencer's kisses were gentle and tentative, as if concerned she would hurt Hanna with one wrong move. It wasn't until the blonde began tugging her closer and deepening the kiss that she started to add intensity. 

"I'm not going to break," Hanna pointed out, her hands moving underneath Spencer's shirt. The brunette shivered. Taking the hint, Spencer began to undress Hanna, dropping the fabric on the floor. It didn't take long for both girls to lose the top half of their clothing. Spencer stifled a gasp at the sight of the burns left on Hanna from that night. The blonde turned her head, ashamed of her marred skin. Spencer gently cupped Hanna's breast, her thumb hovering over the scar.

"Is this okay?" she asked softly, unsure if the burns still hurt. Hanna looked at her, confusion in her eyes.

"You can touch it, if that's what you're asking. It itches and there are flashes of pain sometimes, but mostly it doesn't hurt anymore," she said. To her own surprise, Spencer leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the scar.

"Sorry," she apologized when Hanna shuddered. Hanna gave her a look that could almost be read as amusement. 

"It didn't hurt. That was a reaction to your mouth on my tit," she said, enjoying the way Spencer's cheeks flushed at her words. Then, with a determined glean in her eyes, Spencer leaned down and left a trail of kisses starting with the scar and ending above the top of Hanna's jeans. 

"Never disappear like that again," Spencer growled, her fingers toying with the zipper to Hanna's jeans. Guilt flooded Hanna, and she realized they couldn't continue this until she came clean.

"Wait. Stop," Hanna said, her hand covering Spencer's. The brunette pulled her hand away as if she'd been burned.

"I'm sorry! I'm going too fast, I'm sorry," Spencer apologized. Hanna shook her head.

"No, it's not that... there's just something I need to tell you and I don't want to tell you because you'll get mad but I don't feel right taking this any further without telling you," she rambled. Spencer raised an eyebrow and sat up, pulling her shirt on over her head.

"Are you leaving?" Hanna asked, upset. Spencer's eyebrow rose higher.

"Where would I be going? This is my house," she reminded her. Hanna blushed.

"It sounds like you have something important to say. I thought we should concentrate on that, which I can’t do if you’re topless," she explained, handing Hanna her shirt. The blonde accepted it and took a deep breath.

"I lied about where I've been," she said quietly, not looking at Spencer. 

"I figured as much," Spencer said. Hanna's eyes flickered up in surprise. She knew her lie hadn’t been great, but she’d thought her friends all bought it.

"You did?" she asked. Spencer nodded.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Hanna questioned. If there was one thing that she knew about Spencer, it was that she was like a dog with a bone. Once she wanted to know something, she didn’t stop until she got it. Spencer shrugged.

"I was just relieved that you were okay," she said. The words only made Hanna feel guiltier. 

"I have Noel Kahn tied up in a cabin," she whispered. Spencer's eyes widened in surprise, but she didn't interrupt.

"Mona's the only person who knows. I called her after I saw that the police were looking for me on the news. I'm sorry I lied to you," she said. Still, Spencer didn't respond. Hanna squeezed her eyes shut, feeling panic rise up in her chest. Spencer hated her, she was going to kick her out, she--

"How did you manage to kidnap a man twice your size?" Spencer asked finally. 

"I was going to roofie him, but he wouldn't drink the beer, so I followed him home and hit him with a baseball bat. Look, I caught him throwing away Sara Harvey's phone. He killed her. He didn't admit it, but he said if I didn't stop poking around I would end up like her, which is practically admitting he did it since the police ruled it an accident."

"Hold on. He threatened to kill you?" Spencer practically snarled. Hanna nodded. 

"He's AD, Spence," she said. Spencer sighed and nodded slowly. 

"So you're not mad at me?" Hanna asked after a minute of silence. An unreadable look passed over Spencer's face.

"Are you kidding me? Of course I'm mad at you! You disappear, you scare the hell out of me, you kidnap a guy who just threatened to kill you, a guy who we sent the police to find... I'm pissed as hell!" she exclaimed. Tears pooled in Hanna's eyes.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice breaking. Spencer sighed.

"I know," Spencer said, pulling Hanna into a hug. 

"I'm sorry I worried you," Hanna said, letting her head rest on Spencer's shoulder. She felt Spencer press a kiss to the top of her head.

"I know. And I understand why you did it. Your... plan was terrible, and you never should have done this without telling us, but I understand why you did it. Hanna, I feel terrible that you've been dealing with this alone," she said. Hanna shrugged.

"It's not like I was willing to let anyone help. Aria tried to get me to talk to her. I didn't want you guys to know what happened."

"Why not?” she asked. Hanna shrugged again.

“I was embarrassed that I let it happen to me. And it hurt to talk about. It still hurts to talk about it. Trust me, none of this is your fault,” Hanna reassured.

“I still should have tried harder. I was afraid that if I was around you, I would end up admitting how I felt about you, and I didn't know if you were ready for anything like that," Spencer admitted. Hanna lifted her head and offered her a small smile.

"I'm ready to find out," she said.

"We need to deal with this Noel situation," Spencer reminded her. "And I don't know what we're going to do... He'll probably go straight to the police when we let him go--"

"We're going to let him go?" Hanna interrupted. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

"Were you planning on keeping him forever?" she asked. Hanna blushed again, feeling stupid.  

"I didn't really have a plan beyond getting him to admit that he killed Sara. I was going to record it so I could show it to the police," she said. Spencer sighed, frustrated with the blonde's lack of foresight.

"But he hasn't admitted it?" she asked. Hanna shook her head.

"Maybe we could get him to agree not to tell. Say if he goes to the police with this, we go to the police with the flash drive," Hanna suggested. Spencer winced.

"We don't have the flash drive, remember?"

"Well you made copies of it, obviously," Hanna said. Spencer flushed with embarrassment. She should have thought of that.

"But I didn't," she said. Hanna raised an eyebrow.

"So? Noel doesn't know that," she pointed out. Spencer nodded slowly. It could work...

"So should we go do this now?" Spencer asked. Hanna shook her head.

"Mona's dealing with him tonight. Besides, there are cops on your doorstep. We'll do it tomorrow," she said. Spencer nodded. 

"Okay. Do you want to continue our previous activities?"

Hanna's grin was the only answer she needed.

 


	43. I Picked These For You--Spanna

                Hospitals had always freaked Hanna out. They smelled funny, and were full of old and sick people. She had always done her best to avoid stepping foot in them, but unfortunately getting hit by a car was beyond her control. So here she was, stuck in a smelly room with falsely cheery nurses and hallucinations of her dead best friend.

                “How are you feeling today?” Spencer asked, walking into the room. Hanna frowned, surprised that Spencer was alone.

                “Where are Aria and Emily?” she asked, ignoring Spencer’s question. The brunette’s face fell.

                “Oh. I left school early for a doctor’s appointment, and since there was no point in going back for a half hour, I thought I’d just stop in by myself. Emily and Aria will be here later. Do you want me to leave?” she asked. Hanna shook her head and patted the space next to her.

                “Of course not. I was just surprised. I don’t even know what time it is,” she explained. Spencer nodded and sat down on the edge of her bed. She dug into her purse and pulled out a couple of magazines.

                “I picked these for you,” she said, handing Hanna the magazines. Hanna’s face lit up at the sight of _People’s Most Beautiful_. It was her favorite issue of the year. Despite her excitement, she didn’t start immediately reading it.

                “Thanks, Spence. I’ve been bored to tears in here,” she complained. Spencer gave a sympathetic grimace. She could remember when she had mono a couple years ago and had been bedridden for a month.

                “I’m sure. When can you go home?” she asked.

                “Tomorrow,” she said. Neither girl said anything for a few minutes. Working up her courage, Hanna took a deep breath.

                “Spence, can I ask you something?” she asked. Spencer nodded, concerned by her friend’s nervous tone.

                “Have you ever… Have you ever thought you saw Alison?” she asked quietly. Spencer was silent for a long pause.

                “For a long time, anytime I saw a blonde haired girl, I thought it was Ali. I’d see her in the mall, at school, everywhere. One time I actually ran up to a girl and grabbed her arm, thinking it was Ali. But I was just imagining things, obviously. It hasn’t happened since they found her body,” she said, sadly remembering the encounter.

                “Why? Have you ever thought you saw her?” Spencer asked. Hanna nodded, deciding to jump in the deep end without warming up.

                “She was here, Spence. In my room. I saw her, last night,” she said. Spencer frowned.

                “Han, she’s dead. She wasn’t here,” she said. Hanna shook her head.

                “She was.  I swear, I saw her,” she repeated. Spencer gave her a sad smile and squeezed her hand.

                “You’re on pain medications. It was probably just a nurse checking in on you, and you were dreaming and thought it was Ali. It happens,” she said softly. Hanna squeezed her eyes shut.

                “I know it sounds crazy. But I know what I saw, Spence. I saw Alison,” she insisted. Spencer sighed. She really didn’t want to argue with her friend right now, especially when there wasn’t a right answer. How did you convince someone they didn’t see something?

                “We went to her funeral, Han,” she reminded her. Hanna pursed her lips.

                “We went to _a_ funeral. She’d been dead for a year! How could they be so sure it was her? It could have been anyone buried there!” she exclaimed. Spencer sighed again, but decided not to launch into how autopsies and forensic investigations worked. Hanna probably wouldn’t listen to her anyway.

                “I have to go to field hockey practice. Will you be okay alone?” Spencer asked. Hanna nodded.

                “Of course. I’ve got Julia Roberts to keep me company,” she joked, holding up the magazine. Spencer smiled softly.

                “Okay. I think Aria will be here soon. I’ll see you later, okay?” she asked. Hanna nodded again.

                “Okay. Thanks again for bringing these,” she said, gesturing to the magazines. Spencer leaned down and kissed her friend’s forehead before leaving Hanna alone again.

                Hanna sighed and opened up the magazine, trying to erase the image behind her eyes. She’d seen Alison last night. Her dead friend had been there, and Hanna didn’t believe in ghosts. Whether or not Spencer believed her, she knew what she’d seen. She just needed to prove it.

                In the meantime, though, she’d have to settle for celebrity gossip and the latest fashion blunders.


	44. I'll Drive You to the Hospital--Paily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Self harm/attempted suicide

Emily sat up, blinking, trying to figure out what had woke her up. She’ thought she’d heard a noise. Had it been a dream? No, it had been her phone. She grabbed at it eagerly, probably too eagerly, wondering if it was Paige responding to her earlier message. No, that couldn't be right. It was the middle of the night. Even if Paige was shaken up about the rat in her locker, she wouldn't be calling back at this hour. She squinted at the text, and panic filled her at the message.  _Help. Please._  That was all Paige's message said. As quickly and quietly as possible, Emily slipped out of the house, thankful that Pam was a heavy sleeper. She drove to Paige's house, breaking about five traffic laws in the process. She banged on the door, but no one answered. Her panic growing, she rooted around for the spare key kept in a potted plant and let herself in.

"Paige?" she called, unsure if the girl's parents were home. No answer. She rushed up to Paige's room and paused outside the door. She could hear muffled cries coming from inside. Swallowing her worries, she opened the door. Immediately, she felt her blood run cold. Paige was curled up on the bed, sobbing, a puddle of blood forming on the sheets beneath her wrist.

"Paige? Oh my god," Emily gasped, rushing over to her ex girlfriend.

"I'm so sorry. I sorry, I shouldn't have told to the police about Alison. I'm so sorry," Paige sobbed. Emily frowned. Had Paige hurt herself because of her?

"I mess everything up. I can't do this, I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry."

"Paige, come on, get up," Emily said sternly, wrapping an old shirt around Paige's wrist to try to stop the bleeding. Paige had cut deep, though, and the blood quickly soaked through. She could smell the alcohol on Paige's breath.

"What are you doing here?" Paige asked, looking at Emily with unfocused eyes.

"Get up. I'll drive you to the hospital," she said. Paige stood, but still seemed confused. 

"Why are you here?" Paige asked, allowing Emily to support her weight as they walked to the car. Emily's frown deepened.

"You texted me, remember?" she asked. 

"I got your message," Paige said. She didn't remember texting her, but she must have.

"It won't be a dead rat next time. It'll be a dead me. She'll kill me," Paige said, her eyes wide with fear. Emily buckled Paige's seatbelt and hopped into the driver's side.

"Nobody is going to kill you," Emily said. Paige shook her head.

"They will. Everybody wants to kill me. Alison did. Nate did. Now Mona does," she slurred. Emily shot her a worried look, noticing that her eyes were dropping.

"Paige, you need to stay awake. Stay awake for me, okay? We're almost to the hospital," Emily said. Paige didn't seem to register her presence anymore. Emily accelerated, praying they made it to the hospital on time.

\---

Paige woke up to blinding lights and a throbbing wrist. She forced her eyes open and was shocked by the sight in front of her. Emily was asleep, her head resting on Paige's stomach. She was holding Paige's unbandaged hand.

"Em?" she questioned, wondering if she was hallucinating. Emily startled and sat up.

"Paige! Oh thank god," she exclaimed, tears pooling in her eyes. Paige frowned. Why was Emily crying over her?

"Where am I?" she asked. Emily's face scrunched up in concern and she stroked Paige's cheek gently.

"You're in the hospital," she said softly. 

"You brought me here?" she asked. Emily nodded.

"I'm sorry I bothered you," Paige said. Emily shook her head, her hand still touching Paige's face.

"Why would you do that? Why would you try to...?" she trailed off, the words too difficult for her to say. Paige sighed and looked down.

"I wasn't trying to do anything. I just... I needed to feel something, something besides... I don't know how to explain it. But I wasn't trying to kill myself. Someone else will do that soon enough," she said. Emily frowned.

"Don't say that. No one is going to hurt you," she said. Paige shook her head.

"Don't you get it? Yesterday was just a warning. Next time she'll kill me," Paige said. Emily sighed.

"There won't be a next time. You only gave me info because I pressured you, and I'm not going to do that again," Emily said firmly. 

"Why are you even here?" Paige asked, suddenly uncomfortable. She missed Emily every second of every day, and as good as it felt to having Emily here, touching her, it was only going to hurt her more in the long run.

"I wasn't going to leave you alone," Emily said. Paige grimaced.

"You should go home," Paige said. Emily shook her head and squeezed Paige's hand. 

"I'm not going anywhere," she promised. Paige squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears away.

"Emily, please. You're just making it harder. You're going to leave eventually. Just go," she begged.

"Paige. Look at me," Emily ordered. Paige opened her eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere," Emily repeated. It was too much. Paige turned her head to the side, unable to keep the tears from falling. To her amazement, Emily slipped into the bed next to her and pulled her into her arms.

"It's okay. You're okay. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. Everything's going to be okay," Emily promised. Paige cried onto Emily's shoulder, wishing that the words were true.

"Nothing's changed, Emily. I still told the police about Alison and you still hate me for it," she whispered. Emily sighed and ran her fingers through Paige's hair.

"I never hated you, Paige. I was angry, but I never hated you. And something has changed," she said. Paige frowned.

"What?" she asked.

"In the car... You passed out. I was so afraid I was going to lose you. And I realized that I don't want to live in a world you're not part of," she said. More tears fell from Paige's eyes.

"Kiss me?" she asked. Emily leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to Paige's lips.

"Go to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up," she promised. Paige closed her eyes, letting the sound of Emily's heartbeat lull her to sleep. 

True to her word, Emily was in the exact same place when Paige opened her eyes the next morning.

 


	45. What Do You Want to Watch?--Sparia

                It was a lazy Friday night in the Hastings-Montgomery night. The kids were both spending the night at their Auntie Hanna’s house so Aria and Spencer could have a date night. Except both women had come home, taken one look at each other, and simultaneously asked if the other wanted to spend the night in. They’d then burst out laughing and decided to order in Chinese food and watch a movie together.

                Since having little Harper almost a year ago and Millie three years before that, the couple’s romantic life had slowed down. They were still good in the bedroom—perfect, in fact—but they hadn’t been on a date in probably two years. It wasn’t something that bothered them, they loved their children and loved spending time with them, but sometimes they just felt like they needed a break. Unfortunately, between raising two children and having full time jobs, they were both exhausted.

                “What do you want to watch?” Spencer asked, flipping through the various categories on Netflix. They were waiting for their food to arrive and she wanted to have a movie picked out before it got there. Otherwise, they could easily spend the entire night trying to agree on something. Aria shrugged.

                “I dunno, what do you want to watch?” she asked. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “I asked you first,” she said.

                “I asked you second!” Aria countered. For the second time that evening, they both burst out laughing.

                “Oh my god, we are clearly spending way too much time with children under the age of five,” she laughed. Spencer nodded in agreement.

                “I haven’t watched anything besides Disney and Pixar movies in so long I don’t know how to watch movies like an adult,” she admitted.

                “We could watch anything,” Aria realized in amazement. “We could watch something rated PG-13.”

                “We could watch something rated R!” Spencer corrected. Aria nodded, her eyes wide with excitement.  They both considered the endless possibilities for a minute.

                “Is it weird that I miss them?” Aria asked. Spencer shook her head.

                “Is it weird that I want to put on _The Little Mermaid_?” Spencer answered. Aria nodded.

                “Yes, that is weird. Millie insists on listening to the soundtrack on the way to school every single day and I swear that I’m going to scream if I hear ‘Part of Your World’ one more time,” she complained. Spencer laughed.

                “See, on the way home she only wants to listen to _Aladdin._ ‘A Whole New World’ was my favorite song when I was a kid, and now I hate it!” she exclaimed. Aria joined her laughter.

                “Can you believe we’re actually missing them? We’ve been complaining nonstop about how much we need a night to ourselves and here we are wishing they were here!” Aria exclaimed. Spencer nodded in agreement.

                “It _is_ our first night away from Harper,” she said.

                “We should probably call Hanna, make sure she’s doing okay,” Aria suggested. Spencer nodded again.

                “She _is_ all alone with three little ones,” she agreed, ignoring the fact that Caleb was there too.

                “And it can be really hard to get Harper to go to sleep, and that’ll drive Hanna crazy,” Spencer added.

“She’d call if there was a problem, though. Maybe we should leave it alone,” Aria said, though her fingers were itching to pick up the phone. Before either of them could impulsively call Hanna, there was a knock at the door.

                “I guess the food’s here,” Spencer said, going to answer the door. She brought the cartons into the living room, forgoing plates. They put on some old movie that neither of them cared about, and picked at their food. Halfway through, Spencer paused it.

                “Do you want to go check on the girls? Just to make sure everything’s okay?” she asked. Aria nodded in relief.

                “Yes! I’m so glad you said it first. I didn’t want to seem like one of those crazy moms who can’t be away from her kids for one night!” she exclaimed. Spencer shook her head.

                “No, it’s not crazy! You were still breastfeeding Harper until a month ago. We should go over there, just to check on them.”

                An hour later, Spencer and Aria were curled up on the couch with their two daughters, watching _The Little Mermaid._


	46. You Can Go First--Spanna

                “So how exactly is this going to work?” Hanna asked, flipping through a bridal magazine. Spencer glanced up at her before turning back to her laptop.          

                “How is what going to work?” she asked. Hanna huffed. She’d been talking about this for twenty minutes, and Spencer had mostly grunted and ‘mm-hmm-ed’ her. She should have known she wasn’t really listening.

                “Walking down the aisle at the wedding. Obviously usually the groom stands at the front and the bride—”

                “I know how weddings work, babe,” Spencer interrupted. Just like Hanna should have known Spencer was tuning her out, Spencer should have known Hanna was talking about their upcoming wedding. And by upcoming, she meant “date still to be determined”. She’d only proposed to Hanna a month ago. In that month, however, Hanna had been planning her heart out.

                “Okay, so how is our wedding going to work? I know I want to walk down the aisle, but you probably want to walk down the aisle too. So what do we do?” she asked. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

                “One of us walks and then the other one does?” she suggested, feeling like it was a fairly obvious solution. Hanna considered.

                “Who goes first?” she asked. Spencer shrugged.

                “You can go first,” she offered. More consideration on Hanna’s part. 

                “You don’t mind?” Hanna asked. Spencer moved her laptop to the side, giving her fiancé her full attention.

                “Hanna, I would be perfectly fine with walking into the courthouse right now. I want to marry you. How that happens isn’t important to me. Yes, if we’re having a wedding I’d like to have my dad walk me down the aisle. But the order we do it in really isn’t important to me. So if it makes a difference to you, then you can decide. Honestly, I’m leaving a lot of the details of this wedding up to you because otherwise you’ll probably just change whatever I plan,” she said. Hanna pretended to look scandalized.

                “I would not! Am I making you feel excluded from wedding planning? I thought you weren’t interested, but if you’re staying out because you think I won’t listen—”

                “Hanna! Calm down. I was joking. You’ve been planning your wedding since you were a little girl. I want you to feel like everything is perfect. Like I said, the marriage is the part that’s important to me, not the wedding. If I feel strongly about something, I’ll let you know. I promise,” she said. Hanna relaxed.

                “Okay. I know I can be a little bit headstrong about this…” Hanna admitted. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “Hanna, have you ever known me to be quiet about something if I have an opinion on it?” she asked. Hanna laughed.

                “Point taken. By the way, have you heard from Melissa?” Hanna asked. Spencer groaned.

                “Ugh, no. I feel like she’s ignoring me,” she said. She’d wanted to wear her mother’s wedding dress for the wedding, but when she’d called Veronica, she’d been informed that Melissa had the dress. Apparently Veronica had given it to her back when Melissa was engaged to Wren. Of course, the wedding had never occurred, but Melissa had never returned the dress.

                “Do you want me to call her? As you’ve pointed out, I can be scary when it comes to wedding planning,” Hanna said. Spencer shook her head.

                “No, it’s okay. I’ll try calling her again tomorrow. And she can’t ignore me forever. Besides, it’s not the end of the world if I can’t wear the dress,” she said. Hanna had a feeling Spencer cared more than she was letting on, but she didn’t say anything.

                “What do you think about September?” Hanna asked. Spencer frowned, lost by Hanna’s sudden change in subject.

                “For what?” she asked. Hanna rolled her eyes exaggeratedly.

                “For the wedding. If we wanted to do outdoors, it would be a good time. Not too hot, not too cold. Plus we could do it over Labor Day Weekend to make it easier for everyone to be in town,” she explained. Spencer nodded.

                “I’m good with September. But do you really want an outdoor wedding? What if it rains?” she asked.

                “I thought about that. But remember how beautiful Byron and Ella’s wedding was?” Hanna said wistfully. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

                “I wasn’t invited, remember?” she pointed out. Hanna blushed. It’d been her own fault Spencer hadn’t been invited to that wedding. Aria had been trying to protect Hanna, since Spencer had been dating Caleb, and she was afraid it would be weird if they’d all been there.

                “Well it was beautiful. Our wedding will be bigger than that, of course, but I still think outdoor weddings are beautiful. Mom offered the Radley up for the reception, but I said there was no way in hell we were having our wedding associated with that place,” Hanna said.

                “Thanks,” Spencer said softly. Hanna gave a quick nod, not dwelling on the topic. The Radley had never held good memories for Spencer—for obvious reasons—but it’d been even worse when Spencer discovered that she’d actually been born there. Since then, she’d refused to stop foot in the place.

                “What about my parents’ backyard? It’s bigger than Ella and Byron’s and we could probably get Alison to agree to let us use her backyard as well,” Spencer suggested. Hanna jotted something down in her wedding planning notebook.

                “That’s a really good idea,” Hanna said approvingly. The two had decided to hold their wedding in Rosewood, despite the fact that they lived in Philadelphia. Both of their families lived in Rosewood, as did Emily, Aria, and Alison.

                “Is September too soon? That’s only seven months away. Is that too short of an engagement?” Hanna asked, her subject jumping giving Spencer whiplash.

                “No, it’s not too soon. Long engagements are overrated,” Spencer said. Hanna nodded in agreement and made another note.

                “Will you call your parents and confirm that we can use the backyard, and I’ll call Alison?” Hanna asked. Spencer nodded.

                “Yeah, sure,” she said. A curious look crossed Hanna’s face.

                “Do you want me to take your name?” she asked. Spencer furrowed her eyebrows.

                “I mean, you can if you want, but I don’t expect you too,” she said, wondering if Hanna was going to ask her to change her last name.

                “We could hyphenate,” Hanna suggested shyly. Spencer nodded. She leaned in and gently kissed her fiancé.

                “Nothing would make me happier than being Spencer Hastings-Marin.”


	47. Did You Get My Letter?--Paily

                Paige was in the locker room after swim practice, reading the note she’d found in her locker earlier that day.

                _Dear Paige,_

_I know this might be unexpected, but I had to tell you. I think you’re so sexy in the pool. When I see you, I can’t control myself. I want to kiss you and touch you. I can’t tell anyone else right now or my boyfriend Ben will be furious. I’m going to break up with him, but I wanted to know if you share my feelings first. I think you do, but I needed to make sure. I hope you don’t mind me leaving this in your locker, but I need you to deliver mine somewhere else. If Ben sees it in my locker, he’ll kill me, and my mom would freak out. If you feel the same way, leave a response at the bike rack in front of The Brew. Drop it off tomorrow afternoon right after school._

_Kisses,_

_Emily_

She heard someone walking in and scrambled to hide the note. She looked up, shocked by the face in front of her.

                “Emily,” she breathed nervously. Emily Fields was standing in front of her looking stunning as usual.

                “Did you get my letter?” Emily asked. Paige almost choked. She wondered if it was possible the letter had been there longer than she’d thought.

                “Oh, um, yeah. I did. I’ll drop it off tomorrow,” Paige stuttered. Emily frowned.

                “Drop what off?” she asked.

                “My response…” Paige said slowly. Emily tilted her head.

                “Oh, you can just reply to the e-mail at the bottom,” she said. Now Paige frowned. The letter had explicitly told her where to leave a response, so Emily’s words didn’t make sense.

                “But you said to leave a return letter at…” she trailed off, suddenly afraid that the letter had been a joke. Was Emily about to start laughing at her? Was Ashton Kutcher waiting to pop out from the shower? Emily’s face scrunched up in concern.

                “A return letter? What are you talking about? I just need to know if you’re coming to the party. You don’t have to write a return letter,” Emily said. Paige’s heart sank. She hadn’t been referring to the letter confessing her attraction to Paige. So what the hell was she talking about?

                “Did you think I was talking about something else?” Emily asked softly, noticing Paige’s mood change. Paige shook her head, too quickly.

                “No, no. What else would I be talking about?” she asked. Emily shrugged.

                “I don’t know. You just seemed… disappointed,” she said. Paige swallowed thickly, wondering if she should bring up the other letter. Maybe Emily just didn’t want to talk about it public?

                “What were the details on the party?” Paige asked, changing the subject. If Emily noticed what she was doing, she didn’t say. Instead she started rummaging around in her bag.

                “Here, I think I have an extra in here,” she said. “Aha, here it is.”

                She handed her an envelope, which Paige quickly opened and began to read.

_Hey!_

_I’m organizing an end of season get together for the swim team! On Friday, April 18, let’s all get together at Pizza Party Central at 6:00. If you’re able to make it, please RSVP at_ [ _emfields@gmail.com_ ](mailto:emfields@gmail.com) _. Oh, and pizza, breadsticks, and soda will be paid for by the swim team, so don’t worry about bringing money._

_Hope to see you all there!_

_Emily Fields_

                “Oh, um, thanks. I’ll send an e-mail confirmation, but I’ll definitely be there. I wouldn’t miss it,” Paige said awkwardly. The contents of the other letter were still swimming around in her head. _Sexy. Kiss you. Touch you. Tomorrow._

                “Paige, is everything all right?” Emily asked, concerned. Paige nodded, feeling tears prickling at her eyes.

                “Yeah, of course. I’m fine. I just remembered I need to get home. Right now. My grandmother’s visiting and I should have been home a half hour ago,” she mumbled, pushing past Emily to get out of the locker room before she burst into tears.

                Emily stared after her, wondering what had just happened. Paige’s behavior seemed strange, but Emily felt like she didn’t know her well enough to confront her about it. She hoped she was okay.

                Later that night, Paige found herself writing a letter in response to Emily. She didn’t know what was going on, but she sure as hell was about to find out.


	48. I'll Do It For You--Sparia

                It had been another long day at work and Spencer Hastings was looking forward to settling on the couch with a glass of wine. Unfortunately, that was not what life had in store for her. She nearly had a heart attack when she found her front door was unlocked, but cautiously entered anyway.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked worriedly as she walked into her apartment and found Aria sitting on the couch, tears staining her cheeks. Aria shook her head and held out a piece of paper.

_You are cordially invited to the wedding of Nicole Gordon and Ezra Fitz. Please RSVP by January 7 th. _

                “Oh, sweetie,” Spencer said softly, putting her arm around her friend.

                “Three months ago we had plane tickets to Italy. I had a wedding dress. We were eloping! I know we took a break, but I didn’t think he’d be engaged to _her_ in less than six months,” Aria cried. Spencer gently smoothed Aria’s hair.

                “It’s a dick move,” she agreed. An unexpected giggle escaped Aria’s lips.

                “What?” Spencer asked. Aria shook her head, still giggling.

                “I’ve just never heard you say _dick_. That’s more of a Hanna thing,” she said. Spencer joined in the laughter.

                “I guess I’ve been spending too much time with Hanna,” she said. Aria nodded, but her giggles quickly turned back to tears.

                “How could he do this? Did I mean so little to him?” she asked, tears dripping down her nose. Spencer reached over and grabbed a tissue, wiping away her friend’s tears.

                “This doesn’t mean you weren’t important. It means it wasn’t right. You deserve better, Ar,” she said. Aria didn’t respond. It was several minutes before either woman spoke.

                “I’m supposed to RSVP with my response. I don’t want to go. I _can’t_ go,” she said. Spencer nodded in understanding. She hadn’t gone to Toby and Yvonne’s wedding, and she _hadn’t_ been engaged to Toby only three short months ago.

                “You don’t have to go,” Spencer soothed. Aria looked up at her through her tears.

                “How do I tell him I’m not going?” she asked. Spencer hated that after everything he’d put her through, Aria still cared about protecting Ezra’s feelings.

                “I’ll do it for you,” Spencer offered. Aria’s eyes widened.

                “You will? Really?” she asked hopefully. Spencer nodded.

                “Sure. I can throw in some choice words too if you want,” she said. Aria rolled her eyes. She had no doubt Spencer would love to say a few certain things to Ezra. She could just imagine Spencer starting with this latest betrayal and ending up yelling about high school. It might be funny if she hadn’t been so upset.

                “Just saying I won’t be attending the wedding will be enough,” Aria said. Spencer sighed heavily, pretending to be disappointed.

                “Fine, fine. I won’t say anything mean,” she promised.

                “Do you mind if I stay here tonight?” Aria asked. Spencer shook her head.

                “Of course not. You’re always welcome here. I have work in the morning, but you can stay as long as you want,” she offered. Aria gave her a small smile.

                “Thanks, Spence. I appreciate it. Urgh, I have no idea how I’m going to work with him now! We still have to do a ton of promotion! This is going to be worse than working with Liam. You know, he didn’t even tell me he and Nicole were serious again?”

                Spencer didn’t say anything. She wasn’t particularly surprised to hear that. From what she’d heard, Aria and Ezra had been fairly distant while working on the finishing touches of their book. Ironically, they used Liam for a lot of the back and forth. Still, Ezra sould have told Aria he was engaged instead of just sending a wedding invitation.

                “How did you do this with Toby?” Aria asked suddenly. Spencer felt a small lump in her throat, but she swallowed it down.

                “It was hard… It was really hard. But it’s like comparing apples and oranges, you know? Toby and I hadn’t just been together, let alone engaged. We’d been apart for years by the time he and Yvonne got married. And we didn’t have to work together. It wasn’t easy, and I’d imagine this is a million times worse, but it does get easier eventually,” she promised. Aria nodded slowly.

                “I just feel like it’s so rushed. Kind of like it was with me. He proposed and less than a week later we had tickets to Italy. Now he’s been back with Nicole for three months—at most—and he’s already proposed and they’re getting married in another three months. Except she actually gets a wedding,” Aria said bitterly. Spencer frowned.

                “I thought you wanted to elope,” she questioned. Aria shrugged.

                “Not really. I’ve always wanted a nice wedding, not too big, but a real wedding. But then he really wanted to, and Emily said I should and… I don’t know. I guess I felt like the marriage should be the important part,” she explained. Spencer nodded. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought the elopement was an odd idea.

                “I still have that stupid dress hanging in my closet. I can’t even return it, because I did my own alterations,” Aria whispered. Spencer hugged her friend.

                “Someday you’re going to meet someone, and you’re going to forget that Ezra ever existed. None of this is going to matter, because you’re going to have so much love for this other person,” Spencer said. Aria looked at her.

                “Has that happened for you?” she asked curiously. Spencer frowned.

                “What do you mean?” she asked.

                “Have you found someone who made you forget Toby?” she asked. Spencer shrugged.

                “Caleb made me forget, for a little while. But I guess I’m still waiting to find that right person,” she said. Aria sighed.

                “What if we never find them? What if we’re alone forever?” she asked.

                “Tell you what, if we hit thirty-five and we haven’t found anyone, I’ll propose to you,” she said jokingly. Aria laughed.

                “Sounds like a plan.”


	49. Call Me When You Get Home-Spanna

It had come as a shock for everyone when, two days after escaping from the Dollhouse, Spencer and Hanna had announced they were dating. Well, they hadn't actually announced it so much as they’d been discovered. Aria had gone to visit Spencer in the hospital and had discovered her and Hanna making out. In the days since then, the two girls had been inseparable. Every waking hour they spent together. They watched movies, listened to music, and worked on makeup homework. (Spencer worked, Hanna watched.) Some afternoons they hardly said two words to each other; just being in each other's presence was enough. The hard part came when it was time to say goodnight.

Unsurprising, Ashley Marin wanted Hanna to be home every night. Between Hanna's arrest and then kidnapping, it had been a long time since Ashley had had her daughter under her roof. She'd been extremely welcoming toward Spencer, though, and had offered to let her stay over. She'd even said she could stay in Hanna's room, as long as they kept the door open. The surprise, however, came from Veronica. Since Spencer had come home from the hospital, Veronica had turned into the hover mother that she'd never been. Mostly this just meant making sure Spencer was in her own bed every night, since Veronica still had to work every day. Spencer didn't know why her mom cared so much. She was fine with Spencer being at Hanna's during the day, as long as she was home by ten. Of course, she'd also welcomed Hanna and said she could stay the night, but Ashley wouldn’t agree to that.

Spencer kept expecting her mom to go back to her usual self, but so far it hadn't happened. All of this meant that the girls were forced to be separated at night, and neither of them was sleeping well. Veronica hadn't allowed Spencer to have the sleeping pills or anti anxiety meds prescribed by the doctors, so she spent the nights tossing and turning, afraid of every sound. Hanna was taking the medications, but found herself having vivid nightmares she couldn't wake up from. She woke up gasping for breath, haunted by what she had seen in her sleep.

It was exactly one week since they had escaped from the Dollhouse, and the two girls were curled up together in Spencer's bed. Hanna had her head on Spencer's shoulder and was drawing random patterns on her stomach. She wasn’t sure how long they’d been there, and she didn’t want to ever move. She felt safe in Spencer’s arms, much safer than she felt when she was alone at night.

"I wish you could stay," Spencer said softly, breaking the comfortable silence they'd been in. Hanna nodded and pressed a kiss to Spencer’s collarbone.

"Me too. I don't know why my mom won't let me stay here. Your house has a better security system than mine," she pointed out. The Hastings’ had always had a good security system, but they’d updated it when Spencer came home, and now the house was probably the safest place in Rosewood. The Marin house, on the other hand, didn’t have any security.

"I don't know why _my_ mom won't let me stay at _your_ house. It's not like she's ever paid much attention to me and now you would think I'm Melissa!" she exclaimed, lingering resentment seeping into her voice. Hanna rolled her eyes, knowing Spencer couldn't see. She knew that Veronica had always outwardly favored Melissa, but Hanna suspected she loved Spencer just as much, she just wasn't as good at showing it.

“Speaking of Melissa, is she still in town?” Hanna asked. Spencer shook her head.

“No, she could only get a week off work before she needed to get back to London. I can’t get over the fact that she and Mom lied to me to keep me in London, but it was nice of her to come,” she said. She knew that her family had only been looking out for her, but she still blamed them for the fact that she hadn’t been here when Hanna was arrested.  

Hanna's phone rang, and she groaned. 

"It's my mom," she said, answering. She felt Spencer tense beneath her, preparing herself for what was about to happen.

"Yeah, I'm still at Spencer's. I'm getting ready to leave now. Yes, I'll come straight home. Okay, I'll see you in a few minutes. Bye." 

She ended the call with a heavy sigh. She loved her mom, but the older woman was smothering her. She acted like Hanna was made out of glass and could break at any moment. Honestly, that was why Hanna preferred to spend her days at Spencer’s house.

"You have to go," Spencer said dully, resisting the urge to cry. The tears made her feel ridiculous. They’d been through much worse than this, and she’d endured without crying. Hanna nodded, sitting up and pulling on her boots.

"I'm sorry. I hadn't realized how late it was and she wants me home ASAP," she explained. Spencer sighed. She _had_ realized how late it was, but she selfishly hadn't pointed it out, hoping that she could keep Hanna to herself longer.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Hanna asked. Spencer nodded, already looking forward to it.

"Call me when you get home," Spencer ordered. Hanna smiled and kissed her girlfriend. It was a line they had exchanged every night.               

"Of course. I'll see you tomorrow."

Spencer watched her leave and waited impatiently for her phone to ring. Finally, ten minutes later, it did. She answered quickly, relieved that Hanna had made it home safe. Despite having spent the last fourteen hours together, neither girl wanted to hang up the phone. Instead, they continued to talk about nothing of importance until they both fell asleep.

The pattern would repeat the next night, and the next, and the next, until both Ashley and Veronica gave in and agreed that they could take turns sleeping over at each other's houses.

 

 


	50. I Think You're Beautiful--Spanna

                It had been an altogether shitty day. Hanna had thought being friends with Alison would make high school amazing. After three terrible years of middle school, she’d been so excited for freshman year. It was a fresh start. Her dad might be gone, but she had a new group of friends and it was going to be the best year of school so far. But instead of being a great day, it had ended with her laying in bed, sobbing into her pillow.

                _Hefty Hanna_.

                That’s what Alison had nicknamed her at lunch today. So maybe Hanna had gained a bit of weight over the summer, and yeah, maybe she’d had to buy new jeans in a larger size. But that didn’t make Alison’s insult okay, did it? Her stomach twinged painfully and she regretted the pint of Ben and Jerry’s that she’d eaten upon returning home that afternoon. Hopefully her mom wouldn’t notice that the nearly full carton was now gone.

 Speaking of Ashley, she wondered if she was home yet. Probably not, or she would have come in to ask Hanna about her day. Ever since Tom had left, Ashley had been pulling more and more late shifts at the bank. Hanna really wasn’t sure what her mom did during these late shifts, given that the bank closed at five, but it had never occurred to her to actually ask. She couldn’t even remember when they had last sat down together for dinner.

Hanna stood up in front of her full length mirror to get a good look at herself. Her face was red and splotchy, and looked fatter than she remembered it. She pulled up her shirt and winced at the way her hips and stomach spilled out over the top of her pants. Maybe Alison was right about her. Maybe she _was_ Hefty Hanna. A knock at the door startled her and she dropped the hem of her shirt.

Wiping away her remaining tears, Hanna opened the door. To her surprise, Spencer Hastings was standing on her porch.

“Uh, Spencer, hi,” she said awkwardly. Until the end of last year, she could have counted on one hand the number of times she’d spoken to the brunette. Even now, it was more like they were both friends with Alison, but not necessarily with each other. She knew the other girl was practically a genius and had been on student council and the field hockey team, but other than that she knew very little about her.

“Is it weird that I’m here?” Spencer asked, shifting nervously. If she noticed that Hanna had been crying, she didn’t say anything. Hanna bit her lip, unsure of how to respond. Yes, it was extremely weird that Spencer was there. But she found she didn’t mind, so she didn’t want to say so.

“Of course not. We’re friends, aren’t we?” she asked, hoping she didn’t sound like a total dork. Spencer gave her a small smile.

“Yeah, I guess we are,” she agreed. Hanna returned her smile.

“So, uh, what are you doing here?” she asked. Spencer blushed, and Hanna was pretty sure it was the first time she’d ever seen the brunette look embarrassed. Usually she seemed so composed.

“I just wanted to say that… What Ali said at lunch today… It wasn’t very nice,” she said awkwardly, struggling for the right words. Hanna shrugged dejectedly.

“It’s okay. She didn’t say anything untrue. I did get fat and ugly over the summer,” she said. Spencer frowned.

“I think you’re beautiful,” she said honestly. Now Hanna was the one blushing.

“You do?” she asked in amazement. No one had ever called her beautiful. Even her family called her cute or adorable, but never beautiful. Spencer nodded.

“Anyway, like I said, I just wanted to say that. And also, if you ever want to study together…” she trailed off. Hanna smiled widely.

“I’d love to,” she said. The two girls shared another smile, and Spencer said goodbye and left as quickly as she came.

It wasn’t until Spencer was long gone that Hanna remembered how much she hated studying. Oh well, she thought with a shrug. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t noticed how attractive Spencer was, and spending time with her would be enjoyable, even if she didn’t like what they were doing. After all, she could always study Spencer instead of algebra.


	51. Are You Sure?--Spanna

                Everyone had been surprised when Hanna had decided halfway through college that instead of going into fashion, she wanted to be a hair stylist. Her mother had tried to talk her out of it, while her girlfriend had been perplexed but supportive. There had been a couple of rough years where they’d been mostly living off of Spencer’s paychecks while Hanna brought in very little, but things were better now. In fact, things were great.

                Last year, Hanna had been hired to be a Broadway hair stylist. She’d worked on some of the biggest names in the business, and she’d gotten high praise from many stars. Today, however, she had her toughest client yet. Spencer.

                In the entire time she’d known Spencer, the brunette had always had long hair. She had never seen the other woman with hair that didn’t reach past the bottom of her bra. Then last night Spencer had nervously approached her girlfriend and asked if she’d cut her hair. Hanna had agreed, halfway expecting Spencer to back out. But here they were, with Spencer on a chair in the middle of the kitchen.

                “We should move to the bathroom. This is gross. We’re going to get hair all over the kitchen,” Spencer complained. Hanna shook her head.

                “There’s not enough room in the bathroom. Don’t worry, I’ll sweep up the hair,” she promised. Spencer pursed her lips. She’d heard that story before. When Hanna had started out, she’d practiced on friends in their apartment. Spencer couldn’t count the number of times she’d come home to find bits of hair that Hanna had missed.

                “Okay, we’re just going to start by washing your hair,” Hanna said, moving the chair over to the kitchen sink. She adjusted the water to the right temperature and began rinsing Spencer’s hair. She squeezed a dollop of shampoo into the palm of her hand and lathered up her girlfriend’s long, thick locks. Once she’d finished rinsing and conditioning, she gently combed out Spencer’s hair. She was always surprised by how healthy the brunette’s hair was. Usually if she worked on hair this long, the ends were split and unhealthy.

                “Are you sure? We can still turn back,” Hanna warned. Spencer shook her head.

                “I’m sure. I want to do this. Just promise me you won’t make fun of me if it doesn’t look good,” she said. Hanna rolled her eyes.

                “First off, I would never make fun of you for how you look. Second, you’re going to look great. Don’t worry, I’m not going to make you look bad,” Hanna said. Spencer smiled. She had absolute trust in her girlfriend, it was her own reaction she worried about.

                “Okay. Let’s do this,” Spencer said. Hanna raised the scissors and made the first cut. A lock of hair fell to the floor. Then another, and another, and another.

                Twenty minutes later, Hanna stepped back triumphantly.

                “All done! Are you ready to see it?” she asked. Spencer stood up, a nervous look on her face. She’d never had short hair and she was terrified. She followed Hanna to the bathroom and flicked on the light.

                “Oh! It… It looks good,” she said, surprised. Hanna rolled her eyes again.

                “Of course it looks good. I cut it,” she pointed out. Spencer ignored her, admiring her hair in the mirror. It wasn’t _too_ short, especially as far as the average person was concerned. It barely brushed her shoulders when allowed to fall in its natural curls. If straightened, it would fall against her shoulders.

                “It feels so light,” Spencer commented. Hanna nodded. She often heard that from clients cutting their hair for the first time, and she had experienced it herself when she’d bobbed her hair in high school.

                “Do you like it?” Hanna asked. Spencer nodded and kissed her girlfriend.

                “I love it. It looks great, Han,” she said. Hanna grinned, proud of herself. Spencer turned back to the mirror to look at her hair.

                “Are you forgetting something?” Spencer asked, looking at Hanna over her shoulder. Hanna huffed in annoyance.

                “I know, I know. I’m going,” she said, leaving to sweep up the hair.

                “I better not find a single hair on that floor!” Spencer called after her. She smiled at herself in the mirror. If she’d known how much she’d like having shorter hair, she’d have cut it years ago.

                With one final look in the mirror, Spencer left to monitor her girlfriend and make sure everything was being swept properly. Maybe she’d even help out a little. Or, maybe she’d just watch while running her fingers through her hair.


	52. Have Fun--Spanna

                “Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Hanna asked for the millionth time. She considered her earrings, and changed them to a pair of diamonds. Spencer looked up from her book. She was already in bed, wearing pajamas, drinking a glass of wine. Hanna, on the other hand, was getting ready for a night on the town.

                “I wasn’t exactly invited, remember?” Spencer reminded her girlfriend. Hanna rolled her eyes and slipped on a pair of red high heels.

                “If I showed up with you, it would be okay. She wouldn’t send you home. In fact, she probably just thought I’d bring you, and she didn’t want to waste two invitations on the same address. It’s an implied invitation,” Hanna reasoned. Spencer bit her tongue. She wasn’t entirely sure that Mona _wouldn’t_ send her home, and she was absolutely positive that she hadn’t been invited intentionally, but she didn’t want to argue.

                “Mona’s bachelorette party isn’t quite my idea of a fun night. Besides, I have work early tomorrow morning, and I can’t stay out all night before an early morning anymore. Don’t worry about me. I’m actually reading for fun, for once, and then I’m going to go to sleep,” she reassured her girlfriend. She knew Hanna felt bad going out without her, but she honestly didn’t care.

                “Nerd,” Hanna teased affectionately. “Do you like my dress?”

                Spencer let her eyes roam up and down Hanna’s body and nodded in appreciation. Hanna was wearing a strapless black dress. The top was skintight and it had a feathery skirt that fell mid-thigh. She’d dressed it up by adding a faux-diamond belt. Simply put, she looked stunning.

                “I’ll take that as a yes,” Hanna said, sounding proud. Spencer blushed.

                “Hurry up or you’re going to be late,” she warned. _Hurry up or I might rip that dress off you._

                “I still can’t believe Mona’s getting married,” Hanna commented, ignoring her girlfriend.

                “I still can’t believe someone agreed to marry her,” Spencer muttered under her breath. Hanna glared at her.

                “This is why you weren’t invited,” Hanna snipped. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “I thought it was an implied invitation?” she asked. Hanna just gave her a look.

 It wasn’t like she cared that she hadn’t been invited to Mona’s party. She wouldn’t have expected it, and she would have probably come up with some excuse to skip it. But she was glad that Hanna had been invited. She knew her girlfriend was looking forward to seeing her old friend again. Things had been difficult between the two in the last few years, but somehow their friendship endured. She, however, only maintained a general level of distant politeness when it came to Mona, and that was how she preferred it.

“Don’t wait up for me,” Hanna warned. “I’ll probably be late.”

“Don’t worry. Like I said, another chapter or two and I plan on crashing,” Spencer admitted. Her job had been exhausting lately, and she was more than happy to have an early night.

“Okay, babe. I’ll see you in the morning,” Hanna said, giving her girlfriend a quick peck.

“Have fun!” she called after Hanna’s disappearing form.

She heard the front door open and close, and settled back against the headboard again with a sigh. She hadn’t been lying when she said she didn’t want to go, nor when she said she was glad Hanna was going. But the fact of the matter was, ever since they’d started dating after the Dollhouse, neither slept well without the other. She could count on one hand the number of times she’d fallen asleep without the blonde by her side. She took another sip of her wine and opened her book. Hopefully the hours would pass quickly until her girl was back in her arms.


	53. Sit Down, I'll Get It--Sparia

                Aria Montgomery felt like she was about fifteen months pregnant. Her due date had come and gone, and still she was housing an energy sucking tiny human. With every minute that passed, she felt more and more like a whale. Her feet hurt, her back hurt, and she constantly had to pee.

                _Knock knock._

                “I’ll get it!” Aria called, trying to haul herself off the couch. Spencer practically flew into the living room.

                “Sit down, I’ll get it,” she ordered. Aria rolled her eyes, but did as her wife said. Spencer—who had always been overprotective of people she loved—had been especially overprotective the last ine months. A few seconds later, Hanna bounced into the room and flopped down on the couch next to Aria.

                “What are you doing here?” Spencer asked, joining the other two. Hanna gave her a wounded look.

                “Can’t a girl visit her two best friends without a reason?” she asked. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “Sure, but you don’t,” she pointed out. Hanna shrugged and picked up a bag that neither Aria nor Spencer had noticed.

                “I brought you guys something. Well, I brought the little one something,” she corrected herself. Aria raised an eyebrow.

                “You already gave the baby something,” she reminded her. Hanna shrugged again.

                “I know, but this was so cute I couldn’t pass it up,” she said. A grin on her face, she pulled out a onesie and held it up for her friends to see.

                “ _My Mommy’s a Khaleesi!”_ the shirt announced. Below the words was an illustration of a dragon. Spencer practically starting jumping in excitement.

                “Oh my gosh! It’s adorable!” she exclaimed.

                “You’re going to have to clear something up,” Aria said, an amused look on her face. “Which Mommy is a Khaleesi?”

                Hanna’s face went blank.

                “Oh, uh, well, both of you I guess. Or whoever decides to be Mommy? Have you decided what the little one is going to call you?” Hanna asked, changing the subject. Spencer narrowed her eyes.

                “Do you even know what a Khaleesi is?” she asked accusingly. Hanna blushed.

                “Um… No?” she admitted. Aria burst out laughing. She had known good and well Hanna didn’t know what the shirt meant.

                “So why did you get this if you don’t even get the reference?” she asked, still laughing at her wife’s outraged face. Hanna’s face turned redder.

                “Okay, technically Caleb picked it out. He said Spencer especially would love it,” she said.

                “At least _someone_ in your house watches _Game of Thrones_ ,” Spencer grumbled. Aria squeezed her wife’s hand affectionately.

                “It’s okay, Moon of My Life,” Aria said. Spencer leaned over and pressed a kiss to Aria’s cheek.

                “Aww, that’s so sweet My Sun and Stars. You just agreed that I’m the Khaleesi here,” Spencer said happily. Aria rolled her eyes.

                “What the hell are you two talking about? Do I even want to know?” Hanna asked, wrinkling her nose. Aria laughed.

                “You should watch _Game of Thrones_. Then you’d understand,” she said. Hanna grimaced.

                “I tried watching the first episode with Caleb and had to stop after twenty minutes. You know I don’t like violent shows. I felt so bad for those poor horses!” she exclaimed. Spencer raised an eyebrow.              

                “Han, you know it wasn’t a real horse?” she asked. Hanna rolled her eyes.

                “I know that! I still didn’t like it,” she said defiantly. Spencer opened her mouth to make a retort, but Aria’s grip tightened on her hand.

                “Um, Spence? I think the baby’s coming,” she announced. Spencer flew into wife mode, grabbing Aria’s bag and the keys.

                “Let’s go!” she exclaimed, helping Aria out to the car.

                Hours later, Emilia Hastings-Montgomery came into the world.


	54. I Made Reservations--Spanna

                Hanna was exhausted. She was always exhausted lately. She’d even gone to the doctor to make sure it wasn’t a thyroid problem (she’d been skeptical, but Spencer had been worried so she’d gotten the test to appease her), but everything came back normal. She knew the cause of it. Claudia was, quite simply, running Hanna into the ground. She had her regularly working up to sixteen hours a day, seven days a week. Even Hanna’s schedules days off weren’t safe. Claudia would often call her, demanding that she come in _right away._ It was always an ‘emergency’ and failing to show up would cost Hanna her job. So it wasn’t surprising that some things were falling through the cracks. Unfortunately, her anniversary was one of those things.

                It was after seven o’clock when she finally got home.  Which would have been fine if she hadn’t been supposed to get off at three. She’d left the house before the sun had even come up, and hadn’t seen her wife all day.

                “Spence, I’m home!” she called, walking into the bedroom. The brunette appeared, hands on her hips and a glare on her face.

                “What’s wrong?” Hanna asked, frowning. Spencer was wearing a low cut blue dress, her hair was curled, and she had a full face of makeup. While her wife always dressed well for work, she wasn’t usually this dressed up.

                “You’ve been ignoring my calls,” she said accusingly. Hanna’s frown deepened. She knew Spencer hated when people didn’t answer their phones. Not only was it annoying, but she knew it made her worry. It was a byproduct of the days when an unanswered phone could mean A had done something terrible.

                “I’m sorry; my phone must be on silent. What’s going on? Why are you all dressed up?” she asked.

                “Do you have any idea what day it is?” Spencer asked, upset that Hanna could be so clueless. Hanna wracked her brain.

                “Sure, it’s November 16th. Our anniversary is this weekend. I have the day off, too. And I told Claudia I absolutely cannot come in,” she said, proudly. While they didn’t usually make a huge deal about their anniversary—they didn’t want to be one of those couples who only paid attention to each other one day a year—she’d decided this year was special. Five years was an accomplishment, and one she wanted to celebrate. She’d already made plans for the special night, and she couldn’t wait. It was rare for the couple to be able to go on dates anymore, and she was excited for a romantic night out. Spencer sighed, the anger draining from her face.

                “Han, today’s the 18th,” she corrected. Horror settled onto Hanna’s face as she realized that she’d lost track of the date and mis-planned for their anniversary. So much for being on top of things this year.

                “Oh my god. Spence, I am so sorry! I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I?” she asked, feeling like she might start crying.

                “I made reservations,” Spencer said. Hanna’s face fell. She felt horrible. She really needed to have a serious conversation with Claudia about sticking to her scheduled hours, or she was afraid it was going to take its toll on her marriage. How many forgotten events would it take for Spencer to tire of it, and decide she wanted someone who was home more?

                “But they’re not for another hour and a half,” Spencer added, a wide smile on her face. It took a minute for the words to sink in.

                “I haven’t ruined everything?” Hanna asked hopefully. Spencer shook her head.

                “You haven’t ruined anything. Now go hop in the shower and get dressed so we can go,” she said.

Hanna grinned and kissed her wife on the cheek. She was suddenly very glad that she hadn’t waited until the last second to pick out a gift for Spencer, and had hidden the necklace in her underwear drawer a week ago. She’d gone semi-traditional, getting Spencer a necklace that had a wooden pendent, since year five was traditionally wood. She thought Spencer would appreciate it, since she was secretly into tradition. When she and Spencer had celebrated their first anniversary, she’d debated if she wanted to follow traditional gifts, modern gifts, or her own gifts. She’d done a mix of the three styles, depending on what she thought Spencer would like.

                “Have I mentioned that you’re my favorite wife ever?” Hanna asked. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “Only once or twice. Now scoot! Get ready!” she encouraged, shaking her head in amusement. Hanna quickly rushed into the bathroom to get ready.

                “We’re leaving in a half hour!” Spencer called after her, despite the fact that they really had an hour before they needed to go. Knowing Hanna, she would need the extra time.

                “Calm down, I’m getting ready!” Hanna yelled, pulling off her work clothes and hopping in the shower. After spending the day running around after Claudia, she felt gross. After a quick shower, she found herself staring at her closet. She finally decided on a tight red dress that she knew drove Spencer crazy, and a pair of black heels.

                “Are you ready?” Spencer asked, poking her head into the bedroom. Hanna nodded and gave her wife an unexpected kiss.

                “You know, if Aria was my wife, I’d get her some fork earrings this year,” she joked, though she was semi-serious. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “Please don’t tell me you think _I’m_ going to wear silverware as jewelry,” she deadpanned. Hanna laughed and kissed her again.

                “I wouldn’t dream of trying to get you to wear silverware in your ears,” she said.

                “Come on, we’re going to miss our reservations,” Spencer said, shaking her head in amusement. Hanna followed her out to the car, letting her wife drive without question.

She couldn’t believe she and Spencer had been married for five years already, but at the same time it felt like they’d been together their entire lives. She couldn’t wait to spend the next five years, and the next five, and the rest of her life with Spencer Hastings.

 


	55. I Don't Mind--Paily

It was the kind of phone call Emily had always dreaded. Ever since she was a little girl and learned what her father did for a living, and that he could die at any moment, she had been terrified of her phone ringing. Unknown numbers sent her into a tailspin. Of course, ninety-nine percent of the time, it was nothing. A wrong number or a sales call. But occasionally, such as when her dad had died, her fears were realized. She’d thought she’d stopped being afraid of ringing phones when he’d died. But now the ringing phone once again contained bad news.

She’d been at work when her phone rang. She wasn’t supposed to answer, but when she’d seen the familiar area code, she’d answered. The woman on the phone calmly explained that Paige McCullers had been in a car accident and Emily was her emergency contact. She’d been puzzled to hear that piece of information; Paige had never told her that she was her emergency contact.

Still, despite having broken up six months prior, Emily didn't hesitate to hop in her car and make the four hour drive to the hospital. After they'd broken up, Emily had relocated from the Stanford area to San Diego. She’d felt she had no reason to stay in town, and it was too hard to be around everything she’d lost. Still, even though their relationship had ended on a somewhat sour note, nothing was going to keep Emily away from Paige's bedside.

Once she had arrived, she’d been informed that Paige was in surgery, and it had been hours before she'd been able to actually see her ex girlfriend.

"Hey," she said awkwardly, shuffling in the doorway. She looked Paige up and down, trying to find evidence of surgery. Besides a cut on her forehead and a plaster cast on her wrist, Paige looked fine.

"You don't have to be here," Paige rasped out, her throat hoarse. Emily shook her head.

"Of course I'm here. I’m your emergency contact, remember?" she asked with a pointed look. She saw recognition flash across Paige’s face.

"Oh. I forgot about that. I’m sorry you drove all the way out here for nothing,” she said.

“It’s not for nothing. The nurse said you had to have surgery,” she said worriedly. Paige nodded.

“Did the nurse tell you why?" Paige asked. Emily's eyebrows knotted together and she shook her head.

“She said you were in a car accident, but she didn’t give me any other details," she said. Without a word, Paige used her good hand and yanked the blanket off her legs. Emily gasped, surprised to see Paige’s entire leg covered in thick white plaster.

"My knee is shattered. I'll be lucky to ever be able to walk without a limp. The doctors said I'll never swim again," she said bitterly. Emily walked closer to the bed and sat down in a chair, taken aback by the information. 

"Oh, Paige. I'm so sorry," she said. Paige swallowed thickly. 

"It's fine," she lied. Emily sighed, seeing right through the lie. She knew Paige had been training for the Olympics and she'd had an extremely good chance for making the team. It had been her dream for so long and now it was ruined.  

"How long are you going to be in the hospital?" Emily asked, changing the subject. Paige shrugged.

"I don't know. I have another surgery tomorrow, so a couple of days at least. Then I'll have to go to the rehab center," she said, dreading the prospect.

"I can stay in town for a while," Emily offered.

Paige thought about the offer. Part of her wanted the beg Emily to stay in town. Their breakup had been mutual in the sense that they both knew they couldn’t continue living the way they were. Emily had been starting fights every night, Paige would retaliate, and they would both end up angry. Still, Paige had held onto hope that they could work things out. She'd been devastated when Emily left town, erasing any possibility they had of getting back together. So the prospect of being around her again gave her butterflies.

On the other hand, she wanted to pretend Emily had never come here. It had taken her a long time to get used to Emily being gone. She'd finally been able to accept that they were over. The idea of Emily being here and then leaving again broke her heart.

"I don't want to pull you away from work," she said, not even knowing where or if Emily was working. Emily frowned.

"I don't mind. I can take some time off. My boss won’t mind," she reassured. Paige closed her eyes, trying to work up the courage to say what she needed to say.

"Em, I don't want you to stay so you can turn around and run away again!" she exclaimed, releasing her pent up frustration. A hurt look flashed across Emily's face.

"I didn't run away," she protested weakly. She knew that what Paige said was the truth. She had run away, from Paige, from her life, from everything. Her father's death had broken her. She'd failed all of her classes, blown through her money, and taken everything out on Paige. It hadn’t been fair to Paige, who had no idea what was going on with classes or money. Her ex didn't even know that she'd dropped out of school. 

"I don't want to leave you like this, Paige. You’re going to be in for a tough road," she said softly. Paige sighed, resisting the urge to snap at Emily. She _knew_ she was in for a tough road.

"I'll be fine. Just go back," she said. Emily bit her lip, nervous about leaving her ex all alone. But she wasn’t going to stay when she clearly wasn’t welcome.

"Okay. I'll go," she said.

"Thank you," Paige whispered. She watched Emily walk out the door, for the second time. Only this time she didn't beg her to stay. Once she was alone once again, Paige allowed herself to cry.

 


	56. It Brings Out Your Eyes--Paily

Watching impatiently as Hanna browsed yet another rack of clothes, Paige was ready to scream in frustration. There were very few things in life she truly hated. Election season, people who judged her based on her sexuality, and shopping. And yet here she was, at the mall, with Emily and Hanna. Somehow the blonde had managed to talk Emily into coming with her, and all it had taken was Emily giving her the patented Emily Fields Puppy Eyes for her to agree to go with them. Well, technically she had only agreed to go shopping with Emily, who conveniently forgot to mention they weren’t going alone. It wasn't until they were in the car that her girlfriend had announced they were picking up Hanna on the way. Paige had seriously considered jumping out of the moving car. But she hadn't, and now she wished she had. They had been looking at clothes for THREE HOURS. Three hours of dresses and skirts and sweaters and now lingerie.

It was hard to be angry at Hanna, who hadn’t been the one to trick her. Instead, every opportunity she had, Paige shot a glare at Emily, who would just shrug apologetically, as if she hadn’t been the one to drag Paige into this hellish nightmare. 

"You have to try this on!" Hanna squealed excitedly, holding up a piece of green fabric. It took a few seconds for Paige to realize that it was a bra. She shook her head, horrified at the thought of wearing it.

"No. No way. That thing is sheer and lacy, neither of which is something I wear," she protested. Hanna stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. Paige shook her head again.

"Nope, not going to work," she said, trying to stay strong, despite feeling her resolve weakening. If she thought Emily’s eyes were bad it was only because she hadn’t been on the receiving end of Hanna’s pout.

"Emmmmily, tell your girlfriend that it's no fun if she doesn't try anything on!" Hanna whined. Emily sighed.

"Han, she's already tried on several things," Emily pointed out gently. 

"Five. I've tried on five thing, none of which I even picked out myself," Paige complained. Hanna's bottom lip started trembling. How did Caleb survive living with this?

"Please? Caleb and I had a really bad fight before he went on his business trip and this would make me feel so much better!" she exclaimed.

Paige groaned, suddenly realizing how Hanna had talked Emily into this. Anytime Hanna and Caleb fought, Hanna would drag her friends out to forget how upset she was. One time she and Spencer had gotten massages. Another time she and Aria had gone to a yoga class. But somehow, when she decided to go shopping, Paige ended up getting involved. Somehow she didn't think Toby had been dragged to the spa, and the image of Ezra doing yoga made her cringe. So why did Emily make her come along?

"This will be the last one, I promise," Hanna said, holding out the bra. Paige groaned, but took the bra. After all, the sooner she put it on the sooner she could take it off. She walked into the dressing room and took off her sports bra, replacing it with the lacy fabric. It was pretty, she had to admit. In fact, she could imagine that on Emily it would be perfect. The rich, deep green was a lovely color, and it fit just right. But she really didn't think it was very practical for her. She was extremely active, and needed a bra that supported her.

“Are you going to show us or not?” Hanna called from outside. Despite her reservations, Paige stepped out to show Hanna and Emily. 

"Oh my god, Paige! You look hot!" Hanna exclaimed happily, clapping her hands together. Paige turned to Emily to see her reaction. She smirked at the lust filled look Emily was giving her.

"Like it?" she asked. Hanna snickered. Emily cleared her throat, blushing.

"It brings out your eyes," she said. Paige raised an eyebrow.

"It's not something that would be visible, you know. If I was wearing it, it wouldn’t ‘bring out my eyes’," she pointed out. Emily shrugged.

"It's totally hot. You should buy it," Hanna said. To her own surprise, Paige agreed with her. She didn’t know when she would ever wear it, but if it inspired that look in Emily’s eyes, she’d find an opportunity.

It turned out there was an upside to this shopping trip, Paige learned when she and Emily returned home.

 


	57. There Is Enough Room for Both of Us--Spanna

                Spencer knew she had screwed up. She’d known it before Emily had chewed her out, she’d known it before nearly hooking up with the stranger in the elevator, she’d known it the second she’d taken her first sip of alcohol. But she felt like her life was falling apart and she’d just wanted to forget, even if it was only for a few minutes.

                Emily had only been gone for a couple of minutes when there was a knock at the door. Spencer considered ignoring it, but her visitor was insistent. She drunkenly staggered over to the door and flung it open.

                “What are you doing here?” she asked harshly. She was too drunk to properly glare at the woman in front of her. Hanna shifted her feet awkwardly. When Aria had dropped her off at Lucas’s loft earlier, she had found that the prospect of being alone was more than she could handle. She’d had difficulty sleeping ever since being kidnapped, and now the image of Rollins’ dead face was sure to haunt her dreams. But she’d been reluctant to bother any of her friends with her problems when she knew they were all dealing with things of their own. Finally, she’d decided to kill two birds with one stone and attempt to make amends with Spencer.

                “Can I come in?” she asked. Spencer stared at her for a few seconds. After the scene Hanna had witnessed between her and Caleb earlier, Spencer was surprised the blonde would be anywhere near here. She stepped aside to let her in, her feet moving of their own accord.

                “Spence, I am so sorry. I never should have kissed him. It was a huge mistake, and I am so sorry. I don’t want to be the thing that comes between you guys,” she said. Spencer sighed, her head pounding. All she wanted to do was crawl into bed, not deal with mistakes of the past.

                “It’s not your fault. At least not completely. You weren’t the only one involved in it. God knows I’ve made a few mistakes of my own,” she said self deprecatingly, wondering why Hanna had come all the way over there in the middle of the night to apologize.  She got her answer a few seconds later when Hanna nervously posed the question that had brought her to the Hastings property.

                “Can I stay here tonight? I know you’re mad at me, but I really don’t want to be alone right now,” she said. Spencer paused. She didn’t know why Hanna would choose to come here of all places. Surely Emily or Aria would have been a safer bet. When she’d first seen Hanna, she’d been tempted to slam the door in her face. But Hanna looked devastated, and Spencer didn’t have the heart to throw her out.

                “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here. I’ll let myself out,” Hanna stammered, mistaking Spencer’s silence for rejection. Spencer shook her head.

                “No, it’s fine. Of course you can stay,” she said, too tired to fight. The part of her mind still thinking clearly knew that if she turned away Hanna now, it would be a defining moment in their friendship, an action that could ruin them forever.

                “Thanks,” Hanna replied softly, surprised.

                “You can take the bed if you want. I’ll stay on the couch,” Spencer offered.

                “I don’t want to drive you to your own couch,” Hanna argued. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

                “You want to take the lumpy couch?” she asked. Hanna shook her head, and the brunette sighed.

                “What are you suggesting then?” Spencer countered. Hanna hesitated. She’d been already asked for so much, staying here was enough. Still, despite her concern that she might be overstepping, she had to ask.

                “There is enough room for both of us. Please, Spence. I don’t want to be alone,” she repeated. Spencer paused again before nodding.

                “Okay. Let’s go to sleep,” she suggested tiredly. Hanna followed her to the bedroom, where she accepted the pajamas Spencer lent her.

                “I really appreciate this,” Hanna said. Spencer nodded without saying anything.

                “Mona got the car fixed,” she announced. That got Spencer’s attention.

                “ _What?”_ she asked in horror. Hanna nodded, slipping into bed next to her friend.

                “I guess she had been tracking Rollins’ phone and when it stopped, she went to investigate. She found the car and took it somewhere to be fixed,” she explained. Spencer groaned. She was way too drunk and exhausted for this.

                “She won’t tell anyone,” Hanna said defensively.

                “If you trust her, I trust you,” Spencer said simply. Hanna was filled with gratitude. She had been worried that her friendship with Spencer had been irreparably damaged, but the brunette still trusted her, despite her mistakes.

                “Thank you for letting me stay tonight. I know you probably don’t really want me here,” she said. Spencer sighed, her head pounding.

                “If I didn’t want you here, you wouldn’t be here,” she said. Hanna didn’t believe her, but she didn’t argue. Spencer took in the bags under Hanna’s eyes, and the worry lines that she could swear hadn’t been there a week ago.

                “When’s the last time you slept?” she asked, worry rising. Hanna shrugged.

                “It’s been a while. It’s hard to fall asleep when I’m afraid I’ll wake up and be back there,” she whispered. Spencer swallowed heavily, guilt flooding her.

                “Is it better when you’re not alone?” she asked. Another shrug.

                “I wouldn’t know,” Hanna said. Spencer sighed, hoping she wouldn’t come to regret what she was about to suggest.

                “Well, if it turns out that it is, you should stay here for a while,” she said. Hanna gaped at her.

                “But… But you’re mad at me. And what about Caleb? I meant it when I said I didn’t want to mess things up between you,” she said.

                “I know. I believe you. And maybe I’m a little bit mad at you, but you’re still my best friend. I’m not going to stand by while you’re too scared to sleep if I can help.”

                Hanna felt tears fill her eyes.

                “Thanks, Spence,” she said softly. Spencer nodded.

                “We’ll figure everything out in the morning. Get some sleep,” she ordered, turning off the light. Hanna nodded to herself and closed her eyes. Spencer began carding her fingers through Hanna’s hair, and the blonde felt her entire body relax.

                Maybe she hadn’t ruined everything.


	58. You Don't Have to Say Anything--Sparia

                Spencer was in the middle of studying for an important chemistry test when she heard the doorbell ring. She groaned, wishing that her parents—or even Melissa—were home. This test was worth fifty percent of her final grade, and she didn’t have time to deal with whoever was at the door. She thought about ignoring it, but the knocking didn’t stop.

                “I’m coming!” she called, unable to keep the annoyance from her voice. She was surprised to see Aria standing on her front porch. All thoughts of the test left her mind at the sight of her best friend.

                “Aria! What are you doing here? I thought you had a date with Fitz?” she asked. Then she noticed the tear tracks on her friend’s face, and her eyes narrowed.

                “What happened? Are you okay? Come inside,” she ordered, leading Aria into the kitchen. The smaller girl still hadn’t said anything, and Spencer was growing more concerned by the second. She didn’t see any visible signs of injury, but that didn’t mean Aria wasn’t hurt. If Fitz had hurt her… Spencer poured a cup of coffee and added milk and sugar, just the way Aria liked.

                “What’s wrong?” she asked softly, sliding the mug toward her friend. Aria accepted the drink and took a long drink. She didn’t even comment on how strong it was, a sure indication that she wasn’t her normal self.

                “Ezra and I broke up,” she said dully. Spencer’s eyebrows knitted together in concern.

                “What happened? I thought everything was going well,” she said. Aria sighed and shook her head.

                “It was, I guess. But then it wasn’t. I think we both knew it wasn’t working, but neither of us wanted to admit it,” she said. Spencer nodded sympathetically.

                “Do you want to hang out, watch a movie?” she asked, deciding that her studying could wait. Aria nodded.

                “I do, but there’s something I need to say and after I say it you might not want me to stay anymore,” she said. Spencer frowned, wondering what could possibly have Aria this knotted up. She couldn’t imagine a situation in which she wouldn’t want Aria to stay.

                “Ar, what is it? Did A do something?” she asked, growing more concerned by the second. Aria shook her head.

                “No, it’s not A. Well, A’s involved, in a way. That’s why I have to tell you, because if I don’t, A will,” Aria rambled, the text she had received still imprinted in her mind.

“Aria, just tell me,” Spencer implored.

“I’m… I’m gay,” Aria whispered, closing her eyes so she didn’t have to see the look on her friend’s face.

                “Aria—”

                “You don’t have to say anything,” Aria interrupted. Spencer’s frown deepened. Sure, this information was a surprise, but it didn’t change anything. She couldn’t believe that Aria was so concerned about her reaction.

                “Aria, what’s going on? You’re my best friend. I don’t care if you’re gay. Why would I care? I didn’t care that Emily’s gay, and I don’t care if you’re gay. You’re my Aria,” she said. A tear ran down Aria’s face.

                “Spence, I’m not just gay. I… I like you. I don’t know how A found out, but they did, and they threatened to tell you if I didn’t. I’ve liked you for a while, I’ve just been afraid to admit it because you’re straight and I don’t want to ruin our friendship and—”

                Spencer leaned across the kitchen island and pressed her lips to Aria’s. Aria gasped, but kissed Spencer back.

                “What was that?” Aria asked when they finally broke apart. Spencer shrugged.

                “You didn’t want me to say anything, so I thought I’d show you instead,” she explained.

“What are you saying?” Aria asked. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

“I’m pretty sure the whole point was that I wasn’t saying anything, I was showing,” she said seriously.  Aria shook her head in amusement.

                “Do you want to show me again?” she asked. Spencer laughed and kissed her again. It was different from the kisses she’d shared with Toby. Aria’s lips were smaller, softer, somehow more inviting. Yet, at the same time, it felt completely familiar.

                “By the way, this doesn’t mean I’m going to watch _The Real L Word,_ ” Spencer warned, referring to Emily and Hanna’s new favorite show. Aria laughed.

                “It’s not that bad, actually,” she defended. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “Just shut up and kiss me.”


	59. Wow--Paily

                Ever since she had been a little girl, Paige had dreamed of competing in the Olympics. As far back as she could remember, every two years she and her mother would watch the competition together. She’d stare at the television in awe as figure skaters and skiers, gymnasts and runners all put their bodies to the limit. Her favorite event, however, had always been the swimming. She’d been fascinated by the way their bodies glided through the water, and secretly thought they were more fish than human.

                So, as soon as she’d been old enough, she’d asked her parents if she could enroll in swimming lessons. From the moment she dipped her toes in the water, the pool became her second home. On land, she was awkward, uncoordinated, unpopular Paige McCullers. But in the pool, she was graceful, fast, and elegant. In the pool, she could forget who she was. The only thing that existed was her, her and the water. And the only thing that mattered was being the best.

                And she was the best. For most of her swimming career, Paige was the best. Emily had been better than her, at least for a while, but she was used to dominating in the pool. It was where she was most herself. And in college, her Olympic dreams were almost realized. She was so close she could taste it. Her dream was going to become a reality.

                Until a semi-truck plowed into her car. One minute, she’d been driving home from practice, and the next minute she was opening her eyes in a hospital room. She hadn’t been seriously injured—thank God—except for one small injury. Her knee.

                Two surgeries and six months of physical therapy later, and she’d regained approximately eighty percent of the movement in her knee. Unfortunately, it was that remaining twenty percent that was going to take her to the Olympics. She’d met with a number of coaches, who only months previously had been fighting over her, and they all refused to take her on as a client. They said she’d never be able to compete again.

                Paige was reminded of the time in high school when she’d arranged for Emily to meet with a trainer, only for her to end up infuriated with Paige for ever getting her hopes up. She hadn’t been able to understand it at the time. _Hope_ , she’d thought. She was giving Emily hope. But maybe Spencer Hastings had always been right. Maybe hope really was eternal misery.

                “Paige? Are you ready to go?” Emily asked, startling Paige out of her thoughts. Paige sighed and stood up.

                “Yeah. You don’t have to come with me, you know,” she said. Emily shrugged. She knew Paige wouldn’t mind if she stayed home while she went to rehab. Sometimes, in fact, she thought Paige might prefer it. But she liked driving Paige to and from the small center. It made her feel included in Paige’s life, which was something she hadn’t felt since the accident.

                The drive there was silent, as usual. Paige always got moody when it was time for her physical therapy. She’d been furious when they’d decreased it from four days a week to two days a week. But her trainer had insisted that she was pushing herself too far, and it wasn’t going to do her any well if she ran herself into the ground.

                “Hey, I was thinking I’d come in today,” Emily said nonchalantly. Paige frowned. At her insistence, Emily hadn’t come in since the first day.

                “Why? There’s no need,” she said. Emily shrugged, and got out of the car.

                “I just thought I would,” she said. Before Paige could argue with her, Emily was inside the building. Paige sighed, and followed her girlfriend.

                “Emily, where are you going?” Paige asked when she turned down the wrong hall. While she tried to keep Emily from coming to therapy with her, she knew the other woman knew where it was.

                “Paige! We’re trying something new today,” Lena said. Lena was a small redheaded woman who had been working with Paige since she’d gotten out of the hospital.

                “What? Something new?” Paige asked, confused. Lena nodded.

                “It was Emily’s idea, actually. Emily?” She turned to the other woman. Emily took a deep breath, steeling herself for possible angry protests.

                “You’re getting in the pool today,” she said. Paige’s eyes widened.

                “What?” she asked. Emily nodded.

                “I told Lena I thought it would be good for you to get in the pool again. You still might not get back that twenty percent, or be able to swim professionally, but I thought you might enjoy it,” she explained.

                “Wow,” Paige said softly. Emily raised an eyebrow.

                “Is that a good wow or a bad wow?” she asked. Paige seemed to consider the question for a moment. On one hand, this felt like a terrible idea. If she got into that pool, all of her old dreams would come rushing back, dreams she’d already given up on. But if she refused to step into the pool, would she ever be able to forgive herself? She might even be able to enjoy swimming again, just for fun.

                “You have to swim for yourself,” Paige said softly, an old memory coming to mind. Emily furrowed her eyebrows.

                “What?” she asked, confused.

                “You have to swim for yourself. That’s what you told me, back in high school. When I said that I didn’t even like swimming anymore, you told me I had to swim for myself and forget everyone else,” Paige said. A small smile began to form on Emily’s face as she remembered back to the night she’d said those words.

                “So it’s a good wow?” she asked hopefully. Paige nodded, smiling as well. She might not ever make it to the Olympics. She might not be able to be a professional swimmer. But that didn’t mean the pool couldn’t be her second home. It didn’t mean she couldn’t love swimming again.

                “It’s a good wow.”


	60. Happy Birthday--Spanna

                Sitting alone in her hotel room, Hanna couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this guilty. She’d felt guilty when she’d danced with Lucas to get back her mother’s stolen money. She’d felt guilty when she’d accused Paige of being A, only for her to be kidnapped by a different threat. She’d felt guilty when she’d stopped visiting her mother in Rosewood, forcing her to come to New York instead. But being away on a business trip in California on her wife’s thirtieth birthday made her feel guiltier than anything ever before.

                Spencer had been more than understanding, of course. They both had frequent business trips, and they knew how it worked. If your boss said that you were going across the county for the weekend, you were going across the country for the weekend. At least, you did if you wanted to keep your job. They both knew this, but it didn’t stop Hanna from feeling bad. She remembered when she’d turned thirty a couple of months ago. Spencer had planned a fancy dinner at Hanna’s favorite restaurant, they’d gone to a movie that Hanna had been looking forward to seeing, and then they shared a bottle of champagne and lost themselves in each other for the rest of the night. She’d been planning to do the same for Spencer’s birthday, and she felt terrible that she couldn’t.

                The clock ticked eight o’clock California time and Hanna pressed number one on her speed dial. It rang several times before there was an answer.

                “Hello?” Spencer asked groggily.

                “Were you asleep?” Hanna asked, surprised. Spencer usually stayed up working into the wee hours of the night, and Hanna couldn’t imagine that she’d gone to bed this early.

                “Mmhmm. I fell asleep on the couch reading my latest case file,” she admitted. Hanna rolled her eyes. It was such a Spencer thing to fall asleep on the couch instead of moving to the bed when she started feeling tired.

                “Is everything okay? Why are you calling so late?” Spencer asked, concern creeping into her voice.

                “Oh! Happy birthday!” she exclaimed, wishing she’d opened with that. She knew what a worrier Spencer was, and a late night call was certainly something that set her off. She could practically hear Spencer checking her watch.

                “I didn’t even realize it was midnight already. I feel like I only drifted off a couple of minutes ago,” Spencer said. Hanna laughed.

                “How long have you been asleep, babe?” she asked.

                “I might have fallen asleep around eight or nine. Don’t laugh! I can hear you laughing! I had a really long day at work, and I had a glass of wine to relax, and I fell right asleep,” she explained.

                “I’m not laughing! You deserve to go to sleep early, especially the night before your birthday. What are you doing tomorrow?” she asked, hoping Spencer had made plans with someone else.

                “I’m having lunch with Aria and then Emily’s going to bring over a cake. I’m not supposed to know about that, though,” she said. Hanna rolled her eyes.

“How _do_ you know about it?” she asked. She could picture Spencer shrugging guiltily.

“I have my ways. And it was kind of a giveaway when Emily tried to discreetly prod me about what my favorite kind of cake was,” she admitted. Hanna laughed, glad that her wife wouldn’t be completely alone on her birthday. After quickly telling Spencer about the meeting she’d had that day, and listening to Spencer complain about the other lawyer at her firm, the two women said their goodnights and hung up the phone.

Hanna still felt guilty, but she knew just how she could make it all up to Spencer when she returned home. (Five inch heels and nothing else.)


	61. I'll Pick It Up After Work--Sparia

                Spencer Hastings hated Thanksgiving. She’d always hated Thanksgiving and the pressure that came with it, but this year was especially bad. This year her parents were coming to her and Aria’s house for dinner, and they were notoriously judgmental about family gatherings. She had been cooking for what felt like hours, but had only actually been about a half hour. She was determined that everything would be up to Hastings standards. She was making everything: turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie. Her parents hadn’t told her what—if anything—they were bringing, and she didn’t want Peter or Veronica to find anything they could fault. She’d never forget the year they went to her aunt’s house and her parents had been scandalized by the canned cranberry sauce. They’d never gone there for Thanksgiving again.

                “Aria, where’s the whipping cream?” she asked. She didn’t need it yet, but she’d learned from cooking shows that you should always know where all your ingredients were before you started cooking. She couldn’t find the whipping cream anywhere and she was starting to be concerned. Pumpkin pie without whipped cream wasn’t pie at all.

                “I don’t know. Why?” Aria asked, walking into the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee. Spencer fought the urge to roll her eyes and snap at her girlfriend. Why did she think?

                “Because I can’t find it and I’m worried it somehow got left off our shopping list. You did the shopping, right? Do you remember buying it?” she asked. Aria shrugged, adding milk and sugar to her mug.

                “I don’t know. Maybe? But just take a breath and calm down. It’s okay,” she said. Spencer glared at her.

                “It is _not_ okay! I’m probably going to burn the stupid turkey, my parents are going to know I made half of this ahead of time, and if I ruin dessert the entire meal will be ruined because that’s what we’ll end with! Damn it, why couldn’t they crash Melissa’s house?” she asked, near tears. Aria stepped toward her girlfriend and put her hands on her arms.

                “Spence, breathe. Everything is going to be okay. They’re not going to Melissa’s house because you and I both know they still hate Wren. Honestly, I’m flattered that they like me more than him. They’re coming here, and everything is going to work out fine. You will not burn the turkey, and lots of people start cooking ahead of time. Otherwise they wouldn’t get everything done. I don’t know if we have whipping cream, but it doesn’t matter. You’re not going to make the whipped cream until tomorrow, right?” she asked. Spencer nodded.

                “Okay. I’ll pick it up after work. If you happen to find it in the fridge in the meantime, just send me a text. Or don’t, it won’t kill us to have extra whipping cream,” she said seriously. Spencer nodded again, trying to calm down. She already felt better, but she was still stressed out.

                “Now do you think you can be alone in the kitchen and not burst an aneurysm? Do you want to see if Emily will come over?” she asked. Spencer rolled her eyes. She knew Aria was coming from a place of concern, but that was the stupidest thing she’d ever heard.

                “I’m not going to ask Emily to come over and help me cook for a meal she won’t even be eating,” she said. It was Aria’s turn to roll her eyes.

                “I didn’t mean she would help you cook, I meant to keep you company. I happen to know that Paige has work today and Emily’s home alone. They’re not hosting Thanksgiving, so Emily doesn’t have anything to do,” she said. Spencer shot her a suspicious look.

                “How do you know all of this?” she asked. Aria shrugged innocently.

                “Paige might have mentioned that Emily’s been a little bit down lately, and she thought it might be good for her to hang out with her best friend,” she said. Spencer narrowed her eyes.

                “So why didn’t she call Hanna? You and I both know Hanna isn’t busy cooking today,” she pointed out. Aria snorted at the idea of Hanna cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Caleb might try to throw something together if he was feeling festive, but more than likely the couple wouldn’t do anything special.

                Most years, the group of friends all came together on Thanksgiving. They’d take turns with whose house they’d gather at, and they all brought a dish. It was a relaxed, fun way for them to spend the day. They’d been planning on doing the same thing this year until Peter and Veronica Hastings—who had moved to Philadelphia for Veronica’s job—had announced that they’d be in Rosewood this year and would Spencer mind if they came over for Thanksgiving? Of course, Spencer had felt like she couldn’t say no.

                “Damn, I was really hoping you’d say you wanted Emily to come over,” Aria muttered. Spencer put a hand on her hip.

                “Aria Montgomery, what did you do?” she asked. Aria shrugged.

                “I told Emily that you’d be happy for her to come over for a couple of hours today,” she admitted. Spencer groaned.

                “If she’s coming over, she’s going to help me,” Spencer threatened. Aria nodded.

                “She’s okay with that,” she said. Spencer frowned.

                “On second thought, maybe not. The last time I ate something Emily cooked it had a hair in it,” she remembered. Aria rolled her eyes.

                “That was high school. She’s improved since then,” she promised. Spencer grimaced.

                “Fine. And you better remember to go to the store!” she reminded her. Aria nodded and gave Spencer a peck on the cheek.

                “I will, don’t worry. Emily will be over in a half hour, so try not to have a meltdown before then,” she said jokingly. Spencer rolled her eyes. Aria kissed her again, saying goodbye.

                “I’ll be home after work. Try not to stress out too much. Your parents will love whatever you do,” she promised. Spencer snorted. Clearly Aria hadn’t spent enough time with Peter and Veronica.

                “Don’t forget the whipping cream!”


	62. It Can Wait Until Tomorrow--Spanna

                It was a quiet Saturday night in a small New York apartment. Spencer had several books open on the coffee table and was typing away furiously on her laptop. She had a paper due on Monday, and she had no idea what she was writing about. She enjoyed her criminal justice class, but for some reason she was at a loss with this assignment. It was a strange feeling for her, one that transported her back to her junior year of high school when she’d copied Melissa’s Russian History paper. But now she was on her own, without her older sister’s old assignments. She glanced at her word count and groaned. She was only three hundred words into a two thousand word paper.

                She was so engrossed in her work that she didn’t hear the front door being opened.

                “Hey, babe,” Hanna greeted, making Spencer jump. Apparently crime didn’t mix well with being snuck up on.

                “You’ve been working on that all weekend. Aren’t you done yet?” Hanna asked, plopping down on the couch next to her. Spencer glared at her girlfriend, who had put her feet on the coffee table, knocking over one of her books. She bent down to pick up the book. _The Art of Criminal Justice_. She rolled her eyes at the title. There was nothing artful about criminal justice, at least as far as she could tell.

                “No. I’ve had to start over like four times. And get your feet off the table before you break it,” she ordered. Hanna sighed, but moved her feet.

                “Can’t you take a break? Just a short one?” she asked. Spencer shook her head and reached for her coffee.

                “No way. This is due Monday and I’m only a fourth of the way through it,” she said. Hanna rolled her eyes, then narrowed them as she noticed Spencer’s bouncing foot.

                “And what number cup of coffee are you on?” she asked. Spencer shrugged.

                “I dunno, it’s the second pot,” she said. Hanna grabbed the cup.

                “What are you doing?” Spencer asked, her voice rising to an extremely high pitch. Hanna raised an eyebrow.

                “I’m cutting you off. You’re going to have a heart attack if you keep going at this rate,” she admonished. Spencer gave her a pout.

                “I always drink this much coffee. And I need it if I’m going to get through this paper!” she protested.

                “You need to take a break. When’s the last time you ate?” she asked. Spencer thought, realizing that she couldn’t remember when she’d last eaten. Breakfast? Or had she just had coffee that morning?

                “That’s it, come on,” Hanna ordered, stealing Spencer’s laptop. Spencer squealed in horror, imagining all of her hard work being erased.

                “Wait! Be careful! I need to save that!” she exclaimed. Hanna squinted at the screen—she knew she needed to get glasses at some point, but she was still resisting—and pressed the save button.

                “Okay, it’s saved. It’s not going anywhere. I’m going to make a couple of grilled cheeses and you’re going to come into the kitchen with me and eat dinner, got it?” she asked, leaving no room for protest. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “You’re overreacting, Han!” she called after her girlfriend. Knowing that the other woman wouldn’t give up until she got her way, Spencer saved her document (just in case Hanna hadn’t done it right) and closed her books before joining her girlfriend in the kitchen.

                “I still need to finish that,” she warned. Hanna shook her head, pushing a glass of water to Spencer.

                “It can wait until tomorrow,” Hanna said. Spencer pursed her lips, but decided not to argue. After all, she _was_ pretty tired. And maybe she’d have an easier time getting into the writing groove tomorrow. Still, she wasn’t about to let Hanna know she was right.

                “Are you going to let me work on it tomorrow?” she asked. Hanna pretended to be offended.

                “I always let you work!” she protested. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

                “Okay, forgive me for making sure you don’t run yourself into the ground,” she said. Spencer shook her head, amused by the look on Hanna’s face. It was a mixture of guilt and indignation, and it was absolutely adorable.

                So maybe she wasn’t going to get any more work done tonight, after all. There was always tomorrow.


	63. Cross My Heart and Hope to Die-Spanna

_I killed Charlotte. I killed Charlotte. I killed Charlotte._

The words echoed through Spencer's head on repeat. It wasn't possible, was it? She and Hanna had been together that night. She would have noticed if the blonde had been gone long enough to kill someone. Except... except she had been drunk. And she hadn't noticed Aria leave. Hanna had been the one to notice that, and what if she'd noticed because she'd left too? No, it wasn't possible. Spencer knew Hanna, and she knew her girlfriend wasn't capable of killing someone. Except… except she knew how much the Dollhouse haunted Hanna.

The room was blurring around her, and she felt like she was under water. She barely processed that Hanna had turned to Caleb and said something. In fact, she was in a daze as Hanna explained her entire plan. She didn't realize Hanna was done talking until she snapped her fingers, breaking her out of her mental fog.

"Are you going to say anything?" she asked once she'd gotten Spencer's attention. The brunette opened and closed her mouth several times, trying to work out what she wanted to say. She realized that she hadn’t comprehended a single thing her girlfriend had said.

"Explain it to me again," she said finally. Hanna huffed impatiently, but did as her girlfriend asked. As soon as she finished, Spencer started talking.

"No. No way. You are not going to do this," Spencer said, shaking her head in disbelief and horror. She was still reeling from her girlfriend's 'confession' and now this absolute insanity. Hanna pursed her lips.

"I have to, Spence! We need this to end!" she argued. Personally, she thought her plan was excellent. And though they had broken up years before, she had complete faith in Caleb’s ability and desire to keep her safe.

"Yeah, but not by using you as bait!" Spencer shot back.

“This person is dangerous! They stole Emily’s eggs, they tried to set Aria on fire, and they somehow sent Ali flying down a flight of stairs! If we don’t do something, one of us will be next!” Hanna yelled.

“And you have just described the exact reason why this is a terrible idea! If this person is willing to do that much damage just to find out who killed Charlotte, imagine what they’d do to the person they believed was the killer!” Spencer yelled back. Caleb watched the two women argue, wondering if he should leave. Before he could slip out, Spencer seemed to remember he was there.

"You! How could you agree to help her with this? You can't seriously tell me you think this is a good idea!" Spencer yelled angrily. He shrugged. Spencer had risen a good point about how dangerous this person was, but what choice did he have? Hanna had made up her mind.

"I think it's a better idea to help her than it is to let her do it alone, which is what she would do if I didn't agree," he said. Spencer glared at him with a ferocity that would send most people running for the hills.

"He's right, Spence. You can't talk me out of this," Hanna said stubbornly. Unexpected tears began to leak from Spencer's eyes and she sat down on the couch, her head in her hands. Hanna sat down next to her and began rubbing her back. She understood why her girlfriend was upset. If the situations were reversed, she’d probably be upset too. But that didn’t change the fact that they needed to end this.

"Everything's going to be okay, Spence. This will work, and we'll find out who this bitch is once and for all," she said. Spencer looked at her with teary eyes.

"I don't want you to get hurt," she whispered. Hanna smiled softly and wiped away Spencer’s tears with her thumb.

"I’m not going to get hurt, babe. This bitch will be caught in an electric fence long before they can get to me. And even if they managed to get to the room, it will be completely sealed up. I'll be perfectly safe the entire time, okay?" she said, reassuring both herself and her girlfriend.

“Well, if that’s true, why don’t I stay in the room with you?” Spencer asked. Hanna shook her head vehemently.

“No. Absolutely not,” Hanna said. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

“Why not? If it’s perfectly safe, why can’t I be there with you?” she asked. Hanna sighed and squeezed Spencer’s hand.

“Babe, if this person is watching and they see you go in there with me, they’ll know it’s a set up. We need to be careful if we want this to work,” she said. Spencer sighed. Hanna had a good point, she had to admit. If they were going to do this, they couldn’t do it halfway.

“And you’re absolutely sure she’ll be safe?” Spencer asked Caleb. He nodded.

“Everything will be okay, Spence,” Hanna said.

"You promise?" Spencer asked. Hanna nodded confidently.

"Cross my heart and hope to die," she said. Spencer frowned, not wanting to put Hanna and death in the same thought.

"Don't say that," she said. Hanna's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

"It's a just saying, Spence," she said. Spencer would have rolled her eyes if she hadn't been so upset.

"I know it's a saying but I don't like it. I never have. Especially the next part about the needle and the eye," she said. Hanna winced.

“Yeah, I kinda forgot about that part of it,” she admitted. She squeezed Spencer's hand.

"Everything will be fine," she promised, before pressing a gentle kiss to her girlfriend’s forehead. Spencer let out a heavy sigh, but realized she had no choice but to trust her girlfriend. Caleb would make sure Hanna was completely untouchable, and then this would all be over. No one else was going to be hurt by this monster.

If only she had known how wrong she had been, she never would have let the blonde out of her sight.

 


	64. It's Two Sugars, Right?-Paily

                Paige fidgeted nervously, waiting for Emily to return with their coffees. Running into her ex-girlfriend had been the last thing she’d expected when she’d gone to Rosewood High to apply for a swim coach position. The two women hadn’t been in touch since their breakup, and she hadn’t realized Emily was back in Rosewood. She certainly wouldn’t have bothered applying for the job if she’d known Emily was doing the same.

                “It’s two sugars, right?” Emily asked, sliding the cup of coffee to her. Paige nodded and accepted the coffee. It felt so familiar, sitting in the Brew, drinking coffee together. Except now there was a distance between them that had never been there before.

                “Thanks,” she said, at a loss for any other words. She wasn’t sure why Emily had asked her to join her at the Brew. Their breakup had been fairly bitter, and she seemed to recall the words _don’t bother calling me_ being thrown in her face. Despite all this, she was still happy to see the other woman. She’d always been weak when it came to Emily.

                “So what’d you want to talk about?” she asked. Emily sighed and looked down at her coffee, as if it would tell her what to say.

                “You’re probably wondering why I’m in Rosewood,” she said. Paige raised an eyebrow. Of course she’d wondered, but she didn’t think it was her place to question it.

                “Your mom does live here,” she pointed out. Emily nodded.

                “I’m not just visiting if I’m applying for a job,” she said. Paige sighed. Now not only was she wondering why Emily was in town, but she was wondering why they were playing guessing games.  

                “Em, why don’t you just tell me instead of making me guess?” Paige suggested tiredly.

                “I came back to testify at Charlotte DiLaurentis’s trial,” she explained. Paige tried to keep a blank face. Toward the end of their relationship, when everything had turned into an argument, Charlotte had been one of Emily’s biggest triggers. She’d get a text or e-mail from Alison that mentioned Charlotte, and Emily would take it out on Paige. She knew Emily was just upset about her dad’s death, and she didn’t know how to cope, but it had taken a toll on their relationship.

                “How’d that go?” she asked, hoping she sounded uninterested. Emily pursed her lips.

                “The judge released her. And the next day she was dead,” she said flatly. Paige’s jaw dropped. She certainly hadn’t been expecting that.

                “What happened?” she asked.

                “Are you asking if it was one of us?” Emily asked. Paige shook her head.

                “Someone killed her. We don’t know who. But someone thinks we know,” she said. Paige’s eyebrows furrowed together.

                “What do you mean? Does Alison think you know? The police?” she questioned. Emily shook her head.

                “No. It’s happening again. We don’t know who it is, but they’re determined to find out who killed Charlotte. And for some reason, they think we know who it was,” she said. Paige frowned.

                “Do you?” she asked hesitantly. Emily shrugged again.

                “We all have our suspicions. But no, we don’t know. We thought maybe it was Melissa Hastings for a while. Spencer’s convinced it was Mona. Mona’s convinced it was Spencer. Hanna thought it might have been Ezra. Aria was afraid it was Byron,” she listed the suspects they’d gone through.

                “Sounds like a mess,” Paige commented. Emily nodded.

                “Yeah, well, Charlotte had a lot of enemies. We even thought it might have been Alison for a while,” she admitted. Paige’s eyes widened in surprise. Either things had changed _a lot_ or something big had happened to make Emily suspect Alison.

                “What changed your mind?” Paige asked. Emily shrugged, her new trademark motion.

                “Things… things happened. Things I can’t tell you about. Bad things. It’s co—”

                “Complicated,” Paige finished for her. Emily blushed.

                “Exactly,” she said.

                “So why are you telling me this?” Paige asked. Emily sighed.

                “Because it’s not safe to stay in Rosewood. Go back to California, Paige. You hate Rosewood. A job at your former high school can’t be worth staying here,” she said. Paige’s lips formed a thin line.

                “So that’s why I’m here? So you can tell me to leave town? You know, the entire world does not revolve around you, Emily,” she said bitterly. A hurt look flickered across Emily’s face.

                “That’s not what I’m saying. I’m just trying to keep you safe!” she exclaimed, lowering her voice when she noticed people looking at them.

                “This isn’t high school anymore, Emily. I don’t need you to keep me safe. Look, you have your reasons for being here, and I have mine. Let’s just live our own lives,” she said. Emily opened her mouth to argue, but shut it again. Maybe Paige had a point. This AD had no reason to go after Paige if she and Emily weren’t connected.

                “I’ll see you around,” Paige softly. Emily nodded.

                “I’ll see you.”


	65. I'll Help You Study-McHastings

Paige couldn't believe she had agreed to this. She was actually having a study date with Spencer Hastings. Okay, admittedly it wasn’t a date, per say, but it was close enough. She would be alone with Spenceer. It was both her dream and her nightmare. She was terrified of looking stupid in front of the other girl, but excited about spending time with her crush. She could still remember the conversation they'd had two days ago:

_"Dammit!" Paige cursed, staring at her phone._ _She was in the locker room after field hockey practice, and she was checking her grades._

_"What's wrong?"_ _a concerned voice asked._

_Paige jumped and nearly dropped her phone, startled by the question. She'd thought she was alone, but there was Spencer Hastings standing in front of her. She tried to look normal, instead of like someone who had just nearly had a heart attack._

_"Mr. Andrews put in the scores for the last geometry test," she said. Spencer nodded, sitting down next to Paige. Paige’s eyes widened slightly. Spencer had never paid much attention to her outside of practice. She suddenly became very aware of the fact that she was sweaty, not having showered yet. Since realizing she was gay, she had been reluctant to shower in the locker rooms. Maybe she was being silly, but she was terrified that people would know she was gay and freak out. She knew it was just her own fears, but she couldn’t help it._

_"Didn't do well?" she asked. Paige knew Spencer was the smartest person in their class, and wondered if she was making fun of her. She searched her face for a trace of mocking, but found only sympathy. Deciding to trust her teammate, she shook her head._

_"No. It was pretty terrible, actually. Math has never been my strong suit, and it's been even harder than usual this year, trying to balance swimming and field hockey while still keeping my grades up," she admitted. Spencer nodded in understanding. People didn’t realize it, but she had to work her ass off to get the grades she got. While everything had always seemed easy for Melissa, she had to work for it._

_"Well, from what I’ve seen, your swimming has been good, and you've been great on the field," she complimented. Paige blushed, both from the praise itself and the fact that it was coming from Spencer._

_"Not as good as you," she said, hoping she didn’t sound jealous. Spencer shrugged._

_"I put all of my efforts into one sport," she said. Paige's shoulders sagged and Spencer quickly backtracked._

_"I don't mean that in a bad way! It's impressive that you do both. But it does mean that you have to split your attention and be good at two different things, whereas I only have to be good at one," she explained. Paige couldn’t help but smile. This was the most nervous she’d ever seen Spencer, and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy it._

_“Thanks, I think. Wait a minute. How do you know how my swimming has been?” she asked, realizing what Spencer had said._

_“Oh, I’m friends with Emily Fields. I go to the meets sometimes to support her, and I’ve seen you a few times,” she explained._

_"Unfortunately, as well as I’ve been doing on the field and in the pool, I haven’t been doing great in the classroom. My grades have taken a bit of a hit, especially in geometry. If I don't ace the next test I'm going to be kicked off the team," she said. Spencer nodded slowly. She appeared to be in deep thought. Paige waited awkwardly, afraid to say something and interrupt whatever was going on in Spencer’s head._

_"What are you doing Friday night?" Spencer asked suddenly. Paige gave her a puzzled look, unsure of where she was going with this._

_"Nothing, why?"_

_"Well, you need help in geometry, and I’m getting an A. Come over. I'll help you study,"_ _she offered, leaving no room for Paige to protest._

 

And that was how she found herself standing on Spencer's porch, terrified of doing something stupid or revealing her true feelings for the other girl. It had been easier when they were just teammates who barely said two words to each other. Now they were going to be alone together. What if Spencer saw right through her? Taking a deep breath, Paige raised her arm and knocked on the door. It was now or never.

                “Paige!” Spencer exclaimed, swinging the door open. Paige smiled nervously.

                “Hey,” she said, hoping she didn’t sound too awkward. She had thought she lived in one of the fancier Rosewood houses, but it was nothing compared to the Hastings house. The place was intimidatingly huge.

                “Come on in! My parents are out of town on a business trip, so it’s just us,” she explained, leading Paige to her bedroom. Paige felt her heart speeding up. She had known they’d be alone, but she had assumed there would be _someone_ else somewhere in the house.

                “Don’t you have a sister?” Paige asked. Spencer grimaced.

                “Yes, but she’s away at college,” she said, wondering why Paige was bringing up Melissa. Of course her older sister would be dragged into the conversation.

                “Do you like having a sister?” Paige asked, trying to make conversation. Spencer frowned.

                “Not particularly,” she said flatly.

                “Oh. I just wondered. I don’t have any siblings, so I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a sister,” she explained. She hoped she hadn’t upset Spencer.

                “It’s complicated in this house. Did you bring your geometry book? We can order a pizza if you want. I would have ordered it before, but I didn’t know what you liked, so I decided to wait until you got here,” she rambled. Paige smiled, touched that Spencer had put so much thought into this.

                “I’m into anything, really. Pizza is pizza, you know? And, yes, I brought my book. I might be failing geometry, but I’m not failing common sense,” she joked. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “I’ll order cheese, then. If you don’t care. How about you start with this problem set while I call?” she suggested. Paige frowned.

                “I’m probably going to do them all wrong,” she said. If she’d known she was just going to sit here and do problem sets by herself she would have done it at home. Spencer nodded.

                “Good. Then I can see where you’re making mistakes and work with you to fix them,” she explained. Paige shook her head in awe.

                “I’ll be right back. You get started,” Spencer ordered. Paige gave her a mock salute before setting to work on the problem.

                Maybe it was in her head, but suddenly geometry didn’t seem so boring.


	66. Stay Over-Paily

“Whose apartment is this?” Paige asked the second Emily opened the door to let her in. Emily looked surprised at the question, as if she’d been expecting Paige to ask something else.

“It’s Lucas’s. He’s out of town and he’s been letting Hanna stay here, and she’s been letting me stay here,” she explained. She sat down on the edge of the couch, and gestured for Paige to do the same.

"Thanks for coming over," Emily said quietly, deciding not to bother with more small talk. Paige sat down next to her. She’d been surprised, but pleased when Emily had called to ask her to come over.

"Of course. Em... what's going on? You sounded really upset on the phone," she said, concern lacing her voice. Emily swallowed heavily, not sure where to start. She’d told Paige that it had started again, but it was still complicated, and she didn’t know how to explain it.

"It's Noel Kahn," she said. Paige frowned, confused. She hadn’t thought about Noel Kahn in years.

"What about him?" she asked.

"He's Charlotte's brother. He's the person who's been threatening us," Emily said. Paige's frown deepened. She didn’t want to outright say Emily was wrong, but she was pretty sure she was in fact wrong.

"Em, are you sure? My mom is friends with his mom. There are pictures of them together back before we were born. They were in a one of those exercise classes for pregnant women together. Ellie Kahn was definitely pregnant around the time Noel would have been born," Paige said. Emily tilted her head in confusion.

“Damn. It just doesn't make any sense. We were so sure the baby was Noel. And we know he was in the Dollhouse," she said, rubbing her temples tiredly. Paige furrowed her eyebrows.

"How do you know that?" she asked, sensing she wouldn’t like the answer. Emily grimaced.

"We found a flash drive. Don’t ask how or where; it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is what was on it. It had videos of him in the Dollhouse. He... he's the one who cut Aria's hair off. And he's the one who put blood on Spencer to make her think she hurt someone. It's all on the flash drive," she explained. Paige gasped. She knew Noel had been a dick in high school, but she never would have imagined he could have done something this bad.

"Where's the flash drive? You need to give it to the police!" Paige urged. Emily nodded, wishing the flash drive was safe in her hands instead of with Spencer.

"Yeah, I know. It’s with Spencer right now, but we can't go to the police before we talk to Hanna. She deserves to know about it," she said regretfully. Paige frowned.

"Where is she?" she asked. Emily shrugged.

"That is the question, isn't it? I'm really worried about her. She was convinced that Noel was AD. She wanted us to go to the police, but we didn't have enough evidence.  Now she's disappeared and I'm worried she's doing something stupid." 

"Have you tried calling her?" Paige asked. Emily gave her a look.

"Okay, dumb question. Of course you have." 

Emily's phone rang, startling both women. Hope filled her chest at the thought that it could be Hanna. Her heart fell when she saw Spencer’s name instead.

"Hey Spence, what's up?" Emily asked. Paige watched as Emily's face drained of color.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" she asked. A look of horror crossed Emily's face.

"No, it's not your fault. Did you make a copy of it? It’s okay, I’m not mad. The important thing is that you're safe. Yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

She put down the phone.

"What's wrong?" Paige asked when Emily didn't make a move to explain what had just happened.

"Someone broke into Spencer's house. She's okay, but they took the flash drive," Emily said numbly. She couldn’t believe this had happened. She didn’t blame Spencer, she knew she couldn’t have helped what happened, but she also couldn’t help but think that it wouldn’t have happened if she’d had the flash drive. Paige's eyes widened.

"Oh my god. You should go over there and be with her. She shouldn’t be alone right now. I'll leave," Paige said, getting up.

"Stay over. Please," Emily begged, grasping Paige's hand. Paige froze.  

"Spencer's fine. She’s not alone. We'll just sleep, I promise. I really don't want to be alone," Emily whispered. Paige hesitated. Emily had a girlfriend. Even if nothing happened between the two of them, Emily should have been confiding in someone else. There was someone else she should be finding comfort in. But her willpower had always been nonexistent when it came to Emily, and it appeared that was one thing that hadn't changed. The words were out of her mouth before she could give it another thought.

"Okay. I'll stay," she agreed. Emily’s face lit up, and Paige felt her butterflies flutter in her stomach.

Emily Fields was going to be the death of her.


	67. I Did the Dishes-Spanna

                For the most part, things ran smoothly at the Hastings-Marin household—despite having three children under the age of six. This was true for a number of reasons. First, the couple always presented a united front that kept their children in line. Second, they divided up chores and kept to the schedule. For example, Spencer did dishes every night, and Hanna bathed the children. Spencer took the trash out, and Hanna walked the dogs. Spencer packed lunches, and Hanna made dinner. And so on it went. It worked for them, and it kept the house from descending into chaos.

                Despite their near perfect system, on this particular night Spencer found herself seriously wishing they had a different system in place. She’d been stuck at work late, she hadn’t had a chance to eat, and now she was going to come home to a sink full of dishes that she hadn’t even dirtied. As she entered the house, she was greeted by her wife.

                “Hey, babe,” Hanna said, giving her a kiss. “The twins have already had their bath and Mara is in there right now. There’s dinner waiting for you on the table. Oh, and I did the dishes.”

                Spencer felt a wave of love pass over her. It wasn’t that Hanna wasn’t usually considerate, but they were both fairly busy so they normally stuck to the plan in place. Finding that Hanna had gone above and beyond for her today was wonderful.

                “Thank you so much, Han. Do you want me to go finish Mara’s bath?” she offered. Hanna rolled her eyes and shook her head.

                “No, I want you to go eat dinner while I finish Mara’s bath. She’s almost done, anyway. She was playing when I left,” she said. Spencer gave her another kiss.

                “Thanks, sweetie. I appreciate it,” she said. Hanna grinned at her before leaving to go upstairs. She was _so_ getting laid tonight.

                After wolfing down dinner, Spencer joined her wife and children upstairs. As promised, Lucy and Gabrielle were already bathed and were playing with stuffed animals in their room.

                “Mama!” Gabrielle exclaimed when she saw Spencer, immediately dropping her elephant. She toddled over to her as fast as her three year old legs would let her, with Lucy hot on her heels.

                “Hey, babies,” Spencer greeted, kneeling down to hug her daughters.

                “Mama’s home?” Mara screeched from the other room. A moment later, she had launched herself into Spencer’s arms.

                “Mara!” Hanna chastised, following her daughter with a hairbrush in her hand. She held it up, reminding her daughter that they’d been in the middle of something before she’d run off.

                “Sorry, Mommy. Can Mama brush my hair tonight?” she asked, looking at Spencer with hopeful eyes. Hanna rolled her own eyes and handed the brush to Spencer, who began brushing her daughter’s hair while Hanna got the twins into bed. Lucy and Gabrielle had been Hanna’s miracle babies. While Hanna couldn’t have loved Mara more if she tried, she’d always wanted to have a baby of her own. Despite her initial difficulty getting pregnant, leading to Spencer having Mara, they’d decided to give it another go. To their immense surprise, Hanna had gotten pregnant on her first try post-Mara. The doctor had explained that this happened sometimes. A seemingly infertile couple would get pregnant immediately after adopting. And so, their last ditch effort at Hanna having a baby had produced _two._

                “Were you three good for Mommy tonight?” Spencer asked. Mara nodded, a serious look on her face.

                “Yeah, but Mommy couldn’t help me with my homework,” she pouted. Spencer suppressed a snort. At five years old, Mara was already a spitting image of her mama, and her personality followed as well. 

                “Story?” Lucy asked, looking at Spencer from her bed, her blue eyes wide. She was a quiet little thing, so unlike her mommy and her twin. Gabrielle had picked all of her mothers’ vocabulary—including a string of curse words from Hanna—but Lucy tended to speak in single word sentences.

                “Sweetie, Mama just got home. Why don’t you let me read you a story tonight?” Hanna suggested. They usually read a story to the twins first, and then to Mara. If they were in a hurry, they’d split up, but usually they liked to do it together. It was a family bonding thing that Spencer had read about.

                “It’s okay. Why don’t we all have story time together tonight?” Spencer suggested. Mara nodded eagerly and they all settled into the bed. It didn’t take long for the twins to fall asleep, but Spencer continued to read until the story was over.

                Fifteen minutes later, Spencer gently carried a sleeping Mara to her own room, leaving both twins in Lucy’s bed.

                “I’m exhausted,” she moaned when she finally crawled into her own bed. Hanna raised an eyebrow.

                “I offered to take over story time tonight,” she pointed out. Spencer nodded.

                “I know, but that’s my favorite time of the day,” she said. Hanna gave her a pout and climbed on top of her.

                “Really? I thought this was your favorite part of the day,” she said breathily, pressing feather light kisses to Spencer’s neck. The brunette moaned again, this time in pleasure.

                “Mmm… You have a point. But I might need you to remind me again,” she said. Hanna grinned.

                That night, she reminded Spencer why it was her favorite part of the day.


	68. You Didn't Have to Ask-Spanna

                It was their first night out of the Dollhouse. The four girls were all being forced to stay in the hospital overnight, though none of them wanted to. Staying in the hospital meant being alone, which was something none of them looked forward to. They’d been alone for too long; they craved human comfort. Briefly, Hanna had thought her mom might be able to stay overnight, but she hadn’t been allowed to. So instead, Hanna had made the risky journey to Spencer’s room.

                “Hey Spence?” she whispered, unsure if the other girl was awake.

                “Hanna?” Spencer replied, her voice small. Hanna tiptoed over to the bed and slipped in next to her friend.

                “Are you okay?” she asked. She’d never heard Spencer sound so small. Spencer shook her head, but didn’t elaborate.

                “It’s weird. Being out. It’s like we’re out, but not really. We’re still stuck. We’re not really free,” Hanna said. Spencer nodded.

                “How long do they want to keep you here?” she asked. Hanna shrugged.

                “They won’t tell me anything, and my mom didn’t say. She just said ‘as long as I need’. Whatever that means,” she said sarcastically. Spencer snorted.

                “Mine said practically the exact same thing. After everything we’ve been through, you’d think the doctors could talk to us like adults,” she said. Hanna nodded.

                “They can send me to jail as an adult, but they can’t give me medical information like an adult?” Hanna asked bitterly.

                “Are you… are you okay?” Spencer asked softly. She’d almost forgotten that on top of the Dollhouse trauma, Hanna was still dealing with the trauma of being in jail. Hanna wiped away a tear.

                “No. Not really. I’d never felt so alone in my life. At least not until the Dollhouse. Now I still feel so alone,” she admitted. Spencer put an arm around Hanna’s waist.

                “You don’t have to be alone,” she said quietly, her breath tickling Hanna’s face.

                “How is your breath minty fresh while mine probably smells like old gym socks?” Hanna asked. Spencer laughed lightly.

                “I made my mom sneak me some mouthwash. She was happy to oblige. And your breath is fine,” she said.

                Neither girl said anything for a couple of minutes. Then:

                “You don’t have to be alone. I mean, if you don’t want to. You can stay here, if you want,” Spencer offered, hoping Hanna would say yes. The blonde gave her a small smile.

                “You didn’t have to ask,” she said. Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed.

                “Huh?” she asked, her brain still slightly foggy. Hanna blushed.

                “I mean, I wasn’t going to leave unless you kicked me out,” she said, only halfway joking. Spencer returned the smile.

                “You don’t have to worry about that. I’d never kick you out,” Spencer promised. Hanna nuzzled against her friend, feeling safe for the first time in months. It wasn’t that she _hadn’t_ felt safe earlier in Caleb or her mother’s arms, but somehow Spencer had a way of making everything seem like it would be okay.

                “Will the nurses kick me out?” she asked. Spencer shrugged.

                “They can try,” she said, running her fingers through Hanna’s tangled hair.

                “I’m scared, Spence,” Hanna whispered. Spencer frowned.

                “What are you afraid of?” she asked. Hanna sighed.

                “Everything, really. But mostly I’m scared he’s going to come after us again. And the police don’t even know who the hell they’re looking for,” Hanna complained. Spencer nodded.

                “I know. I didn’t even feel like telling Toby that Andrew wasn’t A. He just sounded so sure of himself, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him he was wrong,” she said.

                “How is it that even after you’ve been through hell, you still worry about protecting everyone else?” Hanna asked. Spencer snorted.

                “It’s less about protecting him and more about being exhausted,” she admitted. Hanna sighed and pressed herself closer to her friend.

                “Are we safe, Spence?” Hanna asked in a childlike voice. Spencer nodded.

                “We’re safe,” she affirmed, with more confidence than she felt. If Hanna knew she was lying, she didn’t say anything.

                “Do you think Em and Aria are okay?” Hanna asked.

                “As okay as any of us are,” Spencer replied.

                “They should have let us be together. Haven’t we been through enough? Don’t we at least deserve to have some comfort?” Hanna asked, anger in her voice. Spencer pressed a soft kiss to the top of Hanna’s head.

                “Try to get some sleep, Han. Things will be better tomorrow,” Spencer promised. The blonde didn’t believe her, but she didn’t contradict her either.

                “Goodnight, Spence.”


	69. I Bought You a Ticket-Spanna

                After five years of marriage, there were few things Spencer Hastings could do that surprised Hanna. The brunette might seem like an enigma on the outside, but Hanna knew her like the back of her had. Most of the time, Hanna knew what her wife would do before she even did it. Somehow, however, Spencer had managed to plan an entire weekend trip to New York without her knowing a thing about it.

                The couple had moved to Philadelphia years ago, soon after they started dating. A few weeks after Charlotte’s killer had been discovered, they’d realized they no longer had a reason to stay in Rosewood. But with their newfound relationship, they were reluctant to be separated again. It had been a relief when Spencer had been hired full time to work for her mother, and Hanna learned she could work for her new company from anywhere. So they’d packed their bags, given up their respective apartments in New York and DC, and had moved into a small apartment together.

Hanna loved her life in Philly, but she had to admit that she missed New York sometimes. On one hand, the city had been filled with painful memories. It had been where she and Caleb had made a home for themselves, a home that had eventually fallen to pieces. It was where she’d met Jordan, and eventually broken his heart. But it was also where she’d learned to live again after A. It was where she’d learned how to be independent. It was a bustling city, where she could blend into the crowd if she didn’t want to be noticed.

                Hanna had come home that night to find her suitcase packed and next to the door, and she’d panicked, trying to figure out what was going on. She and Spencer had gotten into a small argument that morning—Hanna had finished the last of the milk and neglected to buy more—but it wasn’t _that_ big of a deal. It certainly wasn’t something Spencer would just kick her out over. And besides that little tiff, they weren’t fighting or anything. She just couldn’t think of any reason Spencer would pack her bag, if she wasn’t sending her packing. Then the brunette stepped out of the bedroom, pulling her own suitcase after her.

                “What’s going on?” Hanna asked, relief filling her chest at the sight of Spencer’s suitcase. She was still confused, but at least she could be sure she wasn’t being dumped. Spencer grinned and pulled two plane tickets out of her purse.

                “It’s your birthday present!” she exclaimed, handing one of the tickets to Hanna. The blonde stared at the small paper.

                “We’re going to New York? But my birthday isn’t for another two weeks?” she asked, excitement in her voice. Spencer nodded.

                “I know, but we both have this weekend off, so I thought we should take advantage while we could. Our flight leaves early tomorrow morning, and I knew you’d be getting home late, so I packed your bag for you. I hope you don’t mind,” she said. Hanna started to say it was fine when something occurred to her. She cocked her head.

                “Wait. New York Fashion Week starts this weekend,” she said. There were very few things she missed about working for Claudia, but free tickets to Fashion Week were one of them. She used to be able to see every look that walked down the runway, and she’d even worked backstage when Claudia was showcasing. She hadn’t been able to go since she worked for the woman, and she missed seeing the looks before they hit stores. Spencer grinned.

                “I know. I bought you a ticket,” she said proudly. Hanna’s jaw dropped. She waited for Spencer to announce that this was all a joke, but the brunette didn’t.

                 “No you didn’t,” she said. Spencer nodded and pulled the tickets out of her purse.

                “You’re right, technically I bought us both tickets. And by bought I mean I agreed to take any cases Michelle doesn’t want for the next year,” she said, referring to her partner at the law firm she worked at. Hanna stared at her in awe.

                “What?” Spencer asked, feeling self conscious. Hanna stepped forward, closing the space between them. She reached up to caress Spencer’s cheek.

                “You’re amazing,” she whispered, kissing her wife with a passion rarely realized anymore. Spencer responded eagerly.

                “How did Michelle have tickets anyway?” Hanna asked when they finally broke apart. Spencer shrugged.

                “She’s dating some new guy. I guess he’s showcasing and he got a bunch of free tickets. When she mentioned that she had extra tickets, I asked if I could buy them from her. She said she felt bad taking my money, but would give me a couple if I would take any case she didn’t want,” she explained. Hanna kissed Spencer again.

                “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she squealed excitedly. She didn’t know how much her wife would enjoy the show, but it meant a lot to her that she was taking her. Spencer grinned. Honestly, she was almost as excited as Hanna. She didn’t care much about fashion, but she was excited about a weekend vacation with her wife. A ding sounded from the kitchen.

                “You’re welcome. Now come on, there’s a pizza in the oven,” she said, leaving Hanna alone in the living room.

“Will you get mine? I’m going to go change clothes,” she said, already stripping off her shirt. She grinned to herself, still shocked by her early birthday present. Yes, sometimes her wife could still surprise her. And when she surprised her, she _really_ surprised her.


	70. You're Warm-Sparia

                Spencer yawned and stretched out in her bed, waiting for the alarm to go off. At some point in the last year, she’d started waking up within moments of the alarm. It was weird, but she felt much more rested then she did if she was awoken by the shrill beeping. Besides, as creepy as it sounded, she enjoyed seeing Aria while she was asleep. She looked so calm and peaceful.

It was a beautiful October day and she was excited to spend the day with her girlfriend. They were going to the apple orchard and they were going to pick up pumpkins. She’d never actually carved pumpkins as a kid, so she was excited to give it a try. Aria, who happened to love Halloween, had been scandalized to learn that she’d never carved a pumpkin. Just as she’d known it would without looking, the alarm went off.

                “Ugh, how are you already awake?” Aria groaned, slamming her hand against the alarm. Spencer frowned. Aria had been congested the last few days, and she sounded really bad.

                “Are you feeling okay, sweetie?” she asked. Aria responded by pulling the pillow over her head. Truthfully, she felt like shit. She’d been feeling under the weather all week, but now she felt like there was someone inside her skull, kicking her brain. Spencer removed the pillow.

                “Aria, what’s wrong?” she asked, putting her hand against Aria’s forehead. Concern settled across her face.

                “You’re warm,” she said. Aria shook her head, then winced from the pain it caused.

                “I’m fine. I just have a cold,” she argued. Spencer raised an eyebrow.

                “You clearly have a fever,” she said. Stubbornly, Aria sat up and started getting out of bed. A wave of pain rushed through her body and she sat back down.

                “I just need to have some coffee and I’ll be fine,” she protested weakly. Spencer produced a thermometer from her dresser drawer and made Aria stick it under her tongue.

“Is this clean?” Aria grumbled. Spencer rolled her eyes.

“Of course it’s clean. Do you think I would put a dirty thermometer in your mouth?” she asked. Aria shook her head.

“Look, even if I’m a little bit sick we can still go out,” she said around the stick in her mouth. Spencer looked at the thermometer and shook her head.

                “No way. Look at this, 102 degrees. You’re going to get back under those blankets right now and get some rest. I’ll go make you some tea if you want,” she offered. Aria shook her head.

                “No! We’re supposed to go to the orchard and buy pumpkins and carve them and I was going to surprise you by making an apple pie and if we don’t go today, who knows when we’ll be able to go!” she rambled. Spencer raised her eyebrow.

                “Aria, we cannot go to the orchard when you’re this sick. If you won’t consider your own health, think of all the children you could infect. We can go another day,” she offered. Aria’s bottom lip started trembling.

                “It isn’t fair! You’ve never even carved a pumpkin!” she cried, unsure of why she was so upset. Spencer frowned, startled by her girlfriend’s outburst.

                “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying,” Aria admitted, her tears turning into a laugh. Spencer smiled and stroked Aria’s hair.

                “It’s okay. I know you were excited about today, but seriously, it’s fine. We can pick up pumpkins at the grocery store anytime, if it’s that important,” she said. Aria shook her head.

                “That’s the thing. I don’t even really care about the pumpkins. I was just excited about spending the day with you. I feel like we’re both at work so much, and I see you some mornings, and most evenings, but we hardly ever have the same day off. I can’t remember the last time we actually spent the day together,” she said, digging to the root of her sadness at being sick. Spencer nodded.

                “I know. It’s been tough lately. I’ve been campaigning practically nonstop, and once the election is over it’ll be better, but I know I haven’t been home much,” she admitted. Aria shook her head.

                “It’s not just you. I’ve been putting in extra hours at the office too. I’ve been trying to get promoted to editor, but I’m afraid I’ve put our relationship—and my health—on the back burner,” she said. Spencer frowned.

                “What do you mean?” she asked. Aria shrugged.

                “I dunno. I just feel like I’ve been working myself into the ground, you know? It’s like maybe if I had slowed down a little I wouldn’t have gotten this sick,” she explained. Spencer nodded in understanding.

                “Okay, I have an idea. We might not be able to go to the orchard, but that doesn’t mean we can’t spend the day together. I’ll make us both some tea and we can go downstairs and watch Halloween movies,” she suggested. Aria brightened.

                “Seriously? You hate Halloween movies,” she pointed out. Spencer shrugged.

                “But you don’t. I’ll even watch _Scream_ if you want,” she offered. Aria bit her bottom lip, giving Spencer a puppy dog look.

                “Can we watch _Scream 4_?” she asked hopefully, naming her favorite movie. Spencer sighed dramatically, as if it was a huge chore for her.

                “I guess we can,” she agreed. Aria grinned happily, temporarily forgetting she was sick. Laughing at her girlfriend’s antics, Spencer also forgot for a second.

                “Oh my gosh, what am I doing? You should take some Advil,” she said, getting up to get some. Aria shook her head.

                “No, my mom always said you should let a fever run its course and not try to suppress it,” she said. Spencer paused. She considered calling Melissa—her sister had surprised the entire family when she’d announced that she was going back to school to be a doctor—but decided to wait.

                “Okay, but if it gets any higher, I’m calling Melissa,” she threatened. Aria rolled her eyes. She didn’t _really_ think Spencer would call her sister, but it was her favorite card to pull. She decided not to point out that Spencer had made that threat before and never followed through.

                “Fine, fine. Now can we go downstairs? I really would appreciate a cup of chamomile tea,” she said. Spencer nodded.

                “One cup of chamomile tea, coming right up.”


	71. No Reason-Vandermarin

                Mona Vanderwaal knew a fake ring when she saw one. She’d spent her childhood and teenage years devouring Tiffany’s catalogs, and visiting the store just to stare at the beautiful diamonds. She _knew_ what a Tiffany diamond looked like, and she knew what a fake diamond looked like. And she knew that the ring on Hanna’s finger was a fake. She also knew that only a week previously, the ring had been real.

                But it wasn’t her place anymore to ask Hanna about the switch. For all she knew, Hanna was worried about her ring being stolen and decided to wear a fake during the day. _Yeah, right_. Still, she couldn’t come out and ask Hanna what was going on. They weren’t friends, not really. Hanna had made that abundantly clear. Still, she couldn’t help but feel her way around the situation.

                “Is everything okay, Han? I mean, besides the fact that we’re busy covering up a murder?” she asked, attempting to sound nonchalant. She was in the middle of trying to trace the phone number they’d found. Hanna stiffened.

                “Of course. Why do you ask?” she asked, a bit too quickly. Mona shrugged, the picture of innocence.

                “No reason. We just haven’t talked much since—”

                “Since what?” Hanna interrupted. Mona frowned, startled by Hanna’s harsh tone. She knew the other woman was on edge, but she seemed especially snippy today.

                “Since we both got back to town,” Mona said slowly. Hanna’s shoulders relaxed.

                “Oh. Yeah. I’ve been busy. I assume you have too,” she said. Mona shrugged.

                “I suppose. I had been working on Mrs. Phillips’ campaign, but I guess Spencer told you how that turned out,” she said, still annoyed even though she now knew it hadn’t been Spencer’s fault.

                “No, she didn’t. What happened?” Hanna asked, curious as to why Spencer hadn’t told her. No, that wasn’t true. She wasn’t actually surprised Spencer hadn’t told her, given the current tension between them.  Mona sighed.

                “I gave Spencer some information about her mother that the Phillips’ campaign planned to release to the public,” Mona started.

                “About her mom’s cancer?” Hanna cut in. Mona nodded.

                “Yeah. It would have ended there, except AD then leaked that information about Yvonne having an abortion in high school. Caleb took the blame for that, but it ended with them doing a bunch of research into their system and figuring out that I’d told Spencer about her mother’s cancer. So they decided that even if I hadn’t leaked the abortion news, I still couldn’t be trusted anymore,” she explained.

                “Wait, why did Caleb take the blame?” Hanna asked, understanding more and more why Spencer hadn’t told her any of this. Mona shrugged.

“The hack came from Spencer’s computer. Veronica thought Spencer did it,” Mona said.

“So Caleb took the blame,” Hanna said. Mona nodded.

“I’m sorry about your job. AD was trying to hurt Spencer, not you,” Hanna said quietly. She knew AD had been trying to cause trouble for them, and Mona just got caught in the cross fire. Mona shrugged.

                “It’s okay. I’d be out of a job now anyway, since Veronica won. And honestly I only took the job because Veronica’s campaign wouldn’t hire me,” Mona admitted. Hanna rolled her eyes.

                “That’s a good reason to campaign for a candidate,” she said drily. Mona raised an eyebrow.

                “Did you even vote?” she sniped. Hanna looked offended.

                “Of course I did! It was Spencer’s mom running. I support my friends,” she said bitterly. Mona frowned.

                “Okay, Hanna, spill. What’s going on?” she asked. Hanna sighed and took off the fake ring.

                “I broke up with Jordan,” she admitted. Mona nodded. Honestly, she’d assumed as much.

                “Why?” Mona asked. Another sigh from the blonde.

                “Because he’s not part of this world? Because things are happening that I can’t explain? Because I don’t want to start a marriage filled with lies? Take your pick,” Hanna said. Mona pursed her lips. She had a suspicion about Hanna’s _real_ reason for dumping Jordan, but she wasn’t going to say it if Hanna wouldn’t.

                “So why the fake ring?” she asked. Hanna’s eyebrows furrowed.

                “How’d you know it was a fake?” she asked. Mona raised an eyebrow.

                “Hanna, we used to spend hours looking at Tiffany catalogues. Do you honestly think I don’t know a fake diamond when I see one?” she asked. Hanna chuckled.

                “You’re the only person who’s noticed,” she said. Mona smiled.

                “Yeah, well, I’m also the one who used to devour Tiffany catalogues. Not everyone can have my eye for diamonds. But you still haven’t answered my question. Why are you wearing a fake ring?” she asked. Hanna sighed.

                “Because I didn’t want to deal with people’s questions,” she said. Mona frowned.

                “Who would be asking questions?” she asked.

                “Spencer. My mom. Caleb. You,” she said. Mona looked down, feeling guilty for making Hanna’s list.

                “So? Who cares if people are asking questions? It’s none of their business,” Mona said. Hanna shook her head.

                “It would hurt Spencer. She would think I only broke up with Jordan because I wanted to get back together with Caleb. And Caleb would think I wanted go get back together with him,” she said.

                “Why? It’s been how long since you two broke up? Why would they assume it was about him?” Mona asked, even though she herself had assumed the same thing.

                “Because we kissed the other night,” Hanna whispered. Mona’s eyebrows shot up.

                “But it didn’t mean anything! I don’t want to get back together with him. And I don’t want to hurt Spencer, or give him false hope,” she explained. Mona nodded.

                “That explains them, but why are you so afraid of everyone else?” she asked.

                “What would I tell my mom? I don’t have any good reason to give her. And Aria would just keep giving me those little pity looks that she’s been giving me ever since she saw what AD did and she’d assume I broke up with Jordan because I’m traumatized, and maybe that is why—”

                “What do you mean since she saw what AD did to you?” Mona interrupted, worry written on her face. Hanna paled, realizing her mistake.

                “Nothing. It’s nothing,” she said.

                Before Mona could argue, a ding drew their attention to her laptop.

                “I have a location on the phone.”


	72. I'll Meet You Half Way--Sparia

                When Spencer had gone to college, she’d broken up with Toby for a simple reason: she didn’t want to do a long distance relationship. She was going to Washington DC, and he wanted to stay in Rosewood. Maybe she was being selfish or difficult, but she didn’t care. Long distance didn’t suit her.

                Yet somehow, here she was five years later, in a long distance relationship. With _Aria Montgomery._ It would only be for a couple of months, Aria promised. She just needed to wrap things up with the book, and then she’d join Spencer in DC. (Spencer needed to get back to work, and besides, she didn’t want to spend any more time in Rosewood than absolutely necessary.) That was six months ago, and Aria was still in Rosewood.

                Despite the distance, they were actually doing okay. They both made frequent visits to each other, and they’d become well acquainted with a small town halfway between their respective homes. But sometimes it was hard to be apart, especially after a bad day.

                With her boss’s angry e-mail in mind, Spencer picked up the phone and called her girlfriend.

                “Hey, babe. What’s up?” Aria answered. Spencer sighed heavily, already packing an overnight bag.

                “I need to see you,” she said, not even paying attention to what she was grabbing. There was a pause.

                “Are you breaking up with me?” Aria asked. Spencer nearly dropped the phone.

                “What? No! Why would you think that?” she asked. She could practically hear Aria’s shrug.

                “I don’t know. You said you need to see me and you sound upset,” she explained. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “I’m not going to break up with you. I _am_ upset, which is why I need to see you. I need my girlfriend tonight,” she said. Aria smiled on the other end of the phone.

                “Have you left yet?” Aria asked. Spencer shook her head, then remembered Aria couldn’t see her.

                “No, I’m getting ready. Why?”

                “I’ll meet you halfway,” Aria offered, already getting up to pack her own bag.

                “Are you sure? I don’t mind coming all the way. I know this is unexpected and—”

                “Spence, I’m sure. Besides, Ezra is on another one of his benders, so I doubt he’ll be sending chapters my way anytime soon. It’ll be good for me to get away for a while,” Aria said. Spencer made a face, and was glad her girlfriend couldn’t see her.

                The truth was, Spencer trusted Aria one hundred percent. She was her best friend, even before she was her girlfriend. But that didn’t make it any easier for her to accept that they weren’t in the same city because of Ezra Fitz. She understood that Aria’s boss was putting pressure on her to get the book, and she knew that without this book there was no way Aria would get the transfer she was hoping for. Still, it was difficult. For one thing, while she trusted Aria with her life, Spencer didn’t trust Ezra one bit.

                “Spence? You still there?” Aria asked, bringing Spencer back to the present.

                “Yeah, meeting halfway sounds great to me. I’ll see you soon,” she said.

                “See you,” Aria replied, and Spencer clicked off her phone.

                Spencer sighed, and finished packing her bag. With any luck, they wouldn’t have to plan these overnight rendezvous for much longer. Hopefully, someday soon, they’d be living together. 


	73. Take Mine--Spanna

                When it was announced that Alison DiLaurentis was throwing a Christmas ball, everyone had freaked out. There would only be a select number of tickets, and a ticket was _absolutely required_ for entry. Spencer Hastings felt like she was the only seventh grade girl at Rosewood High who didn’t care about going. Of course, maybe she only felt that way because she happened to have a ticket.

                “I can’t believe you got a ticket, Spencer! How did you do it?” Hanna Marin asked at lunch. Spencer had been tutoring the other girl in math during lunch, but they weren’t exactly friends or anything.

                “Oh, um, we’re neighbors, and my parents know her parents. I guess that somehow means she had to give me a ticket. Plus, I think my sister might be dating her brother,” Spencer said, wrinkling her nose at the idea of Melissa dating the weird guy next door, who she was pretty sure was on drugs of some kind.

                “Are you… Are you and Alison friends?” Hanna asked quietly, suddenly seeming nervous. Spencer understood why. She’d heard the things Alison called Hanna. She quickly shook her head.

                “No, I don’t even think we’ve ever had a conversation. Honestly, I probably won’t even go to the party,” she admitted. Hanna’s eyes widened.

                “Why not? It’s like, the best party Rosewood has ever or will ever see!” she exclaimed. Spencer fought the urge to roll her eyes. She didn’t want to hurt the other girl’s feelings, but she thought Alison’s party sounded stupid.

                “I’m not into big parties. And I doubt I’d even know anyone there. It would be boring,” she said. Hanna’s face fell and Spencer felt bad. She was trying to make Hanna feel better about not getting a ticket, but she seemed to just be making it worse.

                “Why do you even want to go? Alison is awful to you,” Spencer commented. Hanna shrugged.

                “Yeah, right now. But if I went to the party, maybe she’d talk to me… Maybe we could be friends. She’s nice to her friends, isn’t she?” she asked. Spencer didn’t reply, not bothering to point out once again that she really didn’t know Alison at all and they weren’t friends.

                “Take mine,” Spencer said impulsively. Hanna furrowed her eyebrows.

                “What?” she asked. Spencer opened her backpack and took out her wallet. From there, she removed a ticket and handed it to Hanna.

                “Like I said, I probably wouldn’t even go. Someone might as well use it,” she said. Hanna stared at her in awe before snatching away the ticket.

                “I don’t even know what to say,” she said, tucking the ticket into her own wallet. Spencer shrugged.

                “You don’t have to say anything. Go to the party, have fun. Who knows, maybe it’ll be the start of a beautiful friendship,” she said. Hanna nodded eagerly, though the reference seemed to go right over her head.

                “It will be, I promise! I’ll do anything to pay you back for this. Just say the word,” Hanna promised. Spencer frowned.

                “I meant you and Alison. You said you wanted to talk to her,” she reminded her. Hanna nodded, then looked sad.

                “That doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. Does it?” she asked worriedly. Spencer shook her head, not pointing out that beyond their lunchtime tutoring sessions, Hanna had never spoken to her.

                “Of course not. No matter how it goes at that party, I’m your friend,” Spencer promised. Hanna smiled shyly. She’d never really had a friend.

                “Thanks, Spencer. I’ll see you Monday?” she asked. Spencer nodded.

                “Enjoy the party, Hanna,” she said. And she meant it, she wanted the blonde to have fun. But somewhere deep down, she also hoped that Hanna was sincere in wanting to be _her_ friend.

                Little did she know, this _was_ the start of a beautiful friendship.


	74. We Can Share-Spanna

It was an abnormally cold September day, the kind of day that was perfect for curling up under a blanket with a cup of coffee and a book. Alternatively, it was a perfect day to escape your daily life and hide out with your girlfriend. Spencer Hastings was currently doing the latter of the two. After deciding that they couldn’t spend one more second in Rosewood, they'd gone up to her Nana's old lake house for the day, and so far they'd done nothing besides make out on the couch. After the week she'd had, Spencer thought it was as close to perfect as she could get. 

“Is this a new couch? It seems different from the one before,” Hanna noted, running her fingers over the fabric. Spencer rolled her eyes.

“Of course it’s a new couch. You think I was going to keep the one that you and Caleb desecrated? Well, I did keep it, but I moved it up to the attic,” she corrected herself. Her parents would have killed her if she’d gotten rid of her Nana’s couch, but there was no way she was going to use it after what it had been through.

                “That’s an awfully big word, Spence. I think you’re just jealous,” Hanna teased. Spencer rolled her eyes again.

                “Me? Jealous? I don’t get jealous,” she insisted. Now Hanna was the one rolling her eyes.

                “You do too! Remember when we were getting coffee at the Brew and you saw Caleb? I thought steam was going to come pouring out of your eyes!” Hanna exclaimed. Spencer snorted.

                “Ears, Hanna. Not eyes. And I wasn’t jealous, I was mad. He has a lot of nerve showing up in town again after how he left things,” she said, getting annoyed just thinking about it.

                “Okay, well how about when Lucas invited me to his party? You practically turned green,” she teased. Spencer shook her head.

                “I did not!” she exclaimed. Hanna nodded.

                “Yeah, you did,” she argued. Instead of a comeback, Spencer leaned in and kissed Hanna’s nose. It was then she noticed that it would be getting dark soon. While she would have loved to stay right where she was, the twisting, winding roads wouldn’t be fun to drive in the dark.

"We should probably start heading back to Rosewood," she said regretfully. Hanna groaned, warm and comfortable right where she was.

"Please, can't we stay?" she asked. Even though she knew Noel had been the one to break into her house, and he’d had no intentions of hurting her, she was scared of being home alone. 

"Won't your mom worry?" Spencer asked. Her own parents, as usual, were out of town on business. Well, her mom was anyway. Her dad was living in a small apartment in Philadelphia, where he’d been since Veronica kicked him out.

"No, she's in New York for business and Alison is finally back at her own house," Hanna said. A small smile started to creep into Spencer's face.

"Well if you're going to be home alone and I'm going to be home alone, wouldn't it make more sense--and be safer--if we were here together?" Spencer asked, sounding thoughtful. Hanna nodded, playing along.

"My house _was_ just broken into. And the police still don’t know who it was. Given the circumstances, it seems much safer to be together away from town," she agreed. Spencer grinned and started nipping and kissing Hanna's neck.

"There is one tiny problem," Spencer said. Hanna pretended to look concerned.

"Oh? What's that?" she asked.

"There's only one bed," Spencer said. Hanna bit her lip, acting like she was deep in thought.

"Well... We can share,” Hanna suggested. Spencer nodded.

“We can. But I should probably warn you that the bed is awfully small. We might have to sleep pretty close together,” she said.

“It _is_ cold outside,” Hanna pointed out. Spencer nodded.

“I guess it could work out all right,” she said. Hanna grinned.

“Race you to the bedroom!”

 


	75. I Was Just Thinking About You-Paily

                It had been two years since Emily Fields had spoken to Paige McCullers. Their breakup had been fraught with anger and broken hearts. When Emily had walked out the door, she’d never looked back. It had been the right thing to do, she was sure of it. All she’d done in the months before their breakup was hurt Paige, and she didn’t want to do that anymore.

 Given the bad breakup, she’d never expected Paige to call her up and ask her to meet for a cup of coffee. Unable to come up with a reason to say no, she’d agreed. Now she was worried it might have been a bad idea. What did you say to a woman whose heart you broke?

                “How’d you know I was home?” Emily asked, wincing at the fact that she had referred to Rosewood as _home._ The town was anything but a home. Paige shrugged and wrapped her hands around a mug of coffee. It was uncharacteristically cold for the season, and her hands were freezing.

                “I didn’t, actually. I came to town to visit my parents and my mom mentioned that she saw you the other day,” she explained. Emily frowned, trying to remember if she’d seen Kimberly McCullers anywhere.

                “She said you were with your mom. She didn’t want to interrupt,” Paige added. Emily blushed. Could Paige really still read her so well? Of course she could. Paige had always been able to read what Emily was thinking.

                “Why’d you ask me to get coffee?” Emily asked, feeling awkward. She was well aware that their breakup had been her fault, and she wouldn’t have been surprised if Paige hated her. The other woman shrugged again.

                “I was just thinking about you. I wasn’t going to bother you, but then, when my mom said you were in town, it seemed like a sign or something,” she said, hoping her explanation didn’t sound stupid. Emily tilted her head.

                “Why did you think you’d be bothering me?” she asked, genuinely curious. Hearing from Paige had been a surprise, but the other woman could never _bother_ her. Paige raised an eyebrow.

                “Two years of radio silence made me think you didn’t want to talk to me,” she said. Emily looked down, ashamed of her actions. Paige had meant so much to her, and she’d acted like she didn’t matter.

                “I’m sorry,” she said softly. Paige shrugged, the motion becoming automatic.

                “It’s okay,” she replied, just as softly.

                “No, it’s not. After everything we’d been through… We should have stayed friends. And it’s my fault, I know that,” she said. Paige sighed.

“Em, I could have made more of an effort too. You can’t take all of the blame,” she said. Emily shook her head.

“I should have called. After your accident, I should have called,” Emily said. Paige furrowed her eyebrows. She didn’t like talking about the accident that had ended her swimming career, and couldn’t imagine what grapevine Emily had heard about it through.

                “How did you know about my accident?” she asked. Emily gave a guilty shrug.

                “I guess our moms still talk occasionally, when they run into each other. My mom called me a week or so after the accident, telling me what had happened. I should have called you. I should have visited you. I’m sorry,” she apologized.

                “It’s okay,” Paige repeated. She hadn’t expected Emily to call her. Hell, she hadn’t expected Emily to _know_.

                “I guess I was kind of afraid you wouldn’t want to hear from me,” Emily continued on as if Paige hadn’t spoken.

                “Why would you think that?” Paige asked. For months, every time her phone rang she hoped it would be Emily. It got to the point that her friends had threatened to take her phone, or change her number.

                “I was awful, Paige. When my dad died… It was like my entire world ended, and I forgot how to function. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way,” she said. Paige didn’t reply. It was true that Emily had treated her like shit in the end, but there was no point in rehashing the past.

                “Let’s just move on. Forget about that stuff. I mean… We’re friends, aren’t we? Let’s just try to be friends,” Paige suggested. Emily nodded slowly.

                “I’d like that.”

                Paige grinned.

                “Good. But don’t think I’m not going to try my hardest to get the coaching position,” she said. Emily frowned.

                “What coaching position?” she asked. Paige raised an eyebrow.

                “At Rosewood High. The swim coach. My mom’s been really down ever since my dad left, and when I found out about the position—”

                “You thought it might be a sign,” Emily finished. Paige blushed.

                “Am I that predictable?” she asked. Emily laughed.

                “Only because I know you. But why did you think I knew about it?” she asked.

                “I kind of assumed it’s why you’re in Rosewood,” she said. Emily shook her head.

                “No. Not at all. I’m here because… You know what, it doesn’t matter why I’m here,” she decided. Paige nodded.

                “I’m glad you here,” she admitted. Emily smiled.

                “I’m glad too,” she said, and she meant it. Seeing Paige, talking to her, it was bringing everything back to her. All the reasons why she loved the other woman, how happy she’d been when they were together, how much she’d missed her in the last two years.

                Maybe life was giving her a second chance.


	76. I Want You To Have This-Vandermarin

                When Hanna was awoken in the middle of the night by someone shaking her shoulder, the last person she expected to see was Mona Vanderwaal. She was transported back to the night Mona had been released from Radley and had appeared in her room. This time, at least, she wasn’t afraid.

                “Mona? What the hell are you doing here?” Hanna whispered. Mona sat down on the edge of the bed, silent.

                “Mona, what’s wrong?” Hanna asked worriedly. She knew the other girl well enough to know when she was upset, even if she looked perfectly fine.

                “You and your friends asked me for help. I’m going to help you. I just… I wanted to let you know that I l--. I care about you, Han. That’s why I’m going to help you. It’s not for Spencer, or Emily, or Aria. It’s not even because I want to take down Alison. It’s because of you,” Mona said. Hanna’s face grew more worried.

                “Mona, what are you planning?” she asked. Mona shook her head.

                “Nothing. I’m not planning anything. I just wanted to tell you this while you were alone,” Mona lied. She knew if she told Hanna about her plan to fake her death, Hanna would never let her. And maybe the blonde would be mad at her later, but she could handle that.

                “You had to tell me now, in the middle of the night?” Hanna asked, raising her eyebrows. Mona nodded.

                “Yes. Oh, and here. I want you to have this,” Mona said, handing Hanna a book. The blonde squinted in the darkness, trying to make out the title.

                “ _The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe_? Mona, this is your kind of thing, not mine,” Hanna said. Mona rolled her eyes.

                “Just take the damn book, Han,” she said. Hanna narrowed her eyes.

                “Why? Why are you giving me your book? It was your grandfather’s, wasn’t it? Why are you giving it away? Are you going to hurt yourself? That thing they made us watch in health class said giving away possessions is a sign of--”

                “Jesus, Hanna, no. I’m not going to hurt myself,” she said. Hanna frowned.

                “Then what’s going on?” she asked. Mona sighed.

                “Do you always have to have so many questions? Look, Hanna. Trying to take down Alison is dangerous, for all of us. And… If she would decide to take this out on me, I just want you to have something to remember me by. Is that such a terrible thing?” Mona asked.  

                “Alison’s not going to hurt you,” Hanna said. Mona raised an eyebrow. 

                “Are you so sure about that? You saw that video of what she did,” Mona reminded her. Hanna rolled her eyes.

                “You and I both know that video was edited. It doesn’t excuse what Alison did, but there was another side no one else saw,” Hanna pointed out. Mona shrugged.

                “There’s always another side,” she said simply. There were always two sides, and one side always won and the other side always lost. All she wanted to do was make sure Hanna was on the winning side.

                “Mona… I know things have been rough between us, but I really appreciate you helping us. And I don’t want anything to happen to you. So… Maybe just try not to provoke Alison,” she suggested. Mona raised her eyebrow.

                “You mean, besides trying to prove she’s a killer?” she asked. Hanna snorted, then put her hand over her mouth. The last thing she needed to do was wake up her mom.

                “Yeah, besides that. Just look after yourself, okay?”

                Mona nodded, and started to move toward Hanna’s window, where she’d climbed in.

                “Wait!” Hanna exclaimed. Mona paused.

                “You could… You could stay. It’s the middle of the night. You shouldn’t be walking home by yourself,” Hanna said, suddenly terrified of Mona leaving. She didn’t know why, but she had a bad feeling that if Mona walked away now, something bad was going to happen. Mona smiled sadly and rejoined Hanna on the bed. She brushed a strand of hair off of Hanna’s face.

                “You really are the best friend a girl could ask for,” she said. She leaned in as if she was going to kiss Hanna, then stopped. She stood up and walked back over to the window.

                “Oh, and Hanna? You be careful too. It’s a dangerous world out there,” Mona warned. Hanna nodded, and watched her friend leave.

It was the last time she saw her alive.

 


	77. Call Me If You Need Anything-Hannily

                “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you tonight? I don’t mind. Alison will be fine on her own,” Emily said, looking at Hanna worriedly.

She was relieved that the blonde had returned safely, but she was sure there was more to the story. She didn’t believe that Hanna had just ‘needed to get away’. It was like she’d told Spencer; she knew when Hanna was lying to her. No, she was nearly positive that Hanna had been up to something, she just didn’t know what.

“I’ll be fine, Em. Really. I’m just going to go home and take a bath and go to bed. And there will be policemen outside my door, not that that’s necessary,” she said, giving Emily a pointed glare. Emily put her hands up, protesting her innocence.

“Hey, Spencer’s the one who called the police, not me. Besides, if you hadn’t been ignoring us, we wouldn’t have had to resort to that,” she pointed out. Hanna rolled her eyes.

“I didn’t ignore you guys. I just talked to you yesterday,” Hanna protested. Emily raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, but you were lying through your teeth, and you know it. You don’t have to tell me what you’ve been up to, but don’t keep lying to me. And don’t try anything on your own. Noel Kahn is dangerous. We know that much,” she insisted.

 Hanna closed her eyes. She wished she could tell Emily that there was no need to fear Noel Kahn, not right now anyway. But if she told her that, Emily would want to know how she knew. And that would involve explaining that Noel Kahn was currently tied up in an old motel room.

“Even if I wanted to do something on my own, the police aren’t going to let me out of their sight. You don’t have to worry about me,” Hanna said. Emily sighed, and nodded.

“Easier said than done, you know?” she asked. Hanna nodded. She knew the feeling exactly.

“You could just stay here,” Emily said, grasping at straws. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she didn’t want Hanna to be alone. Hanna raised an eyebrow.

“With Spencer? Yeah, I’m sure she’d love that,” Hanna said sarcastically. She could tell the other woman was frustrated with her, and she didn’t want to add to that. It was bad enough Spencer and Caleb had broken up because of her, now she was lying to her.

“Or with Aria,” Emily suggested. Hanna wrinkled her nose.

“Okay, there is no way in hell I’m going to go stay with Aria in _Ezra Fitz’s_ apartment. Remember how disgusting that place was the last time we were there?” she asked. Emily shuddered at the memory.

“I’m sure Aria’s cleaned it up since then,” she muttered. “But fine, you could come stay with me and Alison. Have a sleepover, just like the old days.”

Hanna hesitated. It sounded good, it really did, but she couldn’t. She had a situation to deal with, and she needed to be alone for it.

                “Em, I appreciate the offer, I really do, but I just want to be alone tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” she said, starting toward the door. Emily stopped her by flinging her arms around her in a hug.

                “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said. Hanna started to leave, then stopped.

                “Actually, Em… Will you come over? Not to spend the night, just for a little bit?” Hanna asked hopefully. Emily resisted the urge to grin.

                “Of course! I’d be happy to!” she agreed. Hanna gave her a small smile and followed Emily out to her car. They drove back to Lucas’s in silence.

                “Do you want a drink?” Hanna asked, pulling out a bottle of wine. Emily nodded.

                “Sure,” she said. Hanna nodded and poured two glasses of wine.

                “So what’d you guys do while I was away?” Hanna asked. Emily raised an eyebrow, looking annoyed.

                “Well you would know if you had been here,” she said. Hanna sighed and waited. Eventually, Emily started talking.

                “Besides the flash drive? Not much,” she said. Hanna nodded. She’d heard all about the flash drive—complete with glares from Spencer—earlier.

                “What’s going on with you and Paige?” Hanna asked. Emily shrugged.

                “I don’t know. It’s easy to talk to her. I can tell her things that I can’t tell Sabrina,” she explained. Hanna nodded. She understood. It was part of the reason she’d broken up with Jordan.

                “But I’m also afraid I might just be slipping back into old habits. I don’t even know if Paige still has feelings for me,” she said. Hanna snorted.

                “Of course she has feelings for you! Who wouldn’t?” Hanna asked. Emily’s eyes widened.

                “I mean, would she really be hanging around if she didn’t have feelings for you?” she backtracked. Emily shrugged again.

                “I just don’t know. Right now I just want to focus on catching Noel. It’s just complicated right now, I guess,” she said. Hanna nodded sympathetically.

                “It’ll be okay, Em,” she said. Emily’s phone dinged and she sighed. It was Alison, asking her to please come over.

                “You should go. That’s Ali, isn’t it?” Hanna asked. Emily nodded.

                “I don’t have to go,” she said. Hanna shook her head.

                “No, Em. You go. You weren’t planning on staying anyway. Go see what Alison needs,” Hanna said. Emily sighed and hugged Hanna.

                “Call me if you need anything,” she said.

                “I will. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

                Still reluctant, Emily left the loft. She didn’t know what Hanna had been up to, and she was annoyed that Alison was pulling her away before she could pry the truth out of her friend. She could only hope whatever Hanna had done wasn’t too bad.

                She should have listened to Spencer. Hope did breed eternal misery.


	78. Do You Want to Come Too?-Sparia

                “You want to _what_?” Aria asked her girlfriend incredulously. Spencer pursed her lips impatiently. She was in a hurry, and Aria was slowing her down.

                “I want to check out Sara Harvey’s room. See what’s in there. Hopefully there’ll be something that proves she’s the one who’s been texting us,” she repeated. Aria stared at her, seemingly unable to process the words.

                “That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard, Spence, and we’ve all come up with a lot of bad ideas,” she pointed out. Spencer rolled her eyes.

                “Come on, tell me you don’t want to know what she’s doing here,” Spencer said. Aria remained silent. She _was_ curious about what Sara was doing back in Rosewood… Had she just come back for Charlotte’s funeral, or had she been here before then? And either way, why?

                “Do you even have a plan?” she asked a few seconds later. Spencer nodded, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. Six years of dating and Aria was asking if she, Spencer Hastings, had a plan.

                “I’m going to go to the Radley and order a drink. Hanna’s going to keep an eye out and let me know when Sara leaves. She’ll give me the key, and then I’ll sneak into Sara’s room,” Spencer explained. Aria gaped at her girlfriend.

                “So Hanna’s in on this plan too?” she asked, irrationally jealous that her girlfriend had gone to the blonde first. Spencer nodded.

                “Of course. She has the access we need,” she said. Aria sighed.

                “What if Sara catches you?” she asked. Spencer shrugged.

                “She won’t,” she said confidently. Aria pursed her lips, annoyed by Spencer’s confidence. But she knew that once her girlfriend made up her mind, there was no changing it.

                “Do you want to come too?” Spencer asked suddenly. Aria’s jaw dropped.

                “Really? You’re inviting me to come with you?” she asked in surprise. Spencer nodded.

                “Sure. Why wouldn’t I? Team Sparia, right?” she asked. Aria broke out in a grin at the throwback.

                “God, it’s been years since I’ve heard that,” Aria said. She supposed that now they were always Team Sparia.

                “So is that a yes?” Spencer asked. Aria nodded.

                “Good. Actually, this will work even better. We can pretend we’re on a date, and then when it’s time to sneak into Sara’s room we can pretend we’re going to a room of our own. Hanna could even put us down for a room so it looks like we have a reason for going upstairs. This is perfect! Why didn’t I ask you to come in the first place?” she asked. Aria rolled her eyes.

                “Probably because you thought I’d tell you that we’re too old for this and we’re not in high school anymore,” Aria said. Spencer made a face.

                “We’re not old,” she said. “Besides, we need to find out who killed Charlotte, and you and I both know how effective the police in this town are.”

                Aria groaned.

                “Don’t remind me. They couldn’t identify a suspect if he walked right into the station,” she said. Spencer snorted.

                “Which is why we need to find out what Sara’s doing in town. Hanna raised a good point the other day. While Stockholm Syndrome _is_ a real thing, I don’t think Sara had it,” Spencer said. Aria nodded in agreement.

                “Do you really think Sara killed Charlotte, though? I mean, why would she? Charlotte covered for her in the trial,” Aria pointed out. Spencer shrugged.

                “I don’t know. There’s always more to the story than first appears. But like I said, I’m really hoping that we can prove Sara is sending the texts. If this person has a face, they lose their power. We should get going, though. I don’t want Sara to leave before we get there. We need as much time as we can get,” she said. Aria nodded and followed her out to the car.

                On the way to The Radley, Spencer turned and gave Aria an affectionate smile.

                “I’m really glad you’re coming with me,” she said. Aria returned the smile.

                “Team Sparia, baby,” she agreed.

                If she’d known the high rise acrobatics they were going to need to get into Sara’s room, she never would have agreed to help.


	79. I'll Still Be Here When You're Ready-Spanna

The fluorescent lighting of the hospital gave Spencer's face a sickly shine that made Hanna want to look away. She felt sick to her stomach when she thought about what had put her girlfriend in this situation. It had been her fault, all of it. If she hadn't kidnapped Noel, if she'd done a better job, if she'd taken the camera with her... There were so many places she could have done better, could have prevented what had happened.

She honestly didn't know why Spencer even wanted to be with her anymore. In the last week, Hanna had scared the shit out of Spencer by disappearing and then she'd gotten the brunette shot. And they'd only actually gotten together four days ago. Hanna would completely understand if Spencer decided she was too much trouble. Especially when both Toby and Caleb had shown up at her bedside, declaring their undying love for her. But she had just rolled her eyes and proudly announced that she was taken. In the present, Spencer opened her eyes.

"Hey," she said, her voice raspier than usual. Hanna forced a smile. 

"Hey. How are you feeling?" she asked. Spencer tried to shrug, but groaned in pain. Hanna frowned and moved closer to Spencer, making sure she hadn’t torn anything open.

"You aren’t supposed to move your shoulder, remember?” she chastised. Spencer rolled her eyes. In the last couple of days, Hanna had proven herself to be a complete mother hen, which was simultaneously sweet and annoying.

“I forgot,” she said innocently. Hanna shook her head in amusement before turning serious.

“Your parents stopped by again," she said cautiously, knowing Spencer wouldn’t take kindly to the news. As expected, Spencer rolled her eyes.

"I said I don't want to see them right now," she said harshly. Since the revelation that Mary was her birth mother, Spencer had announced that she was recovering from being shot and it was too much to deal with right now, and had refused to see her or her parents. The only relative she'd allowed in was Melissa, who had surprised her by appearing more quickly than she would have thought possible. Her older sister had sworn she didn't know, and Spencer believed her. For one thing, she had no reason to lie. For another, Spencer was fairly certain she would have thrown it in her face during one of their nastier fights if she'd known. 

Hanna held her hands up in a show of innocence.

"And that's what I told them," Hanna said. Even when Peter had tried to insist that Spencer was asleep and wouldn't know, Hanna had dutifully kept them out. She’d nearly broken down when she noticed Veronica discreetly wipe away a tear, but she’d promised Spencer. Honestly, Hanna had been shocked upon learning that Mary was Spencer’s biological mother. She saw so much of Veronica in Spencer.

"But you know you're going to have to deal with it sometime. I can’t keep them out forever," she added. Spencer groaned again, this time in annoyance.

"Yes, I know. But the doctor herself said I should avoid stress until I'm healed, and my parents lying about me being adopted certainly qualifies as being stressful. I've already got enough to worry about between Noel losing his head and Jenna going missing," she said, spitting out the other girls name. Hanna raised an eyebrow.

"Do not worry about Noel Kahn. And Mona’s looking into Jenna. You just worry about getting better,” she said. Spencer’s eyes narrowed at the mention of Mona’s name, which did not go unnoticed by Hanna.

“What?” she asked.

“I don’t trust Mona,” Spencer said. Hanna’s eyebrow rose higher.

“What else is new?” she asked sarcastically.

“All I’m saying is that you left her in charge of Noel, who was tied up unconscious and bleeding out when you left, and when you got back he was gone. From what you’ve described of his condition, he couldn’t have escaped without help. And then she was supposed to keep an eye on Jenna, who managed to slip right past her and show up at that house _with a gun_ and shoot me,” she emphasized. Hanna frowned, considering the idea.

Spencer had a point, she had to admit. She didn’t know how Noel could have gotten away from that cabin without help. But why would Mona help him? And why would she let Jenna go? Besides, Caleb had been there too, and he hadn’t noticed Jenna leave. The idea of Mona being an accomplice made her blood boil. If she was to blame for Spencer being hurt… Well, their friendship would be over, that was for sure.

“Spence, don’t worry about Mona, okay? Don’t worry about her, or Noel, or Jenna, or anything besides you and your family,” she said seriously.

"I'm just not ready," Spencer admitted, suddenly looking and sounding much younger than her twenty-three years. Hanna nodded. She couldn’t imagine what Spencer was feeling right now.

"Okay. Do you... do you want to talk to me? You could try saying what you want to say to them to me, as a practice run of sorts," she offered. Spencer smiled appreciatively, but shook her head.

"Thanks Han, but I don’t even know what I want to say. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it," she admitted. Hanna squeezed her hand.

"I'll still be here when you're ready," she promised. Spencer smiled. For the first time in a long time, she actually felt like she had someone in her corner, who would love her unconditionally, and support her no matter what. That wasn’t something she’d felt since Toby, and she’d forgotten how good it felt.

"Thank you," she said softly, grateful she understood. Hanna nodded again.

While she couldn’t even fathom finding out Ashley wasn’t her biological mother, she did understand the desire to keep your feelings inside, hidden from everyone. Not talking about it made it easier to pretend it didn’t hurt, at least for a while. But eventually it would all come pouring out. And when it did, she was determined to be there for her girlfriend.

 

 


	80. Is Your Seatbelt On?-Spemily

                Spencer Hastings despised roller coasters. Even as a child, she’d refused to step foot on one. She thought they were giant death traps, and she had a long list of horror stories to back her up. So when Rosewood High went on their annual senior trip to a nearby amusement park, she had made it _very_ clear she wouldn’t be riding any roller coasters. Unfortunately, her girlfriend had not gotten the memo. (Or, Spencer suspected, she just decided she’d be able to change her mind. Which, as it turned out, she could.) The problem was Emily’s face. In particular, Emily’s eyes. All she had to do was make a pouty look and Spencer melted, bending herself to Emily’s will. Which was exactly how she’d ended up in line to ride one of the infernal death traps.

                “Maybe we shouldn’t do this,” she suggested desperately. They had been in line for fifteen minutes, and they were slowly creeping closer to the front. Emily rolled her eyes.

                “No way. We’ve been standing in line for a half hour. There’s no way you’re backing out now,” she said. Spencer was too terrified to roll her eyes at her girlfriend’s miscalculation of time. She could be as impatient as Hanna sometimes.

                “But what if something happens and we get trapped at the top?” Spencer asked worriedly. Emily rolled her eyes.

                “We’re not going to get stuck,” she said.

                “Well what if we fall out?” Spencer asked. Another eye roll.

                “We won’t fall out. This is perfectly safe to ride,” Emily reassured her. Spencer huffed, still annoyed that Hanna had mysteriously come down with the flu. She had been designated Emily’s co-rider, until she bailed on the trip and Spencer had gotten stuck with the job. Suspiciously, Spencer had heard a rumor that there was a massive sale at the mall today. Even more suspiciously, she’d heard another rumor that Hanna had never paid for the trip.

                “Did you and Hanna plan this?” Spencer demanded. Emily gave her an innocent look.

                “Plan what?” she asked. Spencer’s eyes narrowed.

                “You did. She never planned on coming today, but she pretended she was coming and that she’d ride these stupid things with you because you knew I’d end up feeling bad for you and agree to put my life at risk!” she accused. Emily cocked an eyebrow.

                “Put your life at risk? A little dramatic, don’t you think?” she asked. It didn’t go unnoticed by Spencer that Emily didn’t deny the accusations.

                “Oh, look! We’re next!” Emily announced excitedly. As if sensing that Spencer was about to flee, Emily grabbed her hand.

                “Come on, this will be fun, I promise,” she said. Grumbling, Spencer followed her onto the small seat.

                “Is your seatbelt on?” Spencer asked after they’d settled in.

                “Yes, Mom,” Emily answered cheekily, earning an annoyed glare from her girlfriend.

                Spencer waited for what felt like an eternity for the rest of the people to load onto the ride. She gripped Emily’s hand tightly.

                “You better hope we don’t die,” she warned. Emily rolled her eyes.

                “Your eyes are going to get stuck like that,” Spencer grumbled under her breath. Before Emily could respond—if she was even going to—the ride started to move.

                And then they were flying. Spencer screamed as they whipped through the air, her hair flying. Then, just as quickly as they’d started, it was over. Spencer was breathing heavily, her heart racing. She looked at Emily, who had a look of pure enjoyment on her face.

                “Oh my god, that was awesome!” Emily exclaimed. Spencer grimaced. While the ride had not been _quite_ as terrible as she’d feared, it was decidedly _not_ awesome. Fortunately for her, the line was much too long for Emily to suggest riding it again.

                “Now what?” Emily asked, exiting the ride behind Spencer.

                “Now you owe me a ride on the carousel,” Spencer grumbled. Emily rolled her eyes.

                “Carousels are for children,” she complained. Her eyes lit up as she spotted something.

                “Look! This roller coaster doesn’t have a line! Let’s go!” she exclaimed excitedly, taking off for the ride.

                “I only agreed to go on one!” Spencer protested, but her girlfriend was gone. She sighed heavily, and followed after the other girl.

                To her relief, they didn’t die.


	81. Sweet Dreams--Spanna

It was only a few short hours after Mary Drake had dropped Hanna off at Spencer’s, and the couple was having the same conversation that they’d had since Hanna had insisted that someone had visited her while she was in the cabin. She’d refused to give Spencer any other details about what happened, beyond that someone who looked an awful lot like Spencer had come in and told her that she could escape. Spencer had been patiently trying to tell her that it had been a dream since then.

"Someone was there, Spencer. I swear, it wasn't just a dream," Hanna insisted for millionth time. She was curled up on Spencer's couch, her head on Spencer's lap. It was the exact same position she'd been in earlier. Only this time, it really was Spencer running her fingers through Hanna's damp hair. She was tired, but she refused to go to sleep until she knew her girlfriend believed her.

"Sweetie, you were scared, and exhausted. It was just your mind playing tricks on you," Spencer soothed. Hanna clutched at Spencer's thigh, shivering despite the blanket wrapped around her body. She felt certain she’d never be warm again.

"No, it was real!" Hanna insisted, tears springing to her eyes. She knew that her experience was unbelievable, but she’d hoped that her girlfriend at the very least would believe her. Spencer sighed and rubbed Hanna's arm, trying to calm her down. The last thing they needed was for her to start hyperventilating again, which had happened when she’d returned home and found a room full of people, and again when she’d taken a shower.

"I wasn't there, sweetie. Trust me. I wish I had, I wish I could have been there. I would have done anything to get you out of there. I never would have left you there. You don't think I would have left you there, do you?" she asked, fear seeping into her voice at the idea. Hanna shook her head quickly.

"No, of course not. I know you’d never leave me there if you had a choice. I'm not saying _you_ were there, I'm just saying someone was there. I don't know if someone was pretending to be you or if I just wanted it to be you, but someone was there. How else would I have known about AD? None of us got any texts signed that until after I'd been taken," she pointed out, raising a good point.

Spencer considered her girlfriend's words. It all seemed so random and unlikely, but the last twenty four hours had proved to her that anything was possible. And Hanna was right; the first text from AD had been the one thanking them for handing over Hanna. Yet Hanna had returned knowing about AD. If there had been someone there, Hanna easily could have imagined it being someone she knew, someone she trusted. Or... 

"You said the person was trying to get information out of you?" she asked. Hanna nodded, relieved that Spencer finally seemed to be taking her seriously.

"Yeah. They--you--wanted to know if I'd told them everything. I said I had, and that if I had known anything I would tell them," she said, cuddling closer to her girlfriend. She hated herself for even admitting it, but she would have handed over anyone (with the exception of Spencer) to end her torture.

"And that's when they told you that you could escape?" Spencer questioned, her mind churning. Hanna nodded again.

"You said that if there was a way in, there was a way out," she repeated. The words had been her mantra until she’d been back in Spencer’s arm. Spencer considered the words.

 "What are you thinking?" Hanna asked curiously.  

"I'm thinking that it sounds an awful lot like someone was trying to see if you were telling the truth by presenting a face you wouldn't lie to. When they realized that you really didn’t kill Charlotte, and you didn’t know who did, they decided to help you escape," she said. Hanna stiffened. 

"So you think they were actually pretending to be you?" she asked fearfully. Somehow the idea of someone actively trying to trick her was worse than the idea of her mind transforming someone into the person she trusted most. Not to mention, she was embarrassed to have been fooled by someone’s cheap imitation of her girlfriend. But the person had even _smelled_ like Spencer. She swore they were wearing the perfume Spencer had worn in high school. Which all added up to someone pretending to be the other woman.

"Yeah, I do. I didn't want to tell you this, at least not yet..." she trailed off. Hanna frowned, sitting up to look at her girlfriend. She was sick of people trying to hide things from her. When she’d asked where Alison was, it had taken them several minutes of questioning before they’d admitted Alison checked herself into a mental institution.

"Tell me what?" she asked. Spencer sighed. She’d been hoping this piece of information wouldn’t come up. Maybe it was wrong to want to hide it from Hanna, but it hadn’t been her cross to bear. It had been theirs.

"AD led us to a doll that appeared to be you. It had a really realistic mask," she explained, leaving out as many details as possible. Hanna nodded, feeling better that she wasn’t the only one who had been tricked into believing a mask.

"I told you I wasn't dreaming," she said triumphantly. Spencer laughed and kissed Hanna's nose. It was the first time all night Hanna had sounded like herself.

"I believe you, babe. I never doubted you,” she said. Hanna rolled her eyes, then yawned.

“Do you want to go to bed?" she asked. Hanna nodded and followed Spencer to the bedroom. Once in bed, she laid her head on Spencer's chest, relishing in the feeling of Spencer's arm around her. She could feel her girlfriend’s heart beating underneath her cheek, and it made her feel safe.

"Sweet dreams," Spencer said softly. Hanna nuzzled Spencer's neck.

"You too, Spence."

 


	82. I Was in the Neighborhood--Haria

                Hanna hadn’t left her bed in two days. Ever since she had run over Rollins with her car, she’d buried herself under the covers, away from the reality of what she’d done and the terrifying possibility that he was still alive. Emily had been in and out of the loft, checking in on Hanna every chance she got, but she had a job and classes which meant Hanna ended up being alone most of the time. Which, she was perfectly fine with. She didn’t want to be around other people. She didn’t want them to see her and know how broken she was.

                Regret and shame filled Hanna’s every waking moment. Pain and fear filled her sleep. She hated herself for kissing Caleb in that room at The Lost Woods Resort. She hated herself for kissing another woman’s boyfriend. Not just any woman, her best friend. She hated herself for cheating on her fiancé, and she hated herself for breaking up with him without explanation. He deserved better, Spencer deserved better, Caleb deserved better, everyone deserved better than her. The memory of Spencer sobbing at the door while Caleb begged her to let him in haunted her constantly.

                There was a knock at the door, but Hanna made no move to open it. Emily and Lucas both had keys and could let themselves in, and she didn’t want to see anyone else. Eventually they would get the message that she just wanted to be left alone.

                “Hanna, I know you’re in there!” Aria’s loud voice came from outside the door. Hanna pulled the spare pillow over her head, trying to drown out her voice. Out of all the people she didn’t want to see, she wanted to see Aria the least. It wasn’t the small brunette’s fault, not really. But it just so happened that she was the one who had spotted the evidence of what Hanna had been though during those terrible twenty-four hours, and Hanna couldn’t stand the look of guilt in her eyes.

                “Hanna, if you don’t let me in I swear I will break this door down!” Aria yelled. Still, Hanna made no move to get up. Aria was probably one hundred pounds soaking wet. The idea of her trying to knock down the door would have been funny if Hanna could remember how to laugh. A few seconds later she heard a key turn in the lock.

                “What are you doing here?” she spat out as Aria walked into the bedroom. The brunette shrugged and sat down on the edge of the bed.

                “I was in the neighborhood,” she said casually. Hanna raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

                “Really? And I suppose you just _happened_ to have a key?” she asked. Another shrug.

                “Emily gave it to me. She’s spending the night at Sabrina’s and she wanted to make sure you weren’t alone,” she explained. Hanna rolled her eyes.

                “I don’t need to be babysat,” she said. Aria looked at her, concern written over her face.

                “No one said you did. But you’ve been alone all day, and Emily thought you might like some company,” she said.

                “I haven’t been alone all day. Emily just left a couple of hours ago,” she said. Aria’s concern grew.

                “Han, it’s almost eight o’clock. Emily said she left at ten this morning,” Aria said slowly. Hanna frowned.

                “Oh. I guess I lost track of time,” she said.

                “When’s the last time you left this bed? Have you eaten today?” Aria asked. Hanna shrugged, not having answers to Aria’s questions. Or, at least not answers she would like. Aria sighed heavily.

                “Get up. I brought food from the Grill with me, and I’m not eating alone,” she said forcefully, grabbing Hanna’s hand and dragging her into the kitchen.

                “In the neighborhood my ass,” Hanna grumbled as Aria set a turkey sandwich with fries in front of her. Aria didn’t look the slightest bit guilty about her lie. 

                “Well I wasn’t about to let you starve. Emily said you haven’t been eating,” she said. Hanna rolled her eyes in annoyance.

                “She doesn’t need to be so paranoid. I’m fine. I’m a grown ass woman and I can take care of myself,” she grumbled. Aria raised an eyebrow.

                “You’re not acting like it,” she accused. Hanna frowned.

                “What do you mean by that?” she asked. Aria shrugged. She didn’t want to upset her friend; she just wanted her to see that everything wasn’t okay.

                “I mean you haven’t left this apartment in days,” she pointed out.

                “He’s still out there, Aria. And now I tried to kill him!” she exclaimed, fear seeping into her voice. Aria shook her head.

                “Han, he’s dead. We buried him. And besides, this started before that. What happened that night? The night he had you,” she clarified. Hanna refused to look at her, instead picking at her French fries. They were cold, but she didn’t care.

                “I saw what he did to you, Han. But there’s something more than that. He didn’t just hurt you physically. It’s like he broke something in you,” Aria said. Hanna swallowed heavily, wishing she could find the strength to kick Aria out of the loft.

                “So what if he did? The damage is done. Why can’t you guys just let me handle it?” she asked desperately. Aria reached across the table to gently take Hanna’s hand in her own.

                “Because I don’t think you are handling it. I think you’re scared, and hurt, and you need someone in your corner. You need people. Especially now. When… when I killed Shana… I never would have gotten through that without you guys,” she admitted. Hanna squeezed her eyes shut.

                “That was different. That was self defense,” she said. Aria’s eyebrows furrowed.

                “But this was an accident. He came out of nowhere. You didn’t have time to stop,” she said. Hanna looked up at her, eyes filled with tears.

                “Didn’t I? Or did I just not want to stop? There’s a part of me… There’s a part of me that is glad he’s dead,” she whispered, horrified by her own words.

                “After what he did to you? And what he did to Ali? Han, he had her tied up to the bed, muzzled like an animal. We’re all glad he’s dead,” she said. Hanna shook her head.

                “But you aren’t the one who hit him. I’m the one who will go to jail if we can’t pull this off. I’m the one he’s going to kill if he’s still alive,” she pointed out. Aria sighed.

                “He’s dead, Hanna. I promise. He is dead. And we all buried him, so we’re all going to jail if the police find out. But they won’t. Nobody’s going to jail and nobody’s getting hurt. Okay?”

                Hanna nodded, still not convinced. She’d heard his voice on the phone, threatening her. She knew it had been him.

                “Emily told me and Spencer about the call. It was just a cruel trick, Han,” Aria tried to reassure her. Hanna stared at her.

                “Isn’t that just as bad? If it isn’t him, then that means someone else knows!” she exclaimed in frustration, not understanding how Aria wasn’t grasping the direness of the situation.

                “It’s probably Mary or Jenna. And they can’t go to the police without all of the information about what they did coming out,” she reasoned. Hanna shook her head.

                “We don’t have any evidence. Sure, Emily saw Mary and Rollins arguing. Big deal. She didn’t approve of his treatment of Alison. And we can’t exactly prove that Mary was pretending to be Jessica to make Alison think she was crazy. And we only know that Jenna knew who Rollins really was because we broke into his car. _After_ killing him,” she emphasized. Aria sighed, knowing Hanna had a point.

                “If they haven’t gone to the police yet, they aren’t going to,” she protested. Hanna didn’t respond. She knew that Aria knew her argument was weak. She didn’t need Hanna to tell her that.

                “Let’s just deal with that if it happens. Which it won’t,” she said. Hanna nodded halfheartedly, fiddling with the ring on her finger.

                “Hey, Hanna? Can I ask you something?” Aria asked. Hanna nodded.

                “Why isn’t Jordan here?” she asked softly. Hanna looked up in surprise.

                “I know you didn’t want to tell him about being kidnapped, and I’m sure you don’t want him to know about Rollins, but you still could have asked him to stay for a while. Why haven’t you?” Aria continued. Hanna sighed, deciding to tell the truth. She slipped the ring off her finger.

                “Because this is a forty dollar knock-off ring,” she said. Aria frowned.

                “He’s not here because he bought you a fake ring?” she asked in confusion. Hanna snorted.

                “No, he’s not here because I gave him back his ring and then bought a fake one so I wouldn’t have to tell anyone what happened,” she explained.

                “Oh, Han… I’m so sorry,” Aria said, reaching for Hanna’s hand again. Hanna let her.

                “It’s okay. He deserves someone who doesn’t have to keep secrets from him,” she said.

                “Why didn’t you want anyone to know?” Aria asked. Hanna shrugged.

                “I don’t know. It seemed easier to pretend everything was okay than to tell anyone the truth. What would I tell my mom? She doesn’t know about any of this,” she said.

                “Were you hiding from Spencer a little too?” Aria asked softly. Hanna looked at her, confused.

                “She told you?” she asked in surprise. Aria nodded.

                “Yeah. She told me,” she confirmed. Hanna sighed.

                “I guess I was hiding from Spencer too. But not because this has anything to do with Caleb, because it doesn’t. I don’t want to get back together with him, and I didn’t want her to think I did,” she explained. Aria nodded in understanding.

                “I get it. You should tell her though,” she said.

                “I doubt she even wants to talk to me right now,” Hanna said sadly. Aria frowned.

                “What do you mean? Of course she wants to talk to you,” she said.

                “She’s so mad at me,” Hanna said quietly. Aria’s frown deepened.

                “Han, she was mad the other night, but she’s over it. She’s worried about you. We’re all worried about you,” she added. Hanna rubbed her eyes tiredly, feeling guilty all over again. She’d been trying to protect her friends from the walking disaster she felt she was, but it seemed she’d only succeeded in worrying them.  Which confirmed what she’d believed from the beginning, that she only made their lives harder.

                “Come to brunch with us tomorrow,” Aria said. Hanna shook her head.

                “I can’t,” she said automatically. Aria tilted her head.

                “Have plans?” she asked sarcastically, feeling guilty when Hanna’s face fell.

                “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. But seriously, come with us. Please. Spencer really does want to see you, but she’s afraid to come over,” Aria said. Hanna made a face.

                “Why is she afraid?” she asked. Aria shrugged.

                “Because she’s Spencer. She thinks you hate her for dating Caleb,” she explained. Hanna sighed in frustration.

                “How many times do I have to say this? I don’t care if she’s dating Caleb! I made a mistake that night, kissing him. I don’t want to get back together with him!” she exclaimed, tears springing to her eyes. She hated this, hated the misunderstanding and the confusion.

                “So tell her that!” Aria shot back, entirely frustrated with the situation. She just wanted her friends back. Hanna was quiet for several long minutes.

                “If you’re going to stay here, can we please just talk about something else?” she implored. Aria thought for a few seconds.

                “I broke up with Ezra,” she said. Hanna’s eyebrows shot up.

                “What? I thought you just dumped Liam for him?” she asked in confusion. She knew that she’d been pretty out of it, but how much had she missed? Aria nodded.

                “I did. But then I realized that I haven’t really been single, well, ever. I went from dating Ezra to dating Jake to dating Ezra to dating Jason to dating Liam to dating Ezra again—”

                “Jason _DiLaurentis_?” Hanna shrieked. Aria blushed, remembering that she hadn’t told any of her friends about that.

                “Oh, uh, yeah. But anyway, I realized that maybe it would be good for me to focus on me for a while, you know?” she asked. Hanna nodded impatiently.

                “Yeah, yeah, now go back to the Jason thing,” she ordered. Aria smiled and began to tell her friend about the short relationship she’d had with Alison’s brother.

                Several hours later, the two women were asleep on the couch, having talked themselves to exhaustion. And the next morning, Hanna agreed to go to brunch. She was still broken, but maybe her friends could help put her back together.


	83. Stay There, I'm Coming to Get You--Vandermarin

                Mona glared at Spencer.

                “You honestly think I killed Charlotte?” she asked angrily, putting the slip of paper on the table. Spencer shrugged.

                “I think you’re a suspect, and we need to discuss the suspects,” she said. Mona shook her head.

                “And you honestly think that I would let Hanna put herself in danger if I was the killer? You know what, Hanna doesn’t have time for this! Majority rules, and the majority says Alison!” she argued, deciding to ignore Spencer’s continued distrust of her.

                “Look, I hate to say it, but Mona’s right. We need to focus on finding Hanna,” Caleb agreed. Mona almost smiled at the disdain in her voice.

                “We can’t just turn over Alison!” Emily argued. Mona groaned. This was going nowhere.

                “Fine. You guys argue. I’m going to find my friend,” she snapped, storming out of Spencer’s house. She drove to the Radley, fuming the entire time.

                She couldn’t believe this. It was bad enough that Hanna had formulated this stupid plan without even telling her, but then Caleb couldn’t even do his job right. Now Hanna was missing, and if they didn’t hurry and find Charlotte’s real killer, Hanna would pay for it. She kept thinking back to the moment in the church when she’d seen Hanna’s ‘body’. She’d felt like the air had been sucked out of her lungs.

                Her cell phone rang, and she frowned at the unfamiliar number. Normally she’d ignore an unknown number, but with the current situation she decided to answer it. Thank goodness she did.

                “Hello?” she answered.

                “Mona?” a small voice responded. Mona felt her heart soar.

                “Hanna? Hanna where are you?” she asked frantically. She heard Hanna take a shaky breath.

                “I-I don’t know. I’m in some building. A barn? I don’t know,” she repeated. Mona nodded absentmindedly, already typing away on her laptop.

                “I’m tracing your signal, okay?” she said. Hanna didn’t respond. A loud ping alerted Mona to the laptop. She had a location.

                “Stay there. I’m coming to get you,” Mona said.

\---

                A half hour later, Mona pulled up to an old abandoned barn. Pulling out her taser and a flashlight, she started walking to the door. It took some effort, but she managed to get the door open.

                “Hanna?” she called softly, shining the flashlight around the room. It seemed to be empty, but finally the light landed on a small form curled up.

                “Hanna!” she exclaimed, rushing over to her. Hanna lifted her head weakly.

                “You came,” she said, her voice cracking. Mona’s heart broke.

                “Of course I did. Now let’s get out of here. We can talk in the car,” she said. She put an arm around the blonde and helped her up, anger coursing through her at the sight of burns on Hanna’s body.

                “I have a blanket in the back,” she said when they reached the car. Hanna nodded blankly and allowed Mona to wrap the blanket around her and help her into the passenger seat.

                Neither woman spoke for several minutes.

                “How’d you find me?” Hanna asked. Mona glanced at her.

                “I traced the cell you used to call me,” she said. Hanna frowned, a small wrinkle creasing between her eyebrows.

                “What are you talking about? I didn’t call you,” she said. Now Mona frowned.

                “Yes, you did,” she said slowly.

                “No, that was just a dream. Spencer was there, only it was high school Spencer. She gave me a phone and told me to call you. But when I opened my eyes, she was gone, and there wasn’t a phone. I guess it wasn’t a dream,” Hanna said, her voice fading. Mona’s eyebrows furrowed together.

                “I was with Spencer right before you called me,” she said. Hanna rolled her eyes.

                “Well I wasn’t really suggesting Spencer was there,” she said sarcastically.

                “It’s weird though. Someone had to have been there to give you a phone and then take it, because you definitely called me. And it was definitely you on the phone,” Mona wondered aloud.

                “Why did I think it was Spencer?” Hanna asked. Mona shrugged.

                “I guess she’s who you wanted to see in the moment. Or maybe it was someone who looked a bit like Spencer and you saw her. Hell, it could have been someone wearing a mask,” she said. Hanna nodded slowly.

                “Why did she tell me to call you?” she asked. Mona sighed. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t been wondering that since hearing Hanna’s voice on the other end of the phone. Despite the strides toward friendship they’d made in the past, things had been rocky since their return to Rosewood. Hanna had a million people to call. Why would she choose her?

                “I don’t know,” Mona answered honestly. Hanna was quiet for a minute.

                “I think I know,” she said quietly. Mona glanced at her, allowing herself to imagine, just for a second, that Hanna had called her because she was feeling the same things Mona had been feeling since high school.

                “Why?” she finally asked.

                “You could track the phone and figure out where I was,” Hanna explained. Mona frowned.

                “So could Caleb,” she pointed out. Hanna nodded.

                “Yeah, but he’d tell Spencer and everyone else. You came alone,” she said. Mona let her words sink in. It was true. If Hanna had called Caleb, he would have told everyone else and they would have all rushed to find Hanna, which would have been overwhelming.

                “Speaking of which, I should probably let them know you’re safe,” she mused, considering not informing them. It would serve them right for sitting around fighting instead of looking for Hanna.

                “Where are you taking me?” Hanna asked. Mona paused. They were almost back to Rosewood and she hadn’t even considered where she was driving to.

                “Where do you want to go?” she asked, expecting her to say Spencer’s or her mother’s or back to Lucas’s loft.

                “Are you staying at your mom’s house?” Hanna asked, distracting Mona. She shook her head.

                “No, I’m at the Radley. Why?”

                “Can I go home with you?” she asked hopefully. Mona fought the urge to grin. Out of everything Hanna might have said, she wouldn’t have expected this.

                “Of course you can,” she said. Hanna offered her a small smile.

                The rest of the ride back to town was silent, but it was a comfortable silence. When they finally returned to the Radley, Mona led Hanna up to her room and offered her a pair of pajamas. The blonde accepted gratefully.

                “Can I get you anything? Water, tea, Advil?” she offered.

                “I really just want to go to sleep,” Hanna admitted. In the light of the hotel room, Mona could see the dark circles under Hanna’s eyes. She looked exhausted.

                “You can take the bed,” she said. Hanna shook her head.

                “I don’t to be alone. Please,” she said, hoping Mona would catch her meaning. She did. Mona swallowed thickly, trying to ignore the heat pooling in her belly. She tried to tell herself she was being silly. She and Hanna had shared a bed plenty of times before, and she’d always been able to push away her attraction.

                “Unless you don’t want to,” Hanna said quickly. Mona shook her head.

                “No, don’t be silly. Come on, let’s go to bed,” she said, leading Hanna into the bedroom.

They both crawled into the bed, being careful at first not to touch. The second Mona turned off the lights, though, Hanna scooted closer. Mona gasped.

“Sorry,” Hanna mumbled.

“No, you’re fine. You just have cold feet,” Mona lied. Hanna laughed, seeming to believe the lie.

“Thanks for letting me stay here,” she said. Mona smiled genuinely.

“You’re always welcome here,” she promised. Hanna sighed and closed her eyes, hoping sleep would come to her.

Sleep evaded Mona, but it was still the best night she’d had in years.


	84. The Key Is Under the Mat--Spanna

                It was the worst fight Spencer had ever had with one of her parents. And that was saying a lot, since fighting was practically a sport in her house. But this one had been different. She’d been asking her dad questions about Radley, and why he’d been talking to Jessica so much. All she wanted was for Toby to know the truth about what had happened to his mother. And she wouldn’t lie, she was still angry at Peter and Jessica for having an affair, and hurting Veronica. The fight had gotten ugly, and she’d run out the front door, not looking back even when Peter shouted at her to return. It wasn’t until she was a block away that she realized she had nowhere to go.

                Toby was obviously out. Emily was still pissed at her for following her to the meeting with Alison. Given her suspicions about Ezra, she knew she’d never be able to look at Aria right now. She picked up her phone and dialed Hanna’s number, hoping the blonde hadn’t taken Emily’s side in the argument.

                “Spence?” Hanna answered on the first ring.

                “Hey. I can’t stay at my house. Can I come over?” Spencer asked.

                “Of course. My mom’s out of town, and I’m out, but I should be back in a few minutes. When do you want to come over?”

                “Um, now,” Spencer said, not mentioning that she was already halfway there.

                “The key is under the mat. Let yourself in. I’ll be back soon,” Hanna said. Spencer thanked her and hung up.

                It was a half hour before Hanna returned home, but Spencer didn’t mind being alone. She actually fell asleep waiting for her.

                “Spence? Are you okay?” Hanna asked worriedly, shaking her friend’s shoulder. Spencer sat up, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

                “Yeah, sorry. I’m just tired,” she said. It wasn’t a lie. Between the secrets her dad was keeping and her investigation into Ezra, she’d hardly slept in a week.

                “You want to talk about it?” Hanna asked, sitting down next to Spencer. The brunette shrugged.

                “I had a fight with my dad,” she said simply. Hanna nodded, understanding completely.

                “See, this is why I don’t talk to my dad,” she said with mock seriousness. It worked, and Spencer laughed.

                “Unfortunately I don’t have that choice, since I live with him,” she said. Hanna nodded sympathetically.

                “What was this fight about?” Hanna asked. Spencer sighed.

                “You know how he started out being so insistent about helping Toby find out why Radley covered up his mother’s death?” she asked. Hanna nodded.

                “Well, ever since finding out that Jessica DiLaurentis was on the board there, he’s been pushing Toby to take the deal they’re offering him. I tried to ask him what’s going on, and he got really mad. And _really_ defensive. I don’t know if he knows something or if Jessica is blackmailing him or what,” she complained.

                “Does Jessica have something she could blackmail him with?” she asked. Spencer hesitated. Her mother already knew about the affair, and Jason, so while it would be humiliating for her family if that secret came out, she didn’t think it would be strong enough to keep Peter in line.

                “I don’t think so,” she said.

“Maybe he just thinks Toby won’t win?” Hanna suggested. Spencer shook her head.

                “That’s the thing. Toby _could_ win. He could find out the truth. But now my dad is dangling dollar signs in front of his eyes, and I think he’s going to take it,” she said. Hanna frowned.

                “Why? Why would he do that?” she asked. Spencer shrugged.

                “My dad can be very persuasive when he wants to be. I tried to tell Toby that my dad is just pushing this deal because of Jessica DiLaurentis, but he doesn’t seem to care. Now he’s mad at me. Everyone’s mad at me,” she said. Hanna put her arm around Spencer.

                “I’m not mad at you,” she said softly. Spencer smiled and laid her head on Hanna’s shoulder.

                “Thanks, Han.”

                “And Emily will get over it. You had her best interests at heart. Which is exactly what I told her, and I also told her that if I’d known what she was doing, I’d have done the same thing,” Hanna said. Spencer’s eyes widened. While neither Aria nor Hanna had said outright that Spencer was wrong for following Emily, neither of them had openly supported her either.

                “Did you really mean it? Or were you just saying it to stop her from being mad?” Spencer asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

                “I meant it. I love Ali too, and I want to know what’s going on, but I don’t trust her. For all we know, she killed whoever was in that grave before faking her own death. Why else would she have disappeared the way she did?” Hanna questioned. Spencer nodded, relieved someone understood her line of thinking.

                “That’s what I tried to tell Emily,” she said. Hanna snorted.

                “Well that’s where you went wrong, suggesting that Ali could be dangerous,” she said. Spencer frowned.

                “What should I have said?” she asked.

                “That it would all be a set up that had nothing to do with Alison,” Hanna said simply. Spencer considered for a second. Maybe Hanna had a point.

                “I’m starving. Do you want to order a pizza?” Hanna asked, already getting up. Spencer nodded.

                “Sure,” she said softly. Hanna gave her friend a small smile.

                “Spence, it’s going to be okay. With Emily, with Toby, with your dad. It’s going to work out. I promise,” she said. Spencer returned the smile, but it wasn’t real.

                It wouldn’t be okay. Not when her dad was keeping secrets, Alison might be dangerous, and Ezra might be A.


End file.
